My 93 year old Grandmother passed away this year, she was the GLUE of the family. After her passing, my very large family has become very distant. I'm starting to dread Thanksgiving & Christmas time. I don't even want to put up a Christmas tree this year, nor decorate my house as I usually do. Do you feel the same because of a loss in your life?
2007-11-09 13:35:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
your still here, and im certain your grandma would have wanted you to do something
no one lives forever
what did u want her to be around till you were old? I mean seriously, now you continue the tradition in her honor and be the glue that holds the family together, because your just contributing to the disinigration of the family unit by choosing to loath holidays.
2007-11-09 13:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have lost 3 loved ones in the past 4 months. I don't think it would do any good to not celebrate the holidays. I know you are sad but the holidays can bring people together. Someone needs to be the new glue. Try to recall the good times and you can start new traditions if the old ones are too painful. Despite the sadness my family will celebrate as usual. Do you think gradma would want you to not get a christmas tree this year? I'm sure she would want you to be happy. sorry to hear about your loss
2007-11-09 13:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Panda 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My father-in-law passed away 5 years ago and it is the same for my husband's side of the family. Its as if they only did things because of him! Well, the only advice I have is, don't let it slip away. Make new traditions of your own or try to keep the old ones going. We pretty much have to force my mother in law to celebrate any holidays but she does and we have made some of own new family traditions because of our children. Look at this as a new challenge! Maybe you could just take a big breath, call some of the relatives you feel closer to, and go from there! Perhaps they are feeling the same way as you and it would be good to just "let it out". Then maybe things will be better. Think about what your grandmother would want. She would most definitely WANT you to decorate and be happy!
2007-11-09 13:46:32 · answer #3 · answered by FLmom3 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Put the tree up put the decorations up believe it or not it does help to do this. Remember all the good times that everyone shared. I lost my dad one year and my mom the next almost to the day and it was hard for me. But with every orniment and decoration I found it a little easier. Keep the traditions alive the rest of the family will follow in time.
2007-11-09 15:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by cheryl h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about your grandmother's passing. One of my relatives was seriously ill with a life threatening condition, but the operation helped in prolonging her life.
As odd as it seems, family illnesses or deaths occur close to the holidays. It is hard to celebrate, but easy to remember the true meaning of Christmas and Thanksgiving. It is not about spending money on gifts, but to show love and companionship for each other. When you are together with surviving members of the family, it is time to reflect on the joy they brought into your life so you can do the same for others.
I am sure your grandmother would have spoken in the same way.
2007-11-09 13:47:23 · answer #5 · answered by Yafooey! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I'm not dreading the Holidays. My mom died December 5th of 2005. She died of cancer. Christmas was her all time favorite Holiday. She was like your grandma, the glue of the family. She made things happen. My mom wouldn't want us to stop living and stop celebrating the holidays because she passed away. So we do Christmas, we do it also to remember her. I miss all the things we did together, Christmas shopping, wrapping presents together, baking, etc. Like I said she wouldn't want us to stop. Both my Grandfather's died around Thanksgiving. We buried my one grandpa the day before. My mom dreaded Thanksgiving cause someone always died around it. My mom went into ICU on Thanksgiving. I don't think your grandmother would want you to stop doing what you normally do. She'd probably tell you to go ahead and put up your tree and decorate. I know my mom would be telling me to. It's hard sometimes to get into the mood because it is sad. It's a good time to remember the good times around the holidays. I don't dread it but won't lie, I have my moments.
2007-11-09 13:46:42 · answer #6 · answered by CherishTheMoment 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Last year was a very hard year for my family after having 7 deaths from close family. I can tell you that it's for sure a hard time..but it also helps to keep your family together and continue on with traditions that your lost loved ones once loved. Be there for each other, have a wonderful time, but remember those who aren't with you. For sure it's tough, but know that your grandmother is looking down and would want you all living life with family tradition so she can smile upon you.
I'm certainly sorry for your loss.
Enjoy the holidays....
:)
2007-11-09 13:43:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I did at one time in my life, but, I decided that life must go on . I still had children at home and it was up to me to teach them the meaning of the holidays. So, I just started my own holiday traditions and invited people over.Today, its my traditions that the family depends on and we always have a wonderful time at the holidays.I'm sure you miss your Grandmother so much, but, take some of her traditions that she passed down, and make them yours. Celebrate the Holidays for her since she is no longer here to do it herself.I'm very sorry about your loss.
2007-11-09 23:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not so much Thanksgiving but Christmas. While I love Christmas, there is a part of me that doesn't want to celebrate at all this year because my grandma died this last spring and I still haven't completely come to terms with it. It just won't be the same at Christmas without her.
2007-11-09 13:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife's brother was murdered in late December many years ago. Their family has dreaded that holidays for years. You don't need the material things that indicate Christmas to have Christmas in your heart. The commercialism of it all should be ignored.
Did your G'ma celebrate Christmas? If she did, you would be honoring her memory by doing something she might have done. Donate to a food bank. Bake cookies for your neighbors. Volunteer where there are children.
She lived a long life; your family was blessed to have her for so long; that should be celebrated.
2007-11-09 13:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by Huba 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋