Should people share all their monetary assets together once they get married?

Question

Why or why not? If not because 40% marriages end in divorce, would you be more inclined as time went on? Say after 5, 10, 15, 20 years together?

Answer 1

A "this is mine and that is yours" mentality increases the odds of becoming one of that 40% (50% in some places).

How can you trust someone enough to marry them, but not enough to share whatever you have or acquire with him/her? Why not just live together in that case?

The only exception would be a later-in-life marriage where there are older children who you must consider in terms of inheritance. Then, perhaps the family home or something might already be slated to go to the kids.

If one is a terrible money manager, it is possible for the other to manage all the assets and give that one an allowance. Done all the time.

Answer 2

People get married for various reasons other than the traditional one, which happerns to be because they are in love with one another and have formed a secred bond of trust, one to the other, and have decided to formalize the matter. You didn't state why you got married. You started in, immediately, on the bank account and money matters. Why did you get married to this guy? Did you and your husband discuss these matters prior to marriage? If not, why not? If what you are saying is true, it appears your husband doesn't even trust you with the checkbook or, for all intents and purposes, anything else. Oh! And, now you also think he is trying to control you. I'd say you have your husband, and your situation, finally figured out, Pixie. You are, for lack of a better definition, a slave. Since you asked what do I think about it, I'll tell you. All you have to do about this situation now, Pixie, is decide what you are going to do about the situation. I suggest you have a little talk with your husband and explain "exactly" what's on you mind, express your true feelings on the matter, and how you think things should be. If he is unwilling to make necessary changes, or at least reasonable concessions, starting immediately, then, if I was in your place, I'd get a divorce, complete with child support, ASAP, and then I'd get a job. And, the next time around, set the ground rules before getting married. Remember, marriage is supposed to be an "equal" partnership, regardless of who's the bread winner. No disrespect intended Pixie, but I probably spend more time deciding the pros and cons of what to eat for my evening meal tonight than you spent deciding who to marry. If what you say is true, you obviously didn't take the time to learn much about the guy you married, before you married him---you are just now figuring all this out? Pixie, I sincerely wish for you the very best of everything---that you get things worked out---and that you have a happy marriage.

Answer 3

Well, I think that you have to just jump right in and trust completely. If you hold back to protect yourself, you're setting your own destiny. There is no reason why a housewife can't insist on putting both names on the 401k. I'm a big fan of REAL marriage, not, "Let's see if this will work" marriage.

So far, so good, and I hear after 7 years together, our chances of divorce decrease by 50%. I would never regret sharing my whole self, my whole life, my whole checkbook with my dearest love. He is my other half, not just some guy I kinda like to be around. You get out of marriage what you put into it.

EDIT: I do think that the answer to your question matters heavily on whether or not this is a FIRST marriage. It may not be prudent to do so in second or third marriages, particularly when children are involved. It depends on lots of different factors, I suppose.

Answer 4

Depends on the couple-like others have said, some people can't manage money very well. I like the mine, yours, and ours financial "pots" where you put all the money in the "ours" pot, and if there's any money left after paying the bills, the rest go to each of you for separate accounts. Each of you then have a little bit of money that you don't have to discuss with the other, so you don't feel like each others parents. But if one of you really sucks with money, then the "yours" could be that partner's allowance. I've tried the 3 pot method (15 years), tried the total immersion of money with the other (5 years), and tried the separate accounts method (1-2+ years), and I like the 3 pots method the best. If you're broke, it doesn't matter.

Answer 5

Well, it doesn't really matter when it comes to divorce, does it? When you go to court, the assets and the liabilities are divided equally, so one way or another, whether you've had joint or separate accounts; whether one went out and got him/herself into debt and the other saved, it'll all be divided anyway. The court requires a statement of assets and liabilities from each party, so to think that keeping a secret account or stashing money away will somehow protect it from detection is a mistake (for US citizens, that is).

Answer 6

It's up to the couple to decide if they really want to be partners or continue to act as roommates. If they keep everything separate, they do so because they are expecting the marriage to fail. Every couple I've seen who used this particular approach ended up getting divorced.

Answer 7

As in what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine; a very good idea; only to be used with consideration; meaning just don't grab money out of the cookie jar without consulting your partner; that's how my hubby and I've been doing it; we've been married for 23 yrs.

Answer 8

NO, I am to independant to think of jointly combinging assets and think it would 1. be taken care of 2 the marriage would last 3. be confident that I am not going to make another partner do the bills by him or her self.

Answer 9

I think it depends on you both manage money. My husband, for example, is totally irresponsible with money, so we have some things joint, some things separate. If I didn't make sure his bills got paid, we'd be screwed. When we got married 2 1/2 yrs ago, I thought we'd have joint everything--then I saw how he managed money.

Answer 10

Women believe that all assets should be shared upon marriage, only if they are not the breadwinner.