I am 5 months pregnant and soooo excited .... I can't wait for the baby ....
But I have a problem ... tell me something, if the husbands are there at childbirth, are they actually allowed in the delivery room? Because I know my hubby will be there on that day, but I don't want him to be in the OT. I don't want anyone from my family there. I want to go through it alone and spend some time alone with my kid, before anyone see her/him. I guess I am being selfish.
Has anyone of you faced this emotion. How will I tell my husband?
2007-11-09 20:49:24 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I agree with jeeny b. EXACTLY THE SAME EMOTIONS HERE. I don't like the ' you can do it crap ' or that ' I am with u here '. It is my baby until it comes out, its NOT his. Besides, it is not EQUALLY his in anyway ... its three quarters mine, one quarter his.
God ... I think I am going through a mood swing right now.
2007-11-09 21:27:58 · update #1
I answered your question in the Parenting area. After reading your updates, I agree your wishes should be RESPECTED. I agree your FEELINGS should be VALIDATED. DO WHAT EVER *YOU* want. But I wouldn't be surprised if you're a single Mom within 2 years with that attitude.
*I* wouldn't let other's opinions irritate me so much, especially since *I* asked for them.
2007-11-09 22:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this your first child? I only ask that because I found my dear husband to be soooo much help when I was in labour and then each time I ended up in the operating room to have a C-Section. The baby is a part of him too and it might really hurt his feelings and perhaps your marriage too. I think most husbands are really good when it comes to labour and delivery, they can be a huge support. I found it a huge bonding experience with my husband, a really special time that we both look back on and say"wow"!
I suppose I don't understand how you are feeling but maybe you could try talking to him about it, maybe he doesn't want to be there either!
My hubby says that its so frustrating watching the one you love be in pain for so long and not be able to do anything about it to fix it!
In Australia we don't have the whole family waiting downstairs to come straight after the baby is born, they usally wait 2-3 days then come visit.
You could gently ask your husband is he keen to come or not. And how would he feel if you call him after youv'e had it?
TALK, TALK TALK is always the key to a good marriage!
All the best!
2007-11-10 04:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mumof4chn! 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can understand you position. It's your choice. You decide what's best for you. He isn't the one having to push that baby out. If you don't want him in there then tell him that you would rather do it alone. I'm an independent gal myself and my husband knows that this is my show not his. His part was done with 15 minutes after it started. I can't say that it won't piss off you husband and cause problems but it's your choice. I am definitely don't want anyone else in there. I am a private person and don't want other family members watching me with my legs in stir ups. I told my husband that he is to only stay by my head, no looking down town, to be quite, I hate that whole "you can do it crap" and only touch me if I ask him to. Like I said, we can "bond" together afterward, but during, this is my show. He should respect your wishes. I don't care what they say, it's your baby until it comes out, then it can be yours and his. Good luck. I am in the same situation.
2007-11-10 05:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know how you feel because I was desperate for my husband to be with me. K
BUT... If you feel that it would be better for him to be away from you during the birth you can inform the staff that you don't want him in the room and they will remove him. Physically if nessisary...
Of course I hope that you're going to talk to him about all this and explain why you want it this way but the final choice is up to you.
And don't listen to anyones B.S. about it being selfish or anything. You should be able to give birth in a safe and comfortable enviornment. If they don't like it, tough tootie! They aren't the ones giving birth!
2007-11-10 06:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by crystal_pepzi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS BY YOUR SELF!!!!!! You WILL need him!!! Your husband has the right to be there. No more than you do. Don't tell your husband what you just said. It will hurt him deeply. Once you're in labor you will feel differently. I had my partner,mum and 2 sisters in with me when my daughter was born. But I couldn't stand any one touching me at all. No even a rub on my back from my partner. I regret this, I feel like I left him out even know he was there. If you hell your husband you don't want him there, not only will it hurt him but you WILL regret it. It may even cause problems in your marriage, which you don't need with a new born. It will already be tested.
2007-11-10 05:18:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you manage to get your way and not allow your baby's father in the delivery room then i feel very sorry for him and the baby.
Your husband has sat for 9months waiting for this baby and felt pretty much useless the entirety of your pregnancy...but heck ITS YOUR BABY it got there all by itself...your husband had no role to play...
Get your own way and every time your baby is screaming in the middle of the night and you are desperate for some sleep and some time on your own i will applaud your husband for telling you to get your butt out of bed...
seems to me you want everything your own way...i feel sorry for the baby you are going to have...its mother is so selfish that her needs and wants come before her babies and her husbands...
2007-11-10 05:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
my partner was with with me all the way though both our girls being born.(we from uk).must admit he weren't brill but just knowing he was there was good it was always about me and the baby and has you hold your newborn the feeling that comes over is over whelming you get to spend loads of time with your baby and i do think that not having him there is selfish after all it is part of him too..i also felt amazing rush of love for my partner when we sat together looking at our newborn a feeling that i only ever had at the time of our girls birth..you will need the support let him be there!! good luck x
2007-11-10 05:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by xAxEx 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, this will not be what you want to hear, but you have no right to tell your husband that he cannot be in the delivery room. It took two people to conceive that baby and he should be able to enjoy that moment with his child. You will still get to hold the baby first and have a few minutes to regulate its breathing and temperature. Do not be so selfish!
2007-11-10 05:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by impnaughton 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I had my baby early so was on my own, alone firghtened and in pain. I would have loved to have had her dad with me.
It is your choice but put yourself in his shoes if it was the other way round how would you feel, have a think about it, its his baby too.
If you really don't want him there have a talk to him - he might be relieved you never know!
Good luck with the baby x
2007-11-10 05:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by lovelylittlemoo 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Excuse me, please. You do not have exclusive rights here. It takes two to make a baby. The birth of a child is also a milestone moment for the child's father. Yes, you are being selfish. Get over it.
2007-11-10 04:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by Richard B 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋