Okay I do not hate my husbands exgirlfriend/mother of his other 2 kids (we have one together). I just dont care about her at all. LIke her house is not in the best shape. I am concerned for the kids but I dont feel sorry for her not even a little bit. I never feel sorry for her tha she is a single mom of my husbands 2 kids plus trhe baby she has now with another man. (they are not together). She always seems sad that on holidays my husband is with me and our (his and our son) kids not her and i dont ever feel the least bit sympathy. I didnt even feel sorry for her when she found out she has a hernia in her stomach. Usually I am a very loving person. I know its his ex but why do i feel so cold hearted toward her? its like if someone says "Pam isnt feeling good today because of whatever" I'm like who gives a f***. whats wrong with me and why am I like this toward this woman even though i have no actual animosity toward her? Its like I want to care and like her but I just cant why?
2007-11-09 14:46:03 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are jealous and bitter over the fact that your husband cared for her before. You have to get over that cause the only one you are hurting with that hating is yourself. Just know your man is with you and not her. You have a man who cares about you so you could be big enough to let that bitterness go. It's not good for anyone.
2007-11-09 14:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by didderjiddit 3 · 4⤊ 3⤋
No, you don't hate her but I think you are jealous and haven't put a handle on it so you can deal with it. What is really sad is you dislike her because she knew your husband before you and by being cold to her, you are hurting innocent children who had nothing to do with all this. You are also setting a bad example for your kids by having such a bad attitude and as they get older, they will learn to be unfair just like their mother.
So put yourself in her shoes. If you were the ex, wouldn't you be sad if your kids didn't get to spend time with their dad? I can guarantee you will feel much better about the whole situation if you learn to put your jealousy aside and open doors and be friends.
It doesn't mean you have to socialize with her but you can be friendly and encouraging and you can and SHOULD be accepting those children into your lives. They are still your husbands kids, which you knew when you married him, and you cannot change that and those kids should in no way be pushed aside by YOU, like they don't exist.
BTW, I am in no way saying your husband should be going to her place without you. That would only open doors to possible infidelity and the best way to avoid that is to not put ourselves in those kind of situations in the first place. All of you can either go there and share time with them and take all of them gifts or you can invite them to your place. If you don't do it on christmas day, you can always do it the day before and make it a yearly family gathering where all of you can watch the kids open their gifts and share a nice meal together.
You won't find peace until you find and give love to others.
2007-11-09 15:26:19 · answer #2 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that deep down inside you really don't like her....is there some information that you are not sharing. Is she rude to you, does she yell at your husband, does your husband have to give her a lot of child support? In a situation like this I would guess there are many issues that could hinder how you feel about this woman and cause you to become cold hearted towards her. I would have to say there are some emotions in there for you to just be so cold. I don't know.
2007-11-09 14:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by Ca 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not normal and you are being hateful for no reason. No animosity toward her? You bash her in every other sentence! Maybe you are jealous of what they use to have and feeling that way is a total waste of time. Beware dumping on the mother of your husbands children because it can come back to bite you.
2007-11-09 14:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by bella s 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's called nesting....being protective of someone you are in love with. It is a primal thing. However, I really hope that you learn to live with it and learn to be happy about the fact that your honey has two additional little people with her to share with you. i admit it is a hard thing to swallow...however I think once you realize that she is there to stay, because of the children and if she doesn't try to eliminate you from the picture by using crazy tactics that one day you will realize that we all have a past, some things we bring with us and some we can leave behind. He can't help the fact that he has children with her now...he loves you and is probably very grateful that you came along...know this, stand tall and be happy. Don't let yourself become spiritual sick over it, it is nothing.
2007-11-09 15:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very human to have no feeling for people you see as beneath you. History is full of this.
Did the Roman Emperor care about the man being killed by the lion? NO
Did Hitler secretly care about the Jews that were exterminated? NO
Do you feel bad about stepping on a spider or roach? Probably not.
My guess is you consider her to be lower than yourself and therefore you have no feelings for her at all.
2007-11-09 15:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
flow suck an egg. we could consistently not be the international's policeman or the international's medical expert. there'll in no way come a time whilst the waiting record for transplants could have greater foreigners in line than electorate. we are choosing up the tab, so who're YOU to dictate what's real and what's incorrect? i'm not prepared to pay for a Saudi terrorist to have a taxpayer-paid coronary heart transplant collectively as an American dies for the shortcoming of one. Make your very own policies on your very own united states, not ours.
2016-09-28 22:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to like somone you just have to treat everyone like a real person. Your a real person and you would want the same if the shoe was on the other foot. You can love everyone and not be friends with them. Dont look back on all the bad things that have happened cause you cant see foward and you will trip.
2007-11-09 15:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by A.T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because its your mans ex.
I dont like mine either and i can even manage a simple hello, without straining myself to much.
There are just some people in life, the sight of them makes me want to punch them.
I do have many friends and am usually a nice person as well, i just cant like everyone!
Personality clash maybe??? Who knows!!
2007-11-09 14:53:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but I guess it has more to do with your husband. I feel that you missed out on a big part of his life. You probably know that is what he and she shared. Knowing that he is now with you is good. After a few years maybe you will feel better about this. Actually you know it's not her fault you want him all to yourself.
2007-11-09 14:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋