How do I talk to my daughter about sex?

Question

My daughter is almost 9 years old and she knows the word sex so I attempted to explain the concept to her. She knows about periods and why Mommy has them. The one time I tried to explain the difference between boys and girls I ended up pulling out the encyclopedia and she lost interest. I am a single mother so I don't have any male support on this issue so I'm scared and confused as to how and when to go about this. I don't want her learning from friends at school because as we all know she won't get the truth. What do I do?

Answer 1

A great book for young girls is The care and keeping of me. It is from American Girl. I would buy her that ($9.99) and go from there. She might have questions then. You can get it from Target or Bath and Body Works. I don't know if Wal mart sells it or not. If you cannot find it you can order it on line at American Girl. After my daughter told her friends about it they all got on. You do have to explain this all to her. You are right about getting the wrong information from her friends. Just being on this sight I am amazed at the wrong information these girls have been given about sex and pregnancy. Good luck.

Answer 2

I think it's best that she hears in from you and not something she learns at school. I mean how would that make you feel if she can home from school one day and said " hey mommy guess what I learned about sex today." You have already been doing a great job just to let you know. You don't need to give her too many details if you don't want to. Just tell her it's something you do when your older when mommy and daddy want a baby. The only other thing you should tell her is that females and males have different sex organs. The more detailed stuff she will find out on her own as she gets older. Hope I helped and good luck!

Answer 3

It's a tricky thing, and i dont ever remember my mum giving me 'the talk.' Lots of mums do the easy thing of saying 'you'll find out when you get older' I think its important that you bring it up casually so that she does not dwell on the idea to much. Something along the lines of that when a man and a woman are in love they have sex, its a way of showing true love for each other. and thats why boys and girls physically look different.The woman can get pregnant from having sex.

To be honest you dont really need to go into too much detail because she will learn it in lessons at school, and unfortunately, as much as we do not want them too, she will pick it up from the playground. But giving your daughter this gentle introduction means that she knows she can come to you with any questions on the topic or with any myths she's heard at school. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

You should maintain your relationship with your daughter in such a way as to make sure you can discuss anything comfortably. Nine may be a little young for graphic details, but you should be able to talk in general terms. For example, she should know by now that it is not okay for anyone to touch her inappropriately and that sort of thing. Also, if she asks you questions about sex, then she's probably ready to hear more about it.

Answer 5

A good book (you can check it out on amazon.com): It's So Amazing!

A good website: http://www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/ourwhole/

That website is from the Unitarian Universalist site, and it's about a sexuality curriculum for children. My daughter took the K-1 class, and I thought it was worthwhile, intelligent, serious without being dry, and age appropriate (although scads of Americans would probably disagree with me). There are some links on that page that would probably be of service to you.

Answer 6

I think the best way is not to overwhelm her with information, but take your cues from her questions. Answer her in the same way she asks, but don't turn it into sex-ed 101. You don't have to tell her all at once, she won't remember enough that way. Instead, feed her a little info at a time, as things come up, like on TV or in movies, magazines, radio song lyrics, etc. take the opportunity to explain one thing at a time.
That's how my Dad, a single parent, did it with me, and I thought it was a great way to handle it.

Answer 7

get her a book that explains everything.
there are lots of books explaining the birds and the bees in an age apropriate manner. some of them are especially for girls or boys.
give her the book and tell her that she can read it in her own time and come to ask you any questions she may have.
or she might like you to read it with her.
my mum used this approach on me when i was 10 and that book did the rounds in the family with all the nieces. it was called GIRL TALK but i cant remember who wrote it.

Answer 8

At 9 years of age, she doesn't need details. I started talking to my children at a very young age and they know, that I'm always willing to answer their questions. They have often asked me surprising questions, but the bond that we have developed with this process is a God send. They know I will answer any question and they don't have to be afraid I'll think their question is "dumb." In return, I get peace of mind knowing they aren't relying on playground information.

Answer 9

Well she is 9 years old i hope she is not haveing sex at this age. But if you are gonna talk to her about. Talk about it when she is a little older like 11 or 12. And if she is not intersted in talking about it now wait till she asks!

Answer 10

ok shes 9 she doesnt need to know all the details, hardly even the basics....not very many 4th graders talk about sex anyways so unless she with 12 or up kids then how would she learn at school?? dont be afriad to talk to her, she is your kid