About single moms?

Question

I am a single mom of two small boys. Recently, single and was married when I had my kids. It hasn't been very long since my husband left. Is there a time period I should wait before hopping back in?

I'm not looking for a relationship - just want someone to spend some time with casually and we'll see how it goes. No promises just mom needs some adult male company. Wouldn't necessarily expose the kids to it either - would have them at my parents or a sitters when together.

Is it bad for me to feel this way? Or, is it normal?

Definately not a relationship. I'm not ready for any strings just company. Someone to laugh with, hangout with and cook for...very very casual.

LOL - finding one would be the real problem ;)

Answer 1

you know, it's actiually alot easier then it sounds. i started dating immediately after seperating.
i just wanted something casual. just some normal single fun. never brought any of the guys home or around my kids. never even showed pictures of my kids. it wasn't until i dated this one guy for a whole year before i started bringing my kids with us on dates (his request by the way). then when my husband and i actually got serious, i started having my kids with him almost everyday. it's your rules, make them as you feel comfortable.
you are not a bad person for wanting to move on. it's okay and will be.

Answer 2

Good for you. Just because you want to talk, laugh, and share good moments with a male friend, doesn't mean that you'll be neglecting your children, and doesn't make you a bad mother, either. It is perfectly normal and healthy for you to have a life, besides just taking care of your two boys. Disregard any stupid, negative comment. Nobody's going to give you any medals or awards for staying home and taking care of your boys for the rest of your life...or until they grow up, find a girlfriend and live their own lives. Who, then, are you going to share your life with? I say it's a matter of choice. If you choose to be by yourself, no men in your life but your boys, and you think you'll be happy this way, go ahead, do it. But, if you choose to have a companion and you meet someone who is trustworthy, respects you and your sons, and maybe has the potential to be a good father figure, why would you deny yourself the opportunity to be happy? Why do you need the approval of people who don't know you? Only you know what's really best for you and you kids. Be a happy mother and teach your kids that being happy is NOT a bad thing. Just make sure you always give them all the attention and love they need. Being an unhappy woman, a "martyr", a mother who is always nagging, frustrated, clingy, needy, and alone...now this IS bad AND sad.

Answer 3

Yes it does appear to be normal. I was lonely after my first divorce and got involved with someone much too quickly. I can say that now years later. What I didn't know at the time was that I just wanted to feel close to someone, a friend would have been a much better choice. When I needed to focus on my children I was too involved in trying to fix everything in an adult relationship that wasn't working out but I tried to hang on. We all ended up suffering.......thus, the reason for the common "take it slow" advice you will get. I can say from experience that I really should have waited. I just wish I would have known it at the time when it went from friendship to more in a matter of just months. I was just so lonely.

Answer 4

I am feeling the same way. Divorced with two small boys also. The problem is most men either want a serious relationship or just sex. Not too many who just want a companion but I too would like someone to spend time with. Absolutely nothing wrong with your feelings, we are divorced.....There is no set time period just when you feel ready. It takes time to get over a break up so don't hop back in too fast but then don't wait forever either......If you feel ready you are.....good luck! I am not looking forward to dating...lol

Answer 5

This is normal. Adults need adult companionship whether it be conversation, a night away from the kids, or a roll in the hay to relieve tension. Do not involve the kids with the flavor of the week or month. They should meet Mr. Right when you find him but not Mr. Right Now. Have fun, happy orgasms, and be safe!

Answer 6

I think it's normal and the longer you wait the harder it is to get back into the real world of dating(yuck) The longer you wait the simpler it is to put it off and think well I can do that later.I've been completely alone and celibate now for over 4 years so it's to late for an old man like me but try and get out there to just have some fun.Good luck.

Answer 7

I was a single mom with 2 small boys. I lived on my own, I worked, the dad was not around,no child support, nothing. I met my husband and fell in love.

You are a mom, but you are still a woman. You still want and need attention from adults, especially a man. You need to be smart, be careful.

Answer 8

Lady ! What you feel is normal. Many women have gone through the divorce or separation bit. If you are divorced, why not seek some male companionship. You have a life. If separation is involved discretion has to be used a bit more diligent .My mother and dad separated when I was six. They never divorced and Mom was discrete with her relationships.

Answer 9

If the divorced papers are signed you are free of any sort of guilt. As long as you take it slow and dont rush things remember its been awhile .And learn to laugh agian . It will be ok and no your boys arent going to be tramatized as long as your open and an adult about it .What hurt me growing up was not my parents moving on but them leaveing me out and fighting over me .So relaxe and enjoy life . And remember kids are always smarter than we give them credit for .

Answer 10

If your totally over your husband then any time is a good time. I personally am a bit wary of separated men as I prefer them to be over their ex's and ready to move on and not just decide to go back to their wives. I think that it's better to just seek out companionship as you don't need a heavy r/ship at this stage.