My husband has 2 young kids with his ex girlfriend and we have a 2 year old son together also. Well my mother in law has a relationship with all the mothers of her grandkids including his ex although they never married (she still calls her "daughter in law" along with me and my brother in laws wife). Anyway she still has the ex's picture on the wall along with a picture of my hubsand and her together...right beside OUR pics together. My husband and I tried to be subtle by only taking the one of them together down first when she wasnt around but she just put it back up without saying anything. How can I/he/we nicely ask her to take the pictures down without offending her?
2007-11-09 14:17:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know its her house but it really makes me feel disrespected especially since we got married.
2007-11-09 14:18:18 · update #1
I don't think you should say anything to her about it. As a mother-in-law, I personally would not do that (have a picture of an ex on the wall). But then, none of my children have had children with their exes. That's where the difference is. This ex is the mother of her grandchildren, and it might be that she wants all her grandchildren to know that their mothers are special. Think about how you would feel if you were a child-- and your mother's picture was thrown out or hidden away just because your parents got divorced. In a way, I think your mother-in-law is being very sweet, to consider how these children would feel. If you try to consider that point of view, maybe it won't bother you so much. As long as you have the man... why worry about pictures on the old woman's wall?
2007-11-09 14:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's only a picture, not the end of the world. If you don't like it, stop looking at it. It is her house, she has a right to put anything on her walls that she wants to. Be grateful that she has a good relationship with both mothers of her grandchildren. That could be a different story. No matter how you ask her to take them down, you will be offending her. Do you really want to risk that? Stop dwelling on the petty and be thankful for what you do have.
2007-11-09 14:31:06 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie May 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so upset over a picture? So what she is the mother of her grandchild and as you said has a relationship and has a picture of you as well. This is not about you. You are married to her son. Get over the picture and move on with your life. Did you ever think that her other grandson appreciates the fact that there is a picture of his mom up in his grandmothers house.
2007-11-13 05:18:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got that right. It's her house and she can put up whatever she wants to. You and your husband taking the picture down is disrespectful. Instead of stressing over the pictures, why don't you work on befriending your mother-in-law? That will solve all the problems.
2007-11-10 07:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she is your MIL. You offend her by being married to her son. I told my son that I did not want him to ever get married as I would not be a MIL because I cannot believe what lengths those insane women will go to to ruin their sons marriages. I cover the pic up of my husbands sons mom that is on the fridge of her and his son, I put a magnet over her face every time I am there. I have nothing against her though, have not met her as she still hates my husband. I do it because of my MIL, I know childish but it is a small possibly wicked pleasure and I wont stop. My picture is not up there though, she did her best to get her son to leave me last week. it was close. I am still wondering if it is worth it.......but it breaks my heart right now to think of not working it out with him..........I can mend a broken heart though but I will go to prison if she keeps it up.
2007-11-10 14:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by scsspace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would politely ask her to draw the line at pictures of the ex with the kids being okay, but pics of just the ex and your husband together as being too far. tell her that you know it is silly (I don't think it is silly personally because I would be upset too.. but you are trying to convince her, not yourself) to be upset by something like a picture, but that for some reason it does. It makes you feel like you aren't important in the family. But in the end, it is her house and she can do what she wants. If she does decide to leave the pics up, I hope you won't let it ruin your whole relationship with her.
2007-11-09 14:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hm. That is really awkward. From the one side, if she takes it down and the ex comes in the house, she will feel disrespected (after all she is the mother of your in-law-mum grandchildren). So, if you don't live in that house, you can't really tell her what to do. I, in your shoes, would feel bad too, but come on, its just a picture. Its not like the ex is threatening you or sth. Just accept her as a mother of ur hubby's kid, not as a person you need to dislike by default....
2007-11-09 14:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Even though I understand that it is "uncomfortable" for you, the ex is the mother of 2 of his children and the MIL still has a relationship with her and therefore may also think of her as family still. Honestly you have no right to ask her to take the picture down. As you said it is her home. If it bothers you that much just dont go to her house but in noway is she under any obligation to you.
2007-11-09 14:31:31 · answer #8 · answered by bella s 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can't ask her to take the pictures down without offending her
Your mother in law has the right to feel affection for anyone she chooses, and it's rather refreshing to think she isn't one to hold a grudge, or throw away a picture. The ex is the mother of her grandchild, and like it or not, she probably LIKES the girl... It's not a crime.
I think you are being immature and jealous -- selfish too. You are probably a very nice person, but you are also trying to dictate what your mother in law does... NOT a good idea...
I see no reason a photograph should upset your life... i really don't.
2007-11-09 14:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Without offending her? Probably not. You tried taking it down and she put it back up- obviously she wants it up. She must feel very strongly about wanting all her grandchildren's parents to be treated the same.
Personally I would just ignore it. You can ask her and be prepared for the fireworks that may follow, or you can just ignore it too. Since she does have pictures of you up too so in her mind she is not trying to be disrespectful of you.
2007-11-09 14:23:39 · answer #10 · answered by looneybin90 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋