My wife is divorced and after that she move to me and we have been married now for six years now. Once a year we live about a month close to her son and we meet with him as often as we can. He handle me very polite, but I can feel and actually even understand that he is looking at me as the guy who "stole" his mother from him and his father.
My problem is of course that I wonder if he will ever accept me, no matter how I act.
2007-11-10 03:21:56 · 13 answers · asked by Mr Innocent 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to tell the he is almost 27 years old
2007-11-10 03:41:23 · update #1
That's tough. Since you can't really make him accept you, I think the only thing you can do is treat your wife/his mother extremely well. If he knows she's happy, hopefully he'll come around!
2007-11-10 03:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by rrmorris45 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Maybe you should just ask him on how he feels about the situation and ask him what his feelings are. He might be confused and neglected. Many feelings are torn when there is a divorce and feelings get neglected. do not get pushy about wanting him to like you because he was pushed away from a different household. You do not know what happened in the divorce. REALLY. Just consider his feelings are to be the most important. Love your wife and treat her like a queen. And meet his needs and feelings everyday.
Be close to each other more than work. Maybe work was separating the family or communication factors. Have family meetings each night and talk to each other at dinner time with candles! Laugh too. go for walks after dinner.
Make sure he is involved with everything and do homework with him too.
good luck and give him a little space and privacy too.
Get a family counselor too.n You might need one just to talk about issues in case there are certain disagreements in the future so you can have a happy life and he can have his space and continue the relationship.
Keep in touch,
Mother of two age 35.
GODBLESS.
Joanne
2007-11-10 03:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a year for a month you live by her son and visit with him as often as you can.
If that is all the relationship you have with him then no wonder he has not warmed up to you yet.
It will probably take another 20 years for him to accept you as part of his mom`s family.
The older he gets, the more he will accept the fact that his mom is happy with you.
That may not make him feel better about growing up without her though.
Especially if dad had to work alot to make
sure they had all they needed and he was lonely.
As long as you accept him and make him feel at home when you are around him, that is all you can do.
2007-11-10 03:35:59 · answer #3 · answered by Blessed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is the same way with his mother's boyfriend of 15 years.
I think it's because there is no time that you take with the step-son to talk about things alone. Without mom. He doesn't know "you". He knows you as "mom's new husband". Makes a difference.
I have two sons from one "male" never married him. When I dated my husband my sons called him by his name of course and my oldest was very disrespectful to him. While still dating my husband took my sons out alone a lot & still does. Took 2 years into our marriage and now, my sons call him dad.
2007-11-10 04:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by N8TIVEHUNNIE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. He is probably still adapting to the change. He will eventually accept it. The distance between you has a lot to do with how long it is taking for him to adapt. Just give him time.
2007-11-10 03:27:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just continue to be supportive of him and showing your care and concern. He will, one day, grow up and realize what life is really about and be happy that his mother has found someone as you.
2007-11-10 03:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by pussycat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's gonna always act like that no matter what. all you can do is be as nice as you can so he has nothing bad to say about you, if he does then tell it to him straight about you and his mom and how her divorce was not your fault..
2007-11-10 03:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6 years if he hasn't warmed up to you by now, chances are he won't.
2007-11-10 03:26:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the guy that stole his mother , you are a coward and you are just getting what you deserve you werent crying about it then so why you being a punk now
2007-11-10 05:16:16 · answer #9 · answered by JWalker 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am dealing with my dads wife right now,and i have felt never emotionally connected to her. i dont want anything to do with her because she trys to hard to please me,I dont even consider her worthy enough to be called stepmom. Dont try to hard please your wife's son, I can see when someone is trying too hard. just be normal...and try calling him your stepson for a first, it lets him kno that you want to be affiliated with him. dont try buy him your love it only makes it worse, dont boss him around. let his mom and him have their connection don try to get between them let them have time together, i kno i would like that if my dads wife did that. let him kno that you know your not his real father and your not going to try to be, but you are going to be there for him wether he likes you or not.
2007-11-10 03:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by Tabbi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋