Been married for 3 yrs and this is getting worse. If i do anything for for husband regarding "thier" son she has a fit. For example I made a copy of school phone # for my husband to have that was in his sons school folder. When his ex found this out she had a fit and told his son to tell me NOT to touch anything in the folder and SHE would do all the coping for my husband. She was even pissed off when my husband called the school to get a copy of his sons report card. She was pissed because she wants him to get it from her not the school. Now my husband has joint custody and its not like his ex does not want him to have this info she just wants all the info he gets to come from her. Why is this? It would make it easier for her if we just took care of it. Why does she insist on being the "control center"
2007-11-09 09:59:13 · 5 answers · asked by deb r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
they have been divorced for 6yrs but she still has not found anyone
2007-11-09 09:59:52 · update #1
I think your last sentence was your answer.
2007-11-09 10:09:36 · answer #1 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though the ex may be bitter about the divorce and is using the son to control the father, who is the source of her anger. Unfortunately the son is caught in the middle of this battle. Your husband has every right to get whatever information pertaining to his son that he wants. But, you can't change the behavior of the mother. It's up to your husband to talk calmly with her and let her know that he is a part of his son's life and has a right to know what is going on and that all concerned need to think of the son when it comes to these petty battles and what it is doing to him. You, however, should stay completely out of this battle. Parents who use their children to get back at each other don't have a clue as to what it is doing to their children. It is cruel and mean spirited and will only push the children away.
2007-11-09 10:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie May 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maggie and John are both absolutely right in the reason for her being in control. However, I do disagree with the fact that this is none of your business. When your husband married you, you became this child's step parent. And in doing so, you also became responsible for him just as much as your husband. I truly believe that this costs many marriages today when it is a situation where there are step children and the step parent is totally left out of any decisions as to that child. You and your husband should stand united on hte matter of his son and his ex should learn to deal with it, get a life and move on. The catch is that it is up to your husband to end this behavior from her. As long as she is allowed to keep control of him, she will and it is his responsibility to tell her that, like it or not, you are a parent to this child too and she needs to realize that you can all work together to raise him or else she can end up causing him some serious mental problems with all the control issues!
If your husband is busy and wants you to go to the school to handle something then you should be allowed to do so. And no court is going to disagree with you and your husband standing united when it concerns the child. Your husband needs to set some ground rules and tell her how it is going to be and if she wants to fight it then she needs to take it to a judge! I'll bet he will be the one to come out on top of that one!
I wish you all the best!
Bonnie Ramsey
2007-11-09 10:25:15 · answer #3 · answered by bonnieram1962 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
regrettably she is a significant situation for the full kin. She is dirupting issues in you and your husbands relationship and she or he's putting your son in the midst of each and every thing and complicated him. that may no longer good in any respect. Your husband needs to take a seat along with her and tell her joint custody potential merely that. Custody is shared between 2 mothers and dads. the two mothers and dads have the say approximately what's happening of their childs existence. no longer one discern controlling the way issues are for the child and the different discern. If issues do no longer paintings on your husband with communication then he might ought to take her to court docket or a minimum of seek for an attorneys suggestion. I desire your loved ones the better of high quality fortune.
2016-10-02 00:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is not about control
His the one to blame he does not defend you..If he loved you he would stand up to this CONTROL FREAK..
and not make you look like the bad guy..and don't do nothing for that lonney no more..
His ex needs to grow up and you need to talk to him about how is making you feel like that cat in the middle.
My ex has a other women and whatever I decide is between US not everyone else..Just be fair and just..and she is NOT!
Maybe she stll loves him and is bitter..
Either you put up with it or take charge and put that control freak in her PLACE!!
2007-11-09 10:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋