my husband of 12 yrs up and walked out on me and our 4 kids almost 3-months ago and he has been a total asshole to us! Now he is playing mind games by saying he loves me then he's not sure he says he wants to come home then he don't he wants freedom so he says but i believe its another/several females to claim as the reason! On the 3rd nite of his leaving i caught him at womans home that i have had suspisions about before! When i busted him there he stumbled over his tongue and came up with the excuse he was "just there taking a shower" ok he was suppose to be staying with his mom who lives 5 min away from this woman makes no sense! I pushed my way inside and went into a bedroom where a light was on and found his clothes and belongings in there! He became pissed and grabbed me threw me against the wall cursing me and name calln! He proceeded to grab my arm and yanked /pulled me to the front door telln me it wasn't my f***kn house and to get the F*** out! He said he didnt like her 4yrs?
2007-11-09 16:37:38 · 9 answers · asked by dianne n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time to get yourself a divorce lawyer, a restraining order, a job. Do not let him play mind games with you anymore. You're better off without him. The kids will miss their dad but they will eventually understand. Good luck.
2007-11-09 17:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by Codys mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If, for some reason my husband left and I had nothing, I would do what my mother did in the same situation...Hold it together for my kids, offer them guidance and love and reassurance. I would go out and find a way to provide for them and give them the best life I could with what I had.
My husband and I have too much respect for each other and too much love for our children to ever come to this point, though so it is a moot point.
What I wouldn't do is put any pressure on him for money. The only thing I would keep on him about is spending time with his girls. It is all about the kids, and any disagreements we have, it's not their fault...
Good Luck, I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
2007-11-10 00:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by Star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, him and my husband have very much in common...
No, seriously though, my situation is similar, except he left me after almost 3.5 years of marriage while I was pregnant with our second child! And headaches and heartaches is not all he's given me...(been separated for almost 6 mos now)
Well, what do you want to do?
In my opinion, I think (as hard as it may be) you should try to forget about him and focus on you and your children right now. They NEED you to be the strong one, they are looking up to you and depending on you! Daddy is being selfish right now. It took me months to finally start beginning to realize I had to keep it together for the kids' sake. And I'm making moves, big, positive moves that right now I know has my husband thinking "what is she really up to?"
Make a life for yourself and your kids. If you don't want to divorce him, then just start focusing on you and the kids. Get help from family, friends, the state, church, etc. File for child support NOW.
12 years is a pretty long time nowadays to be married. Has he been doing this for a long time?
What I do recommend (and this is from experience) don't contact him, don't chase him, don't go after him. Let him contact you. And if you do want to have sex please, PLEASE make him wear a condom. But don't let him treat you like a doormat! He can't come and go when he pleases! It's time to show some tough love.
But remember, you have to do to what you have to do FOR THE KIDS.
2007-11-10 01:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by beautyforashes81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he did those violent things to you, did the lightbulb in your head go on? He sounds like he wants to "sow his oats".
I don't tolerate that kind of behavior from any man! Do what you want about it. Staying married just means that legally he can spend his money any way he wants. He obviously doesn't have morals or he would have kept to the marriage vows. Divorce or legal separation will at least get you some money coming in (if he pays) and stops you from being responsible for any debts he creates after the judgement.
Just my two cents worth.
2007-11-10 00:48:46 · answer #4 · answered by peggy m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The exact same thing happened to me after an 11 yr relationship w/ my ex. He's playing games with you because he's trying to figure out which woman he wants to be with. if she decides to dump him, will he still be able to get back in with you? You and your kids are better off w/o him. Do you have family and friends to help you out? My ex left me w/ a 1 1/2 yr old and I was pregnant too. Then he cleared the bank accounts, bought his new gf a ring, and left me with the joint credit card debts. 4 yrs later, I'm doing just fine! You can do better and you deserve better. Get a GOOD lawyer, it'll cost you, but in the long run, you want someone who'll stick it to him. Karma, dear, karma....
2007-11-10 00:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by WordsWorth_01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is so not worth it and you are letting your anger (that i do not blame you for what so ever) get the best of you. she sounds like a S L U T ! how nice mom takes him in to allow him to be a whore.sounds like a bunch of poor raised lames to me.if she was any kind of mom(which she is NOT) she would not allow him to stay there unless you all where there because of a fire or so on...
seek help for yourself and the kids counseling for all and get in a single parent support group and vent away.you are not alone.
let some one else deal with his no good a s s.
please don't give in to him he is a bad father and husband.better yourself.Gâ¥â¥D LUCK
2007-11-10 01:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating on you. I would apply for assistance and get a divorce. I cannot think much of a man that would do this to his own children or to his wife.
2007-11-10 03:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, he does sound like an asshole.
Take his as$ to the cleaners.....file for a divorce, and child support immediately.
2007-11-10 00:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. GTO 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would think that he's a total jackass.....a person that would just walk away from his family is a moron !!
i hope your life becomes better =) good luck
2007-11-10 00:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by HeavenlyBliss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋