I know its an immature question but it feels like it! My parents have been divorced since I was 3( 35 now) and my dad has never really been part of our lives. When we were kids we would spend 1 month every summer with him but that stopped when Iwas 17. Most recently he has been Emailing and calling my brother and not me. He lives in another state and has never come here to visit he told my sisterin law that he is afraid my mom will have him arrested for back child support. I want a relationship with him but why wont he visit or send me a stupid bday card.
2007-11-09 17:16:38 · 9 answers · asked by carmen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your father is not a dad. He doesn't know you, or even try to make the attempt to know you.
My brother is the type of dad you are describing. He has 5 children. He knows the birthday of only one child, and doesn't know where the other 4 live. He's a horrible person that has made horrible mistakes that he has to live with for the rest of his life.
Why do you want a relationship with this man? Do you think there will be a fairy tale ending? I guarantee that there wont. He is making excuses to not see you. Please don't think it's your fault. In actuality, it's his loss.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-11-09 17:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was 18 months. My father never sent child support, never called, never sent a letter or card. I grew up thinking I wasn't good enough for him. When I was 18 I found him, I went to visit him and I found out why my mother divorced him. From 18 to 27 I only saw him 2 times and only talked to him on the phone a handful of times. Then in 2005 at age 50 he passed away. I never had the chance to ask him why I wasn't good enough. If I had the chance again I would write call or visit him and ask why, what made me so un desirable as a child, person that he couldn't have cared. You still have this chance before its too late do it. I have had to do so much soul searching since has been gone. I went back to the small town he grew up in to find out about his childhood to find out more about him. And I found it it was never me it was always him. The pastor from the small itty bitty chuch he grew up in told me that when our parents know better they do better. I feel for you.
Oh by the way from what I have learned you mother can't have your father arrest (unless it major back child support and there is already a warrant out for his arrest) all she can do it go to a child support agency and they take action to start getting some of the child support.
Best of luck
2007-11-10 07:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by peppermintpc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way this is not a imature question, I mean who doesnt want the love and attention from a father? But you must let it go! You cant make him pay attention to you, and who knows what his reasons are and whatever they are it really doesnt matter, what matters is that you begin moving on with your life, do you have your own kids? If so, then love being a father to them as they are whats important. Let me be blunt, lots of us grow up without a father or even a mother but we dig deep and find other people to fill in the gap, my dad was never in my life as a child and you know what? thats ok because I have other wonderful people who I know love me, and I do hope that you will soon be at peace with the fact that maybe he will never come around, you must man-up to the facts.
2007-11-10 01:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you are going to resolve this issue, is to talk to your Dad! Write him a letter about how you feel, ask him why he never contacts you. I can understand the hurt you are feeling. Don't wait til it's too late or you'll never know why, and will always wonder.
There were things I wish I'd asked my Dad, but it's too late now! It isn't too late for you, don't put it off any longer! Maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move. He could be feeling that you don't want anything to do with him. Since you are his son, you know, like father like son. Break the cycle! Call or write him now!
2007-11-10 01:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by Gramms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be afraid of that very thing. Your mom doesn't even have to report him actually.
My dad tried to come back into our (my sister, brothers and mine) lives several years ago, but was served with papers for court and told that he would most likely be serving jail time for the many years he didn't pay...
He took off soon after that.
I know he loves all of us and I have come to an inner peace with the fact that he is not around.
Why not try to move the first stone yourself and go to him?
I know it is hard, but you will not regret it no matter what the outcome, I promise.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Good Luck!
2007-11-10 01:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually in divorces, the father tends to have a stronger bond with their son. He's probably just hesitant with you because of your gender, as ridiculous as that sounds(Testosterone and pride is all that is!) :) As hard as it is, try not to think of it as hatred. Just fear. Also, try to get in contact with him and talk about it.
2007-11-10 07:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No men some times relate to boys more so than girls,this does not mean he doesn't love & care for you.Call him or e-mail him tell exactly whats in your heart
2007-11-14 01:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by Amy c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write to him and tell him everything you told us and ask him if he hates you.That should melt his heart.If it dont nothing will.
2007-11-10 01:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner never sends me birthday cards or calls me but doesnt mean he doesnt love me he doesnt remember dates!
My partner sometimes calls my friends who are his friends gfs to talk as friends that doesnt mean he doesnt love me it means they are friends.
This is about my partner even after this if i know my partner loves me & he says he loves me then thats all it matters
2007-11-10 01:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by aangelhasbrowneyez 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋