Is it unmanly/unmasculine for a man to stay home, watch the kids, and cook and clean?

Question

Women don't want to do it but it's okay if her husband does. Strange. A woman at my work doesn't want her husband to go back to work. She wants him at home, watching the kids and cooking and cleaning. My, how times have changed!!!

Answer 1

If a man was living by himself or was widowed or divorced, wouldn't he have to cook and clean and take care of kids? So what's the big deal if he does it when he is married or has a partner? I don't see it as manly or womanly, but a human thing to take care of your home and kids. Whoever wants to do it, should do it, regardless of gender.

Answer 2

Nope, not at all.....my husband does all those things well except for being tidy...he's a total slob, but he's a better cook and sometimes way more patient with the kids than I am. He is however, the primary wage earner (even though I have a college degree, his skill set is more valuable in the wage earning arena) so I usually take over those tasks, since I work part-time. This arrangement works for us, and over the years he has pitched in more and more as he sees how hard I work both for his small business and around the house.

What I do believe however is that some women might actually become resentful when they are the primary wage earners and their husbands get to stay home with the kids and they don't because they will feel resentful that they aren't bonding with the kids like Daddy is. Mostly however, I see people with this 'reversed' arrangement who make it work!

Answer 3

NO WAY,,I feel you should do whatever you feel is needed for the family ,,,If you are better at being a stay home dad or you have someone that has to work and their pay is better or schedule is better,,I feel it is best to do what is best for the whole family...Its your life,,,shouldn't matter what others think or say,,its how you feel,,,I think the one that takes care of the kids has the most rewarding job in the end.. It IS NOT an easy job,,I know I raised 4 kids and I will have the memories of all the little things that most will miss because of other duties...I think when my daugher has children,,she wants her husband to be the one to stay home,,,he is great with kids and him being at home will be more important than a stranger or preschool to watch them...GOOD LUCK the kids will be better off too....

Answer 4

My husband stays at home now and I think it is great. He enjoys it has the house clean, dinner ready and has played 18 holes of golf when I get home.
Times change as do the dynamics in a marriage and a person's ability to work. Why should society also be more flexible in allowing couples to make their own allowances to accomodate everyone.
This makes for a happier family unit including the children who learn that there are many different ways to do something and they can all be the right way.
Good way to teach tolerance as well.

Answer 5

Of course it isn't... in fact, washing dishes, cleaning the oven, sweeping the place up, mopping etc. can be VERY masculine. A good work-out let me tell you, if you never tried. Being self-sufficient is masculine. The lone wandering hero in westerns knows how to cook his meals and clean his clothes and live by himself off the wilderness. Oh, and being a good parent and spending time with your children is masculine.

HOWEVER, not having ambition is unmasculine. Letting others dictate your fate and not standing up for yourself and what you feel you should do, like in your example, is unmasculine. Being controlled and manipulated into going against your integrity is unmasculine. The husband should grow a spine.

Answer 6

That's interesting. Apparently she does believe that the work of the household is meaningless. That's really sad.

Would it bother me? Not really. In my own marriage, my husband just isn't very organized or good at running the household. He's great with the kids, but I think the fridge would constantly be empty and he'd be standing in front of a stack of dirty dishes every night wondering what needs to be done. He's just better at his own job, and I'm better at this job. It wouldn't work in our situation at all.

It sounds as though your friend has realized that the housework and childcare still have to be done, whether they thrill you or not. Since she obviously would appreciate having it done for her, doesn't she think that her husband might appreciate it, too? Or is that not part of the equation?

Answer 7

Not at all. If anything, he's brave. Society for the most part hasn't come to accept that idea at all yet.

Whether the people in a relationship want to both work or want to have one person stay at home, it's their choice. Who am I to tell them what's best for their relationship and family?

Answer 8

I find it very sexy myself. Someone who is willing to do some REAL work, not just bring home the bacon. A man who realizes what is important in life! Children, Family, directly Educating and caring for his children and his house, and letting his wife have the opportunity to get out there and be the breadwinner.

awesome stuff if they can do it and choose to take the experience.

Answer 9

Deciding who stays home to take care of kids depends on the specific situation. It is definately not unmanly.

Answer 10

Maybe he's better at it than she is. I think it would be very arousing to come home to a clean house and a man waiting for me.

I'm self employed in our home, but my hubby does all the housework. I take care of the car and the yard. I can tell you he is still all man, even with a dish towel in his hand.
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