If had to choose between Mommy & Daddy, do a majority of children choose Mommy?

Question

Is it true children are in general more attached to their mothers than fathers? if so, does this mean men are less emotional?

Answer 1

I can only answer from my own perspective, so that's obviously not very helpful. When my parents were getting divorced, I was 12 and was asked who I wanted to live with. I wanted to go with my dad because I felt he was more stable and I felt safest with him. The only reason I chose my mom was because I felt it would hurt her more if I chose him.

I will say I find it ironic even in this day and age that women are saying to men, "the realm of the workforce is for us too" while many are simultaneously saying, "the realm of the child-rearing is for us only." I've seen new mothers who are possessive over their children and don't even trust their husbands to care for the baby, correcting and disapproving of his methods. They send the unspoken message that he is not a good enough nurturer and that only mommy is good enough. The men who were initially in awe of their baby find themselves standing outside the nursery feeling dejected and unfit while the "natural" parent takes over.

Answer 2

I depends, but in general it makes sense for younger children to be more attached to the mother simply because she is the mother and would have more of a maternal connection after carrying the baby for nine months, etc.

Older children may start to become attached to the father; hes still a parent but not SO motherly.

Of course it depends on the house hold, who the child takes after in the personality department, age and reason for them to have to choose.

And no, it does not mean men are less emotional.

Answer 3

I was always a Daddy's girl.... but then, my Daddy was an at-home Dad, and very nurturing. So I'm not sure if I'm going to be much help for your question, since my Mom is the logical one in our family. But I love them both dearly, and never really thought of them as "breaking the mold of gender" or anything, LOL.

I will note that many studies have found that even tiny babies prefer mother over father when injured or upset. Daddy is best for playtime, Mommy for kissing boo-boos.

Answer 4

Depends on a lot of factors: personalities of the parents and children, sometimes it depends on who took care of the kids more, but more importantly, I think it matters who made sure they created emotional relationships with their kids, and the coping skills of the parents.

In my case, and my brother's, we would have chosen to live with my mom, because she was less messed up than my dad. But she wasn't a perfect parent, just not as bad. My brothers spend more time with my mom, but I don't spend time with either parent, if I can help it.

On the other hand, I know quite a few men who were great parents, made sure they had good emotional relationships with their children, and their kids still communicate with them, and do the minimum with their moms. As a adults, sometimes you actually like one parent more than the other. Other times, it depends on who drives you less crazy, and that turns out to be the parent you want to be with.

Answer 5

I am a daddys girl, he as shown just as much emotions towards me just in a different softer way then my mom.
But if i considered they amount they were the same.
But the difference was how one person dealt with the situation versus the other.

Answer 6

starting to be up with 2 mommies could be very large for me,in spite of the undeniable fact that i wouldnt be responsive to which one i could like greater. residing with a mommie and a daddie may be the wonderful. My mommies could in all probability ruin me greater and coach me a thank you to prepare dinner,be a woman,and have lots of followers. adult adult males wouldnt understand me.

Answer 7

I have two daughters. If my husband and I were to split, I think one girl would choose her father and the other would choose me. My older daughter is a real daddy's girl and their personalities mesh well together. They are so much alike.

Answer 8

It depends on how the household is. Most times, children get more attached to their mothers because the mothers are the ones who usually nurse, nurture, feed, etc.

Answer 9

It is a reflection of the fact that mothers - still today - remain the primary care givers. Mothers tend to spend more time with their kids than do fathers. Children instinctively turn to the parent who does most of the 'consoling' and boo-boo kissing. Men are no less emotional than are women: this myth was beaten to death decades ago. Anyway, degree of 'emotionality' has nothing to do with anything. Turning to mommy first becomes a deeply ingrained habit for the child. You can be pretty sure where mom is most of the time - she's likely to be cooking supper - on her own - again - just like she does every night at this same time. And dad...hey, where is dad anyway? Anybody seen dad?

It's just that simple.

Answer 10

I would say yes, to your first question. My husband decided he wanted to be single after 25.5 years. Our children were grown, but my sons consider where I live home (although neither of us kept the family home). Infact we both moved hundreds of miles from where we lived (opposite directions of course). I'm the one they call with news and for advice.

I was totally shocked at something my youngest son said last fathers' day when I asked if he had called his dad yet. He said 'the guys and I were talking about dads last night. They were all complaining about theirs being deadbeat dads, I said mine wasn't but as far as him being around for me now, he might as well be dead.' And this man did his share of hands on child care- but apparently something was missing.