My guy wants me to do thing sexually that I do not want to do. He tells me if I want to marry him (knowing he is a good man) I should submit to him. What does that have to do with us getting married?
2007-11-09 14:30:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's not a good man if he's trying to pressure you into having sex with him. If he was a good man then he would wait until you are ready. If he keeps on he's disrespecting your wishes. But don't worry there are plenty of other fish in the sea if this doesn't work out with you too. Marriage is also about compromise and if he can't do it he's not worth crying or sweating over. Besides when you marry it's when you love someone and you want to spend your whole life with them. This is why some marriages never work because their is always someone trying to control the other.
2007-11-09 14:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by sabriabloom106 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you need to ask complete strangers about marrying this guy or not, then you should not marry him. It does not matter if you are married or not, you only "do" the things that you are comfortable with. I have never asked my wife to do anything that she was not cool with.
I am reminded of a story that a female friend of mine told me once though. She said that she noticed a cold-sore on her mother's lip and told her "Well, no oral sex for you for a while." Her mother replied, "Now you know that your father and I don't go in for any of that kinky stuff."
The point being that it is all a matter of perspective. If he is talking about something that most women would find offensive or unusual then that is one thing. If it is something that very few would think was odd, then maybe you might consider having a few drinks and playing along. Depends on you!
As a last thought, I hope that he was kidding. Otherwise.......
2007-11-09 15:45:42 · answer #2 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before one thinks of getting married, you have to have a
great relationship. You should agree on everything about
sex and understand eachothers needs. It does not sound
like he understands yours. Some women don't like to do
certain things, and later in life that may or may not change.
Everyone is different. Some people have sick desires and
others are more on track. I would not consider getting
married. That would be settling for something your not
willing to do. Cause sex is part of marriage. Also consider
that if you do get married and you don't do what he wants
in bed, he may find it else where, and then where will you be.
I would put off the wedding until your sure he can accept you
for you.
2007-11-09 17:23:26 · answer #3 · answered by boxmaker40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should not marry you just because you do sexual things for him. He should marry you because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he loves you. It seems a little strange that he is almost giving you an ultimatum. We don't know what kind of man he is besides this, so you are better off talking to him about this and telling him how you truly feel. Good luck
2007-11-09 14:40:54 · answer #4 · answered by dresh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing, and don't marry him. That submissive crap is just that crap. Women, don't have to have sex just b/c the husband wants too. He's not a good man to try to pull that tired, old, 1960's line on you. I'd keep moving and find a really nice guy.
2007-11-09 14:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well. i can see this going ether way. Cuz on one hand im a firm believer of ill do what ever you want (sexually) cuz i love you and its just sex. But on the other hand you shouldn't feel forced to do anything. its my choice to be the way i am and my husband wouldn't mind if i told him im uncomfortable with something. So... i would go with my gut. He's not ready for a marriage. you both are going to have to meet half way with things and it doesnt seem like he is willing to do that. i wouldn't.
2007-11-09 15:21:29 · answer #6 · answered by shannon m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have to do something which you don't want to do... so i suppose that, if your guy is hinting you need to SUBMIT to him after marriage, he means it.
He sounds like a control freak to me, and any man who'd force a woman to do something which she doesn't want to do, is just a pig.
2007-11-09 14:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask on here, you should not be getting married. No matter the question.
2007-11-09 15:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man that wants you to "submit to him" is NOT a good man.
Please do not marry him.
2007-11-09 16:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by chienduciel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him! If he is like this now it will be a thousand times worse when you are married.
2007-11-09 15:12:55 · answer #10 · answered by bella s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋