Ok. I have asked friends and even my husband, who all give me different answers, so here I am. I have an ex that would still call me and text me, and it wasnt just a hello. It was "send me pics" "I miss you" and other sexual things. I thought about replying honestly and then I found out he is getting married! Just happen to be that some girlfriends that I work with are talking to him and sending him nude pics and emailing him and texting him, and all this time he is getting married. I dont know his fiance, but I know who she is. I know he is a player (when I was dating him I had no idea that he had a girlfriend) He actually just text me 3 days ago and hes getting married tomorrow! Some of my friends (that arent sleeping with him) tell me to tell his fiance. Others tell me its none of my business. What would you do?
2007-11-09 16:16:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PLUS, yes my husband gets very upset, AND he wants to be the one to tell the fiance everything. But of course I wont let him. I have TONS of evidence. Emails, pictures and the other girls KNOW hes getting married. But his story changes. 1 minute hes totally in love with her. The next hes calling and texting anyone for a booty call. I have never met or seen the fiance, I just know her name and seen her picture. Even his buddies know, im sure of it. That however, I dont have proof of.
2007-11-09 16:36:22 · update #1
She deserves to know the truth.....but she won't believe you. If you tell her, you'll come across as the Ex who wants him back, or you just want to ruin what he has so he'll be miserable. I think some other woman should tell her, and then she'll still marry him, because she has her blinders on. Later on in life, when she sees the real him, she'll look back and realize what a two-timing slime ball he is, and she'll feel stupid for not believing everyone, but at least she was told. Did he happen to send naked photos to any of these girls? Perhaps they could show the proof. Or, they could all go to the wedding and stand up together and announce they had all slept with him recently. That might be too much over the top, but this poor girl might thank them later. Acutally, I think sometimes we as women are stupid. We see what we want to see. I once married a total A**hole, and everyone I knew tried to warn me before I got married, and I told them he had changed, and he was different now, etc. etc. Well, 6 months after we got married, I divorced him. Just took that long to see past the rose colored glasses. Like I said, we see what we want to see and we just assume we can change them afterwards. Eventually we wake up and kick them to the curb! :-)
2007-11-09 16:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by hrcarr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I like to look at things in a common sense way....so with this I ask myself, would I like to know something I don't about the person I'm going to marry that may cause me to be in a messed up situation for a long time...the answer I came up with is YES.... I absolutely think that the woman has a right to now what she is getting involved with. If someone were to come up to you before getting married and said these things to you about your future husband.... of course you would be upset, but eventually you would come to realize that the person telling you this was only trying to help you. All you can do is let the person make up their own mind, but they should have more than a good idea of what they are getting into.
2007-11-09 16:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her. What if it were happening to you.
Wouldn't you want to know what type of man your about to
get married to. Love does not mean looking for it with anyone
and having a wife to be. This guy is a piece of work. Listen
to your husband and do something right away, go to the
wedding if you have to and bring the proof. This may seem
extreme right now, but put yourself in her shoes. Do it.
2007-11-09 17:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by boxmaker40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to send her an anonimous letter asking her to talk to (the "friends" that he is having sex with) about him. You were in that place, would you have wanted to know? She deserves to know before she marries him and THEN if she wants to still marry him that is up to her. You make no reference to him and him being bad doing wrong, just let her know that he has been sleeping with 1, 2, 3 ... different women while he was dating her a getting ready to marry her. She deserves to know.
2007-11-09 16:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself: Would you want someone to tell you?
Personally, I think you'd be doing this poor girl a big favor. But you'd have to be armed with all the evidence or she'll think you're just trying to cause trouble.
It isn't any of your business, per se, but this guy is horrible and he is about to ruin a woman's life by marrying her without any intention of being faithful.
On the other hand, maybe knowing what you know, maybe you DO have an obligation to warn her.
Would YOU want to know? I would. It would ruin my day, but better that then to ruin my life.
2007-11-09 16:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by hope03 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he doesn't respect you so why respect him if you are invited to the wedding when the priest ask does anyone have a reason why this two shouldn't get married speak up or talk to his fiancee before the wedding it would be good to take some proof.
2007-11-09 16:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not any ethical remember in contact right here. you're his EX and his movements at the instant are not any extra any company of yours in any respect. the only ethical incorrect is the undeniable fact which you spied on his laptop mail it incredibly is disgusting and could have been so whether you have been nevertheless jointly. give up using Karma as an excuse to take your nasty, vindictive revenge - boost up and study that throwing your toys out of the pram only considering which you haven't any longer have been given what you like (i think of you do nevertheless want him or why could you nevertheless be taking any activity in any respect) is stupid and infantile. save your nostril out.
2016-11-11 00:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is very sad that this man has no respect for his self and his new wife to be. Nor did he respect you. I would stay as far as I could away from this man and I don't feel like it's your place to inform his soon to be wife of his behavior. Trust me. she probally would just think that your being jealous and that you want him back anyway. So I think it's really Best that you stay out of his life from here on out. Don't talk to him and don't talk about him at work either. It'd best for you since you already know how he is. so you'll be better off to leave him alone and his new life also. When someone at works talks about him then say you don't want to hear it and go on. I hope this helps you out some. God Bless You.
2007-11-09 16:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would let her know. He ruined your life with him. If you have a chance to help another women not find herslf in the same predictament as you were. It may not be your business but he shouldn't be texting you or calling you. He seems like a stalker. Your husband doestn't mind him? I find that weird.
2007-11-09 16:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by littleme836 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her and I think your thinking the same thing because more than likely he isn't done doing those things and you are probably not the only one. She really needs to know put yourself in her shoes why find out after the wedding when it will probably come out and then all that is do and its harder to go back.
2007-11-09 16:22:44 · answer #10 · answered by G girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋