My ex-boyfriend who I dated 2 yrs ago and we are still great friends he is 20 and is engaged to a 15 yr old... He says he still loves me and wants to be with me... He has been with her a yr, she just found out her mom has terminal cancer and she really doesn't have any other family....He feels its his responsibility to take care of her.... I know its bad that I want him all to myself but im tired waiting my turn... she is young and has time to find many other guys... I am not in high school anymore I want a family now... what should I do? I am only a sitting duck? The evil side of me wants to burst her perfect life bubble and show her the emails and conversations he and I have everyday.... and the other side wants me to wait but I think after her mother dies he will feel responsible to marry her and take care of her and thats is the last thing I want... She is very mean to him and thats just cause she is young and inmature I know but he shouldn't put up with it either.... Help!!!
2007-11-10 07:37:13 · 52 answers · asked by Amber m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We broke up cause I was 16 he was 17 young and dumb now we are both almost 21 ready for what is to come... 15 is legal in WV where they live I am from VA... and anyone can get married if thier parents sign for them...
2007-11-10 07:44:06 · update #1
Im not having sex with him Im not that much of a ***** haha
2007-11-10 07:45:31 · update #2
He isn't playing me I know the whole situation He is playing her BAD.. I feel sorry for the young dumb girl...
2007-11-10 07:47:36 · update #3
I have a good job and he is a computer programmer so he has a good job also... haha so do not tell me to get a good job and find my own way money is not the objective here in this bond...
2007-11-10 07:53:27 · update #4
I have been away for college... and knew better than to be tired down during that....
2007-11-10 07:55:46 · update #5
I dumbed him not he dumbed me... I was concentrated on school at the time...
2007-11-10 07:58:12 · update #6
Yes I agree she is way to young!!! and thats another reason he is still hanging around so that she doenst get pissed and turn him into the police.... she is crazy and has said she would do that before...
2007-11-10 08:00:29 · update #7
AGAIN IM NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM!!!
2007-11-10 08:06:56 · update #8
First she is to young second you need to get your man back.
2007-11-10 07:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by missnikki1996 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess hurting her bubble will bring her down a notch considering shes a biotch, so go ahead and send her the e-mails.
As for you, I honestly think you should move on, He sounds really stupid. The fact that he's engaged and says he loves you and wants to be with you makes him an *** that just wants a fall back, or likes the thought of having two girls that are 'madly in love with him'.
The fact that he's engaged to a 15 year old and 20 makes him a pedophile. If the police were to find out, he could serve time in prison and then have to register as a sex offender. That title stays for the rest of your life. I believe though, if the parents are okay with it and know, they can be together, but I might be wrong.
I think if you want your own family and stuff, you should move on and find a better guy, this ones nice and your good friends, but what hes doing isn't right. You're also adding feul to fire by waiting for him, hes manipulating you by saying he loves you.
If your friendship is important to you, keep it but if your using it as a step to a relationship, maybe you shouldn't see him any more. Bottom line, find a new guy, this ones an @$$ for dumping you and then putting you through this.
Sorry if you find this offensive, but you asked opinions and I said mine.
2007-11-10 07:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by ....................... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a baby, you're a baby, and the girl is a baby. You are about to screw up your life big time. Read these four little things my mom started hammering into my head at 13. Get your life back on track, hon.... You aren't thinking....
1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.
2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to
3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better.
If you were my sister, you wouldn't even be asking such a truly stupid question.... but actually all this really isn't your fault. We don't teach classes in life skills in hs. We just turn you guys out, and hope to don't fluck up your lives. But you are about to make a mess of the one you have... And as a public school teacher, my deepest apologies.
2007-11-10 07:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless he is marrying a Mormon, there is no way a 15 yr old would be engaged. The worst thing he could do is marry someone he doesn't love out of a sense of responsibility; unfair to her and not too good for him either. Since her Mom has terminal cancer and is dying, I doubt very much she has a "perfect life bubble" and you don't have to think of horrible things to do to her out of your own petty spite and jealousy, your Prince Charming b/f needs to tell her the engagement is off because he is a total louse-loser and way too immature to even think about marrying anyone. You and your b'f=match made (was going to say Heaven, but can't say that in this case) somewhere, the two of you are perfect for one another...both amoral in every way.
2007-11-10 10:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would drop him like a hot potato. For God Sakes Girl! He is dating a 15 year old girl and he is 20. He has issues. Not to mention the drama. Run away from this situation as fast as you can. Move on with your life and find someone else. If you are even remotely close to his age you have tons of time to have a family with a nice man that won't play these games.
2007-11-10 07:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by sweet_sensation775 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agree with the previous as to your boyfriend's keeping both of you on the line, but would like to point out that if your mother is dying when you are 15, you don't exactly have "a perfect life bubble." Is he really a good candidate for a father? You have a good 10 years yourself before you need to worry about your biological clock. He may be enticing, but psychologically, there are better catches.
2007-11-10 07:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by Trish T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So how come you two broke up? Aside from that he has "been with her for a year" she is 15, that means he was dating a 14yr old! Sounds like a paed to me hun. Aside from that he is a liar and a cheat, what has he been doing in the 2yrs since you broke up? He has had plenty of time to get back with you. My guess is you are still sleeping with this guy....Bigger fool you. Why have you not moved on? Do not even think about having kids.... You are still one yourself. Anyone who would hang around waiting for this a******e, does not deserve to reproduce. Get yourself a decent job, earn your way in the world, stop competing with little girls and eventually find yourself a real man. When you are a real woman of course and not before.
2007-11-10 07:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Willow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has been going on with you for the past two years since you broke up?? He certainly has been busy. And isn't 15 a little young for a 20 year old. Ask yourself why you really want him back. Hope it;s not just because he's with someone else. Don't you think he's a manipulator?? After all he's emailing you and telling you he still loves you, But he's with her!!!
2007-11-10 07:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by sandy t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to explain to your ex-boyfriend that he can be supportive of this 15 year old without having to be married to her. It's never a good idea to marry someone because you feel sorry for them. If your ex-boyfriend hasn't learned this lesson yet, then he's not as mature as you think he is.
If you want to have a successful relationship, you should work on being mature yourself. Show some compassion for the 15 year old girl who is losing her mother to cancer. Would you want someone saying they love you when what they really feel is pity for you?
If your ex-boyfriend can't figure out how to gracefully end his engagement to this girl, you should take this as a sign that his level of maturity and love for you are not strong enough to lead to a healthy relationship with you either.
Your ex-boyfriend is wrong to be assuring his fiance that he loves her while he continues to send you daily emails telling you he still wants you too.
Don't be so impatient. Why not find another man who hasn't put himself in such a compromising position? Find someone who loves you and will be committed to you.
2007-11-10 08:13:21 · answer #9 · answered by Paul P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only fifteen she needs more time to grow. She can't be ready for the responsibility for life yet. I know she will be sad, but she will find another guy that she can have a happy relationship which both will be ready for the next step. you and he seem you both still like each other that should matter especially if he is engaged to a much younger girl who isn't ready for life, and he still has feelings for you. You need to do what feels right. Good luck!
2007-11-10 07:47:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, take a deep breath and read what you just wrote. To sum it up you want a guy who is cheating on his fiance because????????
What's the breaking point for you? Stay out of his business. If he wants you to be in his life then he needs to handle his business first. He is not available to you.
You don't say how old you are but I don't understand why at 20 years old, this man is with a 15 year old?
Are you sure SHE is the one who is immature?
In most states, your X bf, is a pedofile. Never mind bursting her bubble. Protect her and any others from this guy. Report him to the authorities!
2007-11-10 07:48:33 · answer #11 · answered by TBAR 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋