My boyfriend of four years and I have been doing really well lately. But for the past little while, we've been bickering. Last night he was so frustrated he left for an hour to cool down, and tonight he left. He says I'm being controlling, I say I need certain things from our relationship (ie. equality in household chores, affection, support). So how do I communicate what I need without being a nagging b!t(h? I love him and he loves me, we just can't seem to get a few things straight, which is what I think is holding us up. When I try to talk he doesn't want to hear it. He just doesn't really talk, unless he's already upset, then it doesn't make a ton of sense. He is a wonderful person, and I think we make a good team - I just want to get some of the kinks ironed out before it becomes too much bickering and we lose each other.
2007-11-09 16:57:18 · 17 answers · asked by oj 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it sounds like you really want to make it work... Him too!! That's a good thing!! Relationships are hard work!! Both people gotta be putting into it regularly and sometimes it gets hard... Sometimes you lose, sometimes he loses... compromise... easier said than done... sometimes I feel like giving up too!! It seems like both of you want to work it out, tho!!! key word... WORK.... good luck to you!! :)
2007-11-09 17:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by A W 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey I feel ya. Me and my bf have been together 3.5 years. And we argue about the most ridiculous things! He drives me INSANE, but I truly can't live without him. And I've come to find that it is good that we have little disagreements and bicker, rather than huge problems. Just talk calmly. Sit down and give each other a turn without any interruptions. Say you just want to straighten things out so you can move past them and be happy again. Just tell him you love him and can't lose him over something so small. Love is precious and hard to come by when it's real. So save yours if it's right. Good Luck hun:-)
2007-11-10 01:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sit him down on the carpet (naked may be good) face each other, and have the understanding that you are to be talking, there is nothing to hide from each other. He may not be willing then go on the points he made when he got mad, infact let him get mad and hear him out, stay calm and wait for him to calm down (he is going nowhere) then bring up your set of issues. Iron this thing out now and as it arrises , or break up, its that simple.
2007-11-10 00:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by pcd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are stupid and he is trying to get away. Get out while you can. He is exploring the avenues thru which he may get more info, you are stuck. If you spend time bickering, you need to spend time time looking for the reasons you want to be together.
I would say it's tme to look at your reasons for staying.
Or the time to call it good!
2007-11-10 01:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by john_r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women all ways tend to complain about there needs. If it's not one thing their is always another. That's why guys try to nip it in the bud before it gets to ridiculous. Go with the flow and stop making meaningless things bigger then then they are. It just give us a headache.
2007-11-10 01:31:56 · answer #5 · answered by BZCranium 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre probably not going to liek this, but I'll say it anyway-- the second word says it all BOYFRIEND. This one lack of action on his (and maybe your) part is at the core of where these little issues aree coming from. Is he that commitied to you if he can just walk at any time?
2007-11-10 02:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are busy telling him what you need but do you consider what he needs? If it conflicts with what you want, is he automatically rejected?
Maybe your needs are different and losing each other may be the best option.
2007-11-10 01:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well he is just a b/f not your husband so you do not have the right to expect anything but maybe flowers, dinner and a movie, thats it.
"I love you" ,sex and shacking up is NOT a commitment, "I DO" is.All you can do is suggest counseling.
2007-11-10 01:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it. bickering happens. if youre serious about it and maybe thinking marriage then alittle bickering wont hurt especially if you really love him.(maybe you should get off his jock)
2007-11-10 01:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
deary, u 2 hav come 2 nothe rstage of ur luv life....
compromise n kep n open mind....dats how couples shold learn 2 live 2gether n progress....realtionships ned 2 u noe....
sooner or later it will hav 2 come 2 tis....in evry relationships....
2007-11-10 01:03:22 · answer #10 · answered by coffee_tea_or 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋