My husband can't spell the word "romance". He never gives me flowers, or compliment my cooking. I know he enjoys my cooking, by looking at his plate (gready). No hugs, Kisses? what's that. Bedroom activities are 50% out of 100%. I can take it, or leave it. At this point, I don't care. We have been married for five years. I don't suspect him of cheating, because he is always home. He work comes home, play the video game for hours, get on the computer for hours, look at tv for hours. Then goes to bed. When its time to get intimate, he has the nerve to get mad when I am sleep at 2am in the morning. 2am is when his little activites end. Believe me it's not worth waiting for. I rather go with out. In a nut shell, I don't feel appreciated. I keep a clean house, I cook, wash his clothes, take our son to school, and I work as a R.N. in the Emergency dept. which is very stressful. Before we got married, he was so romantic. He acts like a old man. We are both 38years old. I do love him. Help!
2007-11-10 07:58:39 · 8 answers · asked by Monique 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It shouldn't. The fact is that as humans we are selfish and that causes our want to become more important than the relationship or the spouse. Stop killing yourself for him so he can see all of the things he takes for granted, then maybe you'll have a chance to help him turn off his xbox and grow up so he gives you the consideration you need. I've seen this type of behavior in many children too, might be how he was raised too...
2007-11-10 10:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get lazy when they get what they want. He thinks that he has you and now he does not have to do these things. You have let it go on too long. I would have a talk with him about it. I would be asleep at 2am also and he would have to suffer. He needs to do more around the house also. You work too so it should not be all your responsibility. If you cannot get through to him stop washing his clothes and fixing his dinner. That may sound drastic to you but it will open his eyes. If you can't get out of him what you need then he cannot get anything out of you. You are being neglected and you need to make him realize this. You will not put up with this forever.
2007-11-10 08:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been told that you get what you give. In other words, you are going to have to take it upon yourself to set the romantic setting that you are looking for. He may not be very comfortable with this at first but try to explain to him that is something that you need and are desperately lacking in your marriage.
I certainly feel for you. It can be very frustrating to want something so badly and not receive it. I know you want your husband to just do it "naturally" but obviously he is going to need a little push...ok, a BIG push. Try dancing around in front of the TV or computer wearing next to nothing and see if that gets his attention. Do something shocking in front of him (you know what I mean) and see if he responds then.
Try to explain it to him and be patient. It may not happen overnight. If he still rejects you after several attempts then I would blunty tell him that the marriage will not continue to thrive unless he gives you more than you are getting now. Then I would suggest marriage counceling.
I wish you lots of luck!!!
2007-11-10 08:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by TXBluebonnett1391 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want something to change, you have to make a change.
Why don't you do, wear, say or plan something out of the ordinary? Show him how you love him. Maybe do this bi- weekly, weekly or daily until he starts to get the hint. It might take a while for him to catch on, but he will notice eventually.
Don't hang him out to dry. He sounds pretty typical and so does the situation.
Go and do something for yourself. Make yourself happy (Buy yourself flowers, take a bubble bath, excercise, shop for something nice, accomplish something you have been wanting to do for a while, etc.)and the happiness will show in your relationship.
Oh, and why don't you try waking him up early in the morning for some intimacy?
2007-11-10 08:13:21 · answer #4 · answered by Fancy You 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It dos not ends. just discus with hem what u fell and what u want in your live, and why you don't try be romantic some time.tell hem that we are yang have to enjoy are live because the time well not stop.so just spike what u feel. good lack
2007-11-10 08:07:16 · answer #5 · answered by daark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awh, you seem like a great mother.
What I would suggest is talking to him despite the intimacy between you two?
I couldn't relate to the situation, but my best guess is to just talk it out.
2007-11-10 08:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like any relationship. . . eventually the novelty wears off. See if he'll go with you to counseling and maybe you both can salvage your marriage. Good Luck!
2007-11-10 08:02:50 · answer #7 · answered by peaches6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you married the wrong man
your mother was right
I have found confronting with the truth works
however i have been slapped in the face by many a woman in your case you do the slapping to his face
2007-11-10 08:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋