What should I do????could someone help me out????IM CRYING,Really dont know what to do..Its urgent...?

Question

Help,I cant get a girl. The girls who I like, totally hate me or they're straight. I'M A GIRL BTW. So I like girls,But they don't like me. What should I do? WHY? It ain't my fault that Im Not straight,rite?
I mean,Did I choose to wake up one morning and say.."OH,I think I should be a lesbian"..No,Im just attracted to them. Im in the closet btw,No one knows..Im 19,For 10 years in the closet..Haven't told anyone that im a lesbian. I cry every night thinking that its impossible to achieve a girl. My parents or frends aint gonna accept me cuz they're homophobic. I dont know what to do...How did I live for 10 years? Im having trouble finding girls. There ain't much lesbians around my area.What should I do? Im just crying,now.. How do I get a girl?

Answer 1

You will find life in general and dating in particular much easier if you come out of the closet. You are repressing your very being and you will die inside this way.

Answer 2

I had a great answer for you but lost the website suddenly.
I had a heck of a time finding your question again.
ok..... number one. stop crying. You're an adult. Now you can make some of your own decisions.
Do you still live at home? Do you know for sure that your folks will or will not accept you? Have you tested the waters about any gay comments? Then how do you know?
Have you called the gay center yet. please do. Ask to speak to a gay friendly counselor. You need to make yourself feel better and stronger. How are you going to take on the world, starting with your family? You have to know, really know, that you are OK. You have to know that being gay is OK. You'll be fine. If you don't feel strong inside, positive about your true life, what do you have to offer a potential girlfriend?
Contact any gay orgs in the area. Check out PFLAG for support for yourself and your family. It's a great org.
Check out any women's groups in the area. Find something
that interests you. That way you'll meet other women with similar interests. Check out college gay/straight alliances too. The most important thing for you to do is make YOU feel good about yourself. Just be thankful you are old enough to make some changes. The last not like this I wrote was to a boy 14 years old.
In the meantime, check out some possible short term places to stay. I always tell my young gay friends that it's better to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Just incase your parents aren't so happy about your news, you might want to have a place to stay. They may come around and be supportive ......or not. But you need a roof over your head in the meantime. Be prepared. Maybe you can find a room to rent. Do not come out to your family until you have made some preparations. If the poop hits the fan, you'll want to get out of there fast. So be ready. Maybe have an older friend with you. Some families just don'r do well with the news. Remember that you took a long time to accept yourself, give them some time to deal with the news too. But while they are processing, have a safe place to go. OK?
My very best. HUGS. Feel free to write..

Answer 3

sweetie, you are in a dark spot right now, but things will get better! take some of the good advice that has been given you here.

nineteen is old enough to start living your own life. i understand that the support of your parents and the friends you have now would mean the world to you...but even if you do not get it from them, you do need to come out of the closet.

ease into things...check out what you can find online first...look at some gay/lesbian sites...find people to chat with...for friendship and support from the lesbian community.

then, yes...if it is at all possible, go to a large town...somewhere where there are colleges...check out the gay scene at the colleges, even if you are not enrolled...maybe check out some gay/lesbian clubs...nightclubs i mean. these are just a few suggestions.

you will find someone. it is not always easy, and it might not happen over night...but you will.

sitting around crying is not going to help you...and haven't you had enough of that? now come on, smile...you are at the beginning of what can be a wonderful time in your life! look at it that way and take the steps you need to, to start down that road.

hugs and best wishes,
waterlin

Answer 4

Well, first of all, it's hard to find other lesbians if no one knows you like women. Second of all, sounds like this is less of an issue of having a girlfriend and more of a need to come out. You don't have to say anything to your family until you're ready, but it sounds like you need some people to support you. If you're in college, there's usually a gay friendly group on most campuses. Search the internet for gay and lesbian centers in cities and towns near you. If you reach out to people you'll be more secure in yourself. Believe me honey, life outside of the closet is way better. Then, finding women won't be nearly so hard.
Coming out sucks sometimes, we've all been there. But you might also find that coming out is a lot easier than you ever imagined. Sometimes people that you never thought would accept you turn out to be wonderful. Just be brave, and even though it may get hard, everything else will fall into place. *hugs*

Answer 5

As a gay man who didn't come out until I was 29 years old - sister, I feel your pain - don't despair!

First of all - come out when you're ready - there are no laws about this - it is different for everybody.

Secondly - it is an old cliche - but works for everybody gay or straight - you usually find someone when you quit looking so hard; desperation is a real turn-off. People are attracted to the cool and the confident in general.

Finally - get involved - in school, at work, in civic groups, in volunteer work or charitable organizations - any activity that will help expose and introduce you to a wide range of people - most of the time, we meet people through "a friend of a friend", so the bigger our circle of acquaintances, the more chances to meet someone.

Answer 6

First off, you need to come out. You can't have a relationship when your life is a lie.

Second, move out from your parents place, if you haven't already.

Third, you're in college, or you should be at 19 years old. They should have a gay support group, or gay/straight alliance. You can meet people there who will accept you. There are also counselors at college who are very used to dealing with this.

Build confidence in yourself by becoming an independent and genuine person. Romance will follow.

Answer 7

You may not think of religion as a resource for you, but there are open minded, liberal religions out there too. I wonder if you have a Unitarian Universalist church in your area. It could prove to be a very supportive community for you. We are a compassionate and accepting group of people who welcome LGBT and anyone else who believes in our basic principles:
* The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
* Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
* Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
* A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
* The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
* The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
* Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

. If this interests you and you would like to learn more you can get info and support here:
http://www.uua.org/
I wish you peace and blessings my friend.

Answer 8

I'm a GM who always had the problem of only falling for straight guys, which is a lost cause and leads to heartbreak every time. So, you need to get yourself in a place where there will be a wide variety of GW's around. In small towns or backwards places you tend to only see the stereotypes. You should also get your own place so you can have your freedom. I don't think you have to come out to everybody in your family yet, but you do need to go out in the public and not hide away in your isolation. Whether you go to a bar or a discussion group or club is up to your persoal style, but you have to get out and mingle.
BUT, it's more important to BECOME the right person yourself than to FIND the right person, because no one person is going to fill all your needs, and if you quickly pick someone out of loneliness, you might make that person the center of your life and make her more important than you.
Don't give up yet, you won't be alone forever, but don't rush it because to hook up with the wrong person is much worse than being alone. Do all you can to make yourself stronger, smarter, and more stable and then who you pick will be better for you than who you would pick out of desperation.

Answer 9

First, you need to relax...time will take it's course, and if you tell you're family that you're gay, hopefully they'll accept you. Because you were part of them before they knew that and they should love you all the same.
To get a girl, try to find gay/lesbian bars, or move out of town to start anew.

Answer 10

You should let your parents know seriouly cause if you guys are a close family then they should accept you for who you are. With the you cant get a girl issue, have you ever tried metting someone off the internet? Try singles.com.au or even myspace.

Answer 11

Dearest Samantha G.,

I am a gay man who didn't come out until I was 27 years old.

I sincerely feel your pain. Please don't be sad Samantha.

Perhaps, you might try posting a Personals profile on Yahoo Personals or Match.com. --Thats what I did.

Samantha, don't worry, you will NOT be required to post your picture in your personals profile at Yahoo Personals or at Match.com.

--Big Hug,
Mauricio