Please give advice on how i can help my daughter deal with the racial comment at her job?

Question

My Daughter has not quit her job because she fears a bad reference.. which would hinder her in finding another job.. and what do she say why she left her old job she has talk with the right dept heads to deal with the the "you should be on a syrup bottle comments, that she should check with the human resources dept if she is going to ware her hair natural. because she decided not to put chemicals in her hair to straighten it any longer.. when planning a board meeting her boss was asked who is the new person.. she was introduced as. The new and I quote " this is my new slave" me at her age there would have been a beat down.. this company did a mediation meeting of all parties concerned with some one that the supervisor and her supervisors boss choose..... my child enjoys the work she is doing in social service field.

Answer 1

That's some bulls**t. Tell your daughter to retain an attorney, NOW. She'll never have to work again if she doesn't want to.

Answer 2

What your daughter needs to do is quit and find a new job working with actual human beings, instead of yard dogs.

BUT--do it the smart way. Simply walking out is obviously not a good idea. What you and your daughter need to do is this:

>Start by sitting down and figuring out a plausible excuse for leaving. This can be anything--but should be as real (true) as possible. This is not because "honesty is always the best policy"--which it is wehn dealing with civilized people. In thsis case, you aren't and owe them nothing. The point is to have a "good reason" for leaving. It can be anything--you need help at home, a sick relative, transportation difficulties--anything. The absolute best reason--if this is feasible--is that your daughter is going to school to improve herself.

The idea is to seperate your daughter's departure from the bad treatment she has received. This removes any incentive on the part of her boss to retaliate with a bad reccomendation.

Step two is to make a special effort at work to do a really satisfactory job--be on time, be nice (no matter what!) and work hard. Again, if she ccreats the right impression, she will reduce the chancces of a bad reference.

Third--what all the yuppies call "networking." This means you--and your dughter--start letting anyone you know and trust that she is looking for another job.

AFTER you have all the above things set up, she should give a notice--in writing. And work out the notice, keeping up the "on-time, hard-working, friendly" attitude--just grit her teath and do this.

Three more things--hints on how to make this work:

First, think about a "transition job"--my roomate calls this a "lily pad. :) Its the place a frog lands n his way to someplace else. A lilypad job is one she can get quickly and that will leave her free to keep hunting for the kind of work she really wants--but will bring in some money so she has time to do the job search right and without worrying.

Second--I don't know your daughter's education or job skills--but one thing she should seriously think about is returning to school if she doesn't have a degree or diploma from apost-high school job training or college. And--money here is not a problem. Almost anyone can get enough help to cover the cost at local/state schools (unless you've got a lot of money, I DO NOT recommend private schools. Some are good--but they are expensive). The catch is : does your daughter have time? Can she and you work out something so she can work just part time or otherwise manage while going to school.

The reason I mention this is simple--I'm betting your daughter is working at a relative low-skill or low-status job. That's because places where more education is required almost never tolerate such treatment of co-workers. Where I work (a university) such treatment would not "go to mediation"--because the person being that abusive would be fired. So--she should think about moving up--she doesn't need to continue waasting her time putting up with trash.

Last: PATIENTCE. Tell your daughter to take her time and take care of herself. There's a natural temptation to tell these scum what she really thinks. Don't do it. They deserve it, yes. But the idea is for her to take good care of herself. Leave these jerks to the judgement of Heaven (and that's not being nice!).

Answer 3

She needs to report this employee to her Human Resources department. Businesses do no tolerate that kind of behavior. Your daughter's boss will be disciplined and possibly even fired. No one should have to tolerate such evil. I once had a manager who harassed me. I went to Human Resources to complain. My comment, along with other complaints, and a super high turn over of people in the department (out of 20 people who were working there when this manager started there, only 5 of us were still there 3 years later) resulted in the company pulling the manager out and assigning her to another department in a non-supervisory position

Answer 4

I have a man working for me that has your attitude. It's taken me about 6 years to prove to him that we are not all racist. He's taken offense at things I've said even though I meant nothing by them. You sense of racism is way too high. You see everything as a racist comment. I've introduced people much in the same way and it's laughed off as a joke which it is. You and your daughter are taking things way to seriously. I agree to not putting the chemicals in her hair. I love the look of an Afro and have wished that I had one in my past years. My employee is my good friend now. He knows that nothing is meant by these little things said as I know nothing is meant by his comments like "cracker" or even "white trash" which I really don't care for.

You both need to lighten up and get off the racist kick. It's not what you think.

Answer 5

You daughter, and everybody else who works, will often be the butt of comments or jokes which aren't very kind.
She has two choices. Deal with it, or find another job.
Tell her to roll with the punches, if she lets it be known this is getting under her skin, it will never end.

Answer 6

She shouldn't put up with that. NO boss should treat someone like that. I think she should quit and when she gets another job and they ask her why she quit. Have her tell them that they treated her like crap and called her there slave. Or she can do things to get fired.

Answer 7

I think first you have to explain to-her that the world is full of idiots and that is their problem, Not her's. There are legal remedies available to her and help is also available. The process is slow nd painful and she has to decide if it is worth it. Is it racism or just plain moronic behavior? By law she is entitled to many things. We all have to make decisions on where we want to fight. Take your time and think carefully and if you decide to go ahead come out swinging.

Answer 8

Wow. This is horrendous. I'm very sorry for what your daughter is going through.
Has she considered filing a lawsuit?
She should talk to a lawyer. This type of behavior is not usually tolerated in this day and age. This is harassment. She should keep written records of dates, times, what was said and by whom. Call a lawyer.

Answer 9

They should not be allowed to get away with that kind of treatment. Totally unacceptable- get a lawyer. She needs to start looking for another job too. It's unbelievable to me that people think they can get away with that crap and they will get away with it if you do nothing.

Answer 10

Document it all, if it keeps up, sue them.