Though he is affected in a way he always ends up just sulking, while i look for solutions. what should i do to make him help?
2007-11-09 16:45:23 · 19 answers · asked by mix32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IT's hard, because my wife is the same way, I look for solutions, and she just used to sulk........which sucked, because I wanted to help both my wife and our situation.
All I can say is, be positive, and reinforce that it takes one day at a time............Reinforce that you need support to, my wife finally realized I was upset and worried about our situation so she stopped sulking and is now supportive, we are supportive to each other.
Good for you for wanting to help!
2007-11-09 16:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband has gave up already and decided that his family will be in debt forever. The solutions you come up with are probably absurd and so far out in his way of thinking that he just sees things as hopeless and clams up. Of course this does not solve anything and only makes things worse. I really believe you need an unpaid third party to help the two of you set up a budget, agree on it and abide by it. You did not mention sources of income but it might be necessary for you to get a job or for your husband to get an additional part time job if you haven`t already. Sacrifices will have to be made if you wish to remain as a family. Unfortunately the problem you have is very common in our society and probably could use more attention and help from the state or federal governments. You may not have reached the critical stage yet since you are still on the inter net. Good luck to you and old sulky.
2007-11-10 01:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Un-couth 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down together and make a plan. It will give you two something concrete to judge your progress by.
1. Create a budget.
2. Make a list of "must haves" and "wants", cut out most of the wants for now.
3. Come up with ways to pay off any dept starting with the highest interest rates first.
4. Look for hidden money suckers. Do you drive an SUV that eats a lot of gas? Do you eat out a lot/buy your lunch at work when you could eat in/bring your lunch from home? Is your home insulated properly to cut energy costs? Things of this nature.
5. If you still aren't making it look for better paying jobs/2nd jobs.
6. INVEST in assets instead of luxuries. An asset is anything that causes your money to work for you instead of having to work for all your money. Things such as rental properties, royalties, stocks and funds, etc.
7. Consult a trained professional before taking advice you find in yahoo answers as I'm just giving suggestions and not financial advice.
2007-11-10 00:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
make him a part of the solution, have him cut the coupons as a deal... and YOU will do the shoping. it will make him feel good that hes helping. and he'll want to help more.
next time make him look out for the cheepest gas station around to save on gas money. he'll feel good again, and feel apart of the solution.THEN get bigger to the real things and always complaiment him on the little stuff, he'll want to amaze you. you have to treat men like children, they want to pout when things dont go there way, but when they are rewarded with praise and happines
they will astonish you.
2007-11-10 00:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider how you communicate with him
Men will never respond to a nag. Use 'I' language=- such as "I need you to make me feel more secure by helping prepare some financial solutions".
I undestand that seom,tiimes you can feel overwhelmed- but I know that we can work together...
The 'I' language focuses on placating your wants and needs and appeals on primial levels.
Trust me- it works. I'm an employer and I can get the job done without ever raising my voice or bullying. Just communicate effectively.
2007-11-10 00:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't spend money on stuff you don't need. Do you enjoy taking care of your finances? I pay all bills and take care of grocery money. Basically, I give him a financial update every week so he knows where we stand. In the meantime, I take care of everything. Number one thing you need to do: START right now putting money aside for emergency cash. DO NOT TOUCH IT! It will grow and only use it in case of real emergency. Hide it from him even if you have to.
2007-11-10 01:37:35 · answer #6 · answered by Milla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
budget your money together so that both of you knows where you both stand and be able to help each other. sulking iwll never give you additional income so better use that time in a productive way
2007-11-10 01:09:51 · answer #7 · answered by silly me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is the #1 thing married people fight about. My husband also is super nice when money is good and when we are in a slump, he is a jerk. You need to just do what you need to do to for yourself and your family, and don't go out of your way trying to make him feel better. Your not helping him by catering to his immaturity, I would ignore him.
2007-11-10 00:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little example...My husband works hard, but only brings home about $638.00/bi weekly...in other words...$16460.00/month.
We have four girls to support plus mortgage and utilities...
We don't have all of the amenities, but we live pretty comfortably...
This is considered way below the poverty level, if we can work it out, so can you...there are many ways to live off of barely any money.
2007-11-10 01:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make a budget proposals and both of you will suggests which one to follow. Better to stick on your income.
2014-10-29 09:26:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋