My husband and I got married and moved 8 hours from my hometown a year ago. I miss my family at home soooo terribly much. We just opened a business here (in our new location), and on top of doing all of that, I teach dance at night and am going to school. I am miserable with my husband, away from my family, and I'm so stressed out. Should I drop everything and just leave? I don't know what to do, but I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life unhappy.
2007-11-09 14:32:59 · 33 answers · asked by Jenny L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Who agreed to "for better or for worse" with this man? Yep. It was you.
All you need to do is read other people's questions on here to find out your "for worse" is a picnic.
Also keep in mind, that you will ultimately be judged not on the commitments you make, but rather the commitments you will keep.
Good luck. I will pray for your husband.
2007-11-09 14:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Have you been back to visit your family? If not, then do so asap. You are homesick, of course you are miserable. Just because you got married and moved away does not mean that you give up your family. Your husband should understand this. Do you love your husband? If so, then work out the problems you are having. The first couple of years in a new marriage are the toughest. Hang in there and go home for a visit at least 2 or 3 times a year.
2007-11-09 14:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie May 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You moved with your family, not away from it. You need some perspective in my opinion.
When I was young and married to my first wife, I was in the military and lived about 6-7 hours from our hometown. Life was pretty good for us, but the wife always wanted to live closer to her parents as she was an only child. We moved back after my enlistment was over. Life went on for several years until she decided that she needed to live her own life, be her own person, etc. What I did not know was that all of her frustrations were being played out with her parents and not me. As a result, all of her frustrations got directed at me. I truly believe that had we not moved back home that we would likely still be married. The point of my story is that just believing that life will be better under a given set of circumstances does not make it so.
You made a commitment and now you want to change the rules. I'm guessing that you are fairly young. Believe me that being 8 hours away is much better than it could be. I have a son, daughter-in-law and three grand children that live 2,500 miles away. You can make the trip over a three day week end.
2007-11-09 15:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Randy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, basically, you're a newlywed, it's a big adjustment from being a daughter to becoming a wife. It's kind of a slow process, but you're both now. You're also part of a team, an adult, stress is always going to be a part of your life now, its something you figure out how to deal with yourself and lean on your husband.
When I got married, I was living over 900 miles away from my family and it was hard those first 5 years, but with visiting my parents every year or a few times a year and the time I've spent becoming a part of a team, it's easier.
Time to cut those apron strings, you're not a little girl anymore.
2007-11-09 15:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya! I live with my boyfriend we just moved here about 2 years ago away from our family and friends. He has made a good group of friends and as for me all the friends I have here are so far up their boyfriends/husbands butts that I am left alone a lot! So I am not so happy either. My boyfriend doesn't understand me. He doesn't do anything for me anymore, he's too busy with his own life! Part of me wants to move back with my family but theirs another part of me that loves him so much and feels that that this relationship is worth fighting for. I have my good and bad days. I joined a gym and I am also looking to get in some groups like bible studies and so on. So my advice to you is to try to look at things different and maybe a new light will shine! If all else fails be honest with him and tell him how you are feeling...maybe you all can work something out! Please feel free to hit me up!
2007-11-09 14:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty76 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You got married to start a "new" life. This is your new life. You can't leave because you miss your family, are miserable or stressed. What u are going through is what marriages are made of. You should focus on making your marriage work instead of what you don't have or where u aren't.
It'll get better. It will. Just "FOCUS" on both of your lives together and do everything in your power to stay w/your husband. Even if the marriage was a "mistake" you need to stick w/it. It'll make u stronger for the future.
Good luck
2007-11-09 14:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by zeezahs 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've gone through alot of changes in a short period of time. I think you would feel better about your husband if you could ease your stress. Talk to your hubby. Maybe it's time to move closer to your family. Can you sell and restart your business closer to home? It's hard to be away from loved ones.
2007-11-09 15:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by Apple Tart 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're really stressed out. On top of getting married (very stressful) you moved (very stressful) and started a new job (very stressful). Oh, and you're going to school while working (very stressful).
You might want to focus on reducing stress to a manageable level before making any more life altering decisions. In the end, the things that matter most are health and relationships - do whatever it takes to preserve those.
How to reduce stress? Divide and conquer. Make a list of the biggest things that stress you out, and then break each one of them down and handle them piece by piece. Maybe your husband could support you while you focus on school, for example? Maybe you could quit school? What would make your husband happy?
2007-11-09 14:42:32 · answer #8 · answered by tallhunk1977 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Should I leave my husband?
2014-12-18 13:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes leave him, he deserves better!
Having you complain about your man and not seeking out or learning how to improve the situation, only confirms it ALL about you!
You'd be doing everyone a favor, just move on and spend your life searching for that imaginary dream.
2007-11-09 14:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by Nana Butterfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you told your husband how you feel? That should be your first step. And moving itself is one of the most sressful things you can do, on top of it you have a new business and are in school. Were you happy with him before the move? If you love him and want to be with him talk to him and then try to find good things in your new enviroment. You are probably just stressed out. You should consider all your options before you just get up and walk out.
2007-11-09 14:40:08 · answer #11 · answered by lizzy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋