My husband makes me feel like I want to be 10 ft. under. When I try to talk about it, he shrugs me off and tells me to go away. That makes it so much worse, how do I cope, without being pathetic?
2007-11-09 14:53:31 · 28 answers · asked by unsureofme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your don't cope!
Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse as it's every lasting.
You need to leave this A** Hole now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-09 14:58:06 · answer #1 · answered by Nana Butterfly 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Mental abuse can be present in the form of shouted insults, demeaning comments, or willful neglect. I watched a movie once where a man did nothing for his wife but expected her to do everything for him. He had only one car which meant that she had to find a way to do all the errands he demanded she be responsible for. She didn’t eat in his presence, but had to wait until he left. Through it all, she believed that he loved her because she had a roof over her head.
When a person is constantly under mental attack, the strain of it begins to show. The person abused may begin to abuse others. She can’t lash out at home so she vents her frustrations on others. The abuse could make her feel ashamed enough to only go out when she needs to. Her self-confidence is all but nonexistent at this point.
The only way that she can be freed is to seek counseling. A professional can explain that she is not a worthless person but one that has been systematically torn down by her spouse. Staying silent is not helping the abuser or keeping the marriage healthy. It’s only a matter of time before his rage escalates into physical violence. Admitting the abuse and getting treated can save both your lives.
2007-11-09 15:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is mental abuse. If he really loves you then he wouldn't make you feel that way. I really don't know everything, but I do know that my ex boyfriend use to make me feel that way and that is why he is an ex. You are not pathetic. As far as how to cope, you shouldn't have to. I think the best thing will be for you to get help to let you know you aren't the one that is wrong and you shouldn't feel like you are. Always feel good about yourself
2007-11-09 15:02:03 · answer #3 · answered by davesangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a survivor of domestic abuse I got it from both sides. physical and mental. It is not OK for someone to put you down, or treat you like trash. Women's shelters not only care for domestic abused (physical) women they are there for mental abused women to. Grant it married couples fight..and they say things to hurt each other but if this is happening when there is no fighting...you are going to have to look inside and make a decision do I stay or do I go.. Only you can change the situation for you...beleave me I know...It took me 3 yrs to listen to the advice I just gave you...but I'm glad I did or I wouldn't be here to give this advice.. I hope this helps.
2007-11-09 15:12:31 · answer #4 · answered by clueless_2018 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked two questions...is it abuse? and how do I cope?
Sometimes we take on the emotions when the other person is being themself. Like maybe they had a bad day and just want to be by themself. And we should not be pulled into their bad day. How can you cope? Well you could not be emotional or not take it to heart.
Mental abuse is when another persom berates or belittles you, bullies you, uses bad words at you and calls you names, says mean things to you (that make you think you're as low as an ant) over and over, tears you down so you're so weak that you can't get up again mentally. Usually that mental abuse leads to physical abuse like rape, beating up the person, blocking the doors and ways out of the house, tearing the phone out of the wall, or even little things like if you made them a nice meal and they threw it on the floor and made you clean it up. Now if it's that kind of abuse you'd best document your injuries, get out of the house (leave him), and divorce the guy.
2007-11-09 15:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by sophieb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is any attempt to purposefully hurt or belittle or condescend to your spouse, physically, emotionally, anything. You need to have a backbone, and say I do not like being treated like this, if he still wants to be a jerk, then he has a serious problem. He will have no respect for you if you allow him to do this and be helpless to him. We all say things we do not mean when we are angry occasionally, but should be mature and grown up enough to recognize that and apologize and try to do better. If you do not stand up for yourself now, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of being treated as an inferior individual, and it truly becomes your fault for not putting your foot down. I walked away from a situation like this, and I have held fierce to my absolute decision never to be treated like that again. My husband now is very respectful and knows when he has crossed the line he better make it right or I will put his toothbrush in the toilet when he is at work. And I treat him the same way, I always try to be thoughtful of his needs and respect his self esteem and never say anything to make him feel bad about himself. If he EVER dismissed me and told me to go away......I sure as #$% would, in about ten seconds. I would expect him to do the same. My answer is to not worry if he dismisses you when you try to talk to him, he probably knows it is rude but it is easy because he knows you will not persist. If you tell him it is unacceptable, at least he has been warned, and sees that you are becoming more vigilant about the way he treats you, maybe he will hesitate to do it if he knows he is going to get a TON of crap in return. Do not make it easy for him. What a jerk.
2007-11-09 15:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by lisa kay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try approaching the subject in a way that won't get him too defensive. Say something like:
"I'm sure you don't realize you do this, but sometimes I feel like you don't care what I have to say and it really upsets me. I know you wouldn't do that on purpose, bud do you think you could make an effort to catch yourself when you're shrugging me off and doing things that make me feel that way?"
2007-11-09 14:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by lwa519 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mental abuse is far worse than physical abuse. Love is not supposed to hurt. A bruise on the body will - in time - go away. A bruise on the soul will last forever. Rescue your soul . Leave.
2007-11-09 14:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by Just Hazel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are insulted, tormented, belittled, harrassed, humiliated, cursed, or made to feel low self esteem. If you are angered or hurt, this is abuse. If you are controlled, abuse. Anything that denies you the quality of life you deserve and choose is abuse. If YOU feel you are abused, you are and only you can stop it. Try counseling and if this doesnt work, ask yourself this.... Do I want to be treated this way for the rest of my life? Choose accordingly, this is your life, not youe spouse. The choices you make in life will define the quality of life you hane. Good luck!
2007-11-09 15:03:58 · answer #9 · answered by PinkIce7734 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mental Abuse is domeone that puts you down and makes you feel like you are nothing. I rarely advise this but I would go to a good lawyer because he is telling you to go away when you try to talk to him.. that is not showing any love at all or any concern for your feelings.
2007-11-09 14:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by bella s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional abuse is when one person whittles away at another's self esteem. Constant put downs, controlling, manipulative behavior. If your husband makes you wish you were dead as I'm thinking that is what you meant by 10 feet under, I would say he is doing a good job and emotionally abusing you. Words can hurt as mightily as a fist.
2007-11-09 15:14:17 · answer #11 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋