Why do feminists assume we would get bored with a woman that doesnt nag or argue incessantly and tries to?

Question

please the men in their lifes as good as she can, as long as they are returning the favour. Seriously its like saying Iam bored of all that peace and quite, give me a Stalingrad sized war and the latest HK toys.
Why do feminists think men dislike harmony in a relationship and what sort of woman would want a man that doesnt stick around unless she delivers all that drama and arguing ? Is it to delude themselfs that men like string assertive womyn ?

Gnu Sense while you have a point that problem fix itself since the party who doesnt experience his/her love beeing reciprocal stops trying with the other party eithier alerted and reacting to the problem or not responding leading to the break up of the relationship.

Answer 1

I know what you mean about what you are saying. I'm concidered by many who do not really know me to be a submissive house/farm wife. Some of the "submissive" part is spawned simply because my husband and I have a wonderful and loving relationship. I'm actually fiercly independant, though not of the love, quality, commitment, and companionship of my marriage.

I do not speak ill of my husband in public, nor nag him. We are in love, so are loving towards each other, even in public (holding hands, smiling at each other, quick kisses, generally wanting to be near each other). I do not like to listen to women who complain about their husbands CONSTANTLY in public. Many women seem to have the need to do this, to make themselves important, or to be seen as "fitting in" with other women.

I rarely get along with women with strong feminist views. Other posters were correct...feminism IS about equal rights. I'm sorry, but I've never viewed men and women as being equal. There's no two ways about it, men and women are biologically different. I do not feel it is normal, nor healthy for relationships to try and make men and women equal in all things, nor do I believe they should do all the same jobs.

Women should of course have the right to vote, own property, have health care, and divorce if needed, just as men should. They should also recieve equal pay for mental based jobs, but NOT physical based jobs (unless they can FULLY do the job). Frankly, men are stronger, and better able to do certain jobs. I want to have only big young strapping firefighter MEN coming to rescue me in a house fire. I don't want a woman who just squeeked by on the physical test.

Feminist often assume since I'm a stay home wife, I sit about watching soap operas, and have a noodle for a brain. We actually canncled the cable TV, since we almost never turn it on. I also usually read a book a day, since I am an avid and fast reader. The only books I do NOT read are romance books. Todays book is on locust plagues that we use to have in the U.S.

Feminist seem to think that unless women have the interaction of peers and co-workers women cannot possibly develop a brain, nor a thought in their head.

They feel women who take pride in homemaking skills like cooking are wasting their time, and brainwashed. I often wonder how they find it easier to go to work, usually for an employer and the employers rules/time schedule, and then stuff themselves with convience garbage foods, since they are too tired to cook. I can cook totally from scratch, right down to butchering the animal, and grinding the wheat into flour for bread, and make wonderful healthy meals. I also save tons of money doing this.

Feminist see no value in homemaking skills. Yet I see homemaking skills as a way to achieve the perfect balance and harmony in my marriage. My husband does the "boy" things, like fixing the trucks, tractors, cars, and putting up fenceline, ect.. I do the "girl" things, like cooking, caring for livestock, keeping of the home, quilting, ect.


I find that most feminist have not been taught the skills needed to be a sucessful keeper of the home (this is SO much more than housecleaning!). People tend to fear what they do not know/understand. It is much easier for them to make fun of and put down women they see as submissive housewives. It is a way of covering their own lack of knowledge, and fears.

On the flip side of this, very few men now-days are being given the skills/knowledge/teaching on how to be a good husband/father/provider, ect.

The liberal based media has TV show, after show that portrays men as rather bumbling idiots, who must be lead about by strong women, or their lives would collapse. They can get a few cheap laughs this way. But woe unto the show that tries to portray a woman as a bumbling idiot, being lead about by a man.

Very few feminist are taught you can be a strong assertive woman, without being a strident "B" word, and trying to assertive yourself with a loud, or condicending voice.

Very few feminist accept the idea that you can embrace, and enjoy the natural differences in male/female personalities and yet still maintain your feminist views. They strongly feel they must convert everyone to being equal. Well men and women are NOT the same, and we have to learn to enjoy and understand those differences, to achive true harmony between the sexes.

If "it" will not matter in 5 years, then "it" is most certainly not worth fighting about. People would have better/happier marriages if they kept that in mind.

~Garnet
Homesteading/Farming over 20 years

Reply to RoVale's posting:

I picked cooking as just one thing submissive/homemaking women are often put down for. Some of the best chefs in the world are actually men. I happen to enjoy cooking very much, and do the lions share. My husband however certainly helps me with the butchering of the animals, and often bar-b-q's for us in the summer. We have achieved a nice harmony in our marriage just as it sounds like you have.

I too do a lot of repairs of ALL kinds (since we live on a farm) because my husbands job can sometimes take him away from home for a month or more at a time. We also live in a very rural area. Independance is a must. Homemaking chores certainly DO include MUCH more than cooking and cleaning...especially here on a farm.

My husband was gone for the entire month of February this year. We live in the high mountain desert area. It didn't get above negative 20 the entire time he was gone. I kept our driveway plowed with our tractors, as well as our neighbors. It was also the month that most of our 100 does dropped their kids. It was an exsausting month for me running newborn kids into the house, and placing them in front of the wood stove to warm, and then running them back out to mothers before they forgot they had babies. Not to mention keeping water troughs thawed, and electric fences running as snow began to drift. Most women wouldn't dream of working as hard as I do, nor would they be physically capable (heck most men wouldn't do what I do).

That's not the point. Relationships can be divided up so everything works for both parties, male and female. I know a gal in an openly dominant/submissive relationship. She is the submissive one....yet she does all the "man's work" outside with mowing the law, and caring for the garden. Her dominant husband has serrious allergies. It works well for them, and makes both of them happy.

I was raised to be a "lady" by my father. Yet I was also expect NOT to be helpless, and to have certain skills. I was taught how to change a tire on a car when I was 9 years old.

I think boys should be taught how to do laundry and how to cook. Girls should be taught basic car care, and how to handle a gun.

Yet I firmly believe women should be free to choose their rolls when they become adults. THAT is what feminism is about...having choices....and NOT being put down for them, if the woman chooses more traditional rolls. I have men that react to me with shock, and sometimes slightly off comments when I tag along to go skeet shooting, or go fishing (bait my own hook too!). They have never known me outside of my baking abilities, and seeing me with a craft project in my lap. I get the same reaction from some "liberated feminist" women when I talk about a really great recipe, or a quilt I'm working on.

People need to look at the whole person, and how they balance their life and relationships. Are they happy and sucessful? Then they are doing something right, even if it's not traditional. Things do not have to be equal between the sexes to be happy and harmonious.

Answer 2

Bohemian, I do have homemaking skills. I know how to keep the yard well-maintained, fix leaky faucets, install electical appliances, and otherwise do other home maintenance chores. I just don't know how to cook. My husband does that. Feminism is about having choices, not only doing certain chores simply because they are considered the appropriate ones for my gender. My husband appreciates having a wife who can repair a loose door herself instead of nagging him to do it. He also likes how I can do yardwork because he really can't stand doing it and I like that he does the cooking and loves it because I've always thought cooking was boring. The point I'm trying to make is that household chores should include more than just cooking and cleaning for women and more than doing household repairs for men. I do take pride in my homemaking skills. My house is well-maintained and in good repair.

Answer 3

I agree in a general sense, not towards feminists directly, as there are different people who seem to be skillful at nagging, feminists and non.
I find it bothersome myself when people are adamantly trying to prove that they are "right" on matters of different opinions, I prefer to find a common ground or agree to disagree.
Either one believes that he/she is right, so to persistently continue going back and forth would prove to be futile.
I don't do well with drama and/or bickering from either women or men, and think that one can certainly be assertive without incessant arguing.

Edit: Wow, great answers!

Answer 4

I think feminists like the unmarried "thing" or whatever she goes by are afraid of the opposite. They tell themselves that a woman who serves her family happily is either:
mentally ill
really, really dumb,
or
her husband will cheat on her.

They HAVE TO tell themselves that, because they want reasurrance that "real" relationships with bright women require acting like a shrew. The idea that they could expect more of themselves, and have a better relationship for it, makes them unhappy. They don't want to go the extra mile for a guy, so they justify it, saying that wives who "serve" really lose in the end.

You know what? My husband doesn't even WANT to go out without me. I actually encourage him to go out with his coworkers once in a while. He feels great around me and doesn't want to "get away from" me. I feel the same way about him. If only they knew what they were missing!

Answer 5

People of both sexes who try to be thoughtful and considerate and to act from love and from principle instead of needing to negotiate over every little thing get taken for granted. It's not about male female. It's about the fact that people who treat others decently all too often find themselves treated without any thought or appreciation.

Answer 6

Amen, Gnu, the more I know you the more I like you.

I doubt it's purposeful.
It's a vicous cycle and who knows where it begins.

someone's pulling away or taking your for granted, you try to talk about it, it escalates, and on and on and on...

Answer 7

I think you misunderstand feminism. It is about equal rights for women. It has nothing to do with picking fights with your spouse/partner or nagging.

Answer 8

This is ignorant. Feminism is not about arguing or trying to displease someone. It is about a woman's rights, and that is an entirely different thing.

Answer 9

feminists , they want cake , they want to eat it , .. I believe in fairness and equal rights , but by doing the equality , the fear of getting wrong is hard to , you used to be able to help an old over the road , you used to be able to help a lady with her shopping , but now if you hold a ladies hand after a car accident to get her out of the vehicle , she can get you on sexual assalt , which is fine , but in these actions , fear takes over from assisting people