So I HAVE just broken up with my boyfriend of 10 months.
At the start he seem charming and together.
After a few months I was hooked on him and he changed dramatically.
He was fired from his lawyer job, blamed his bosses for being 'jerks.
He sucked up alot of my time while looking for new job, he started drinking & overspending. He started saying he had lost his faith and maybe would be mean to people for fun.
He got a new job and said he'd be making great money. Instead 6 months went by and he suddenly announced to me that he now has another NEW law job starting soon. I asked him WHAT happened to the job he just got this year.
He said simply he isn't there anymore. ! He wont tell me if he quit or was fired again.
Besides job changes /drinking/spending he also is consumed with looking good all the time. Well I just figured out that I HAVE changed this year & its not for GOOD.
Before i met him I had a ton more saved in the bank$$$, I was happier, I saved more money, felt more spiritual, i drank and ate less and was satisfied with my looks. He worries about his weight and aging nd now Im under the same affliction.
So I realized holy @#$$% I'm like him NOW!!!
And I WISH I could save him. But I'm sadly wise enough to know he has to help himself and will only resent or drag me down further into his twisted rabbit hole.
So I broke it off now and he was mean to me and said he will be fine because he is getting a fancy new apt and his new job will pay 250k a year and he will buy a new bmw z4 with money.
Eeek he is completely messed up!
Has this happened to anyone else ?
Have you dated someone and their loserisnish messed up behavior rubbed off on you ?
2007-11-09 08:34:31 · 9 answers · asked by Leea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And I am really freaking out this second because for the 1 st TIME EVER i have just missed a mortgage payment !
I feel sick to my stomach.
I have a wonderful job starting january 1st but am going to work the next 4 weekends before xmas to get back in financial shape.
I HAVE been very self sufficient and I can not believe how messed up i let my own life get. this isnt me.
Is it best to HAVE ZERO contact with my ex ? He seems to still need me as a shoulder to cry on.
2007-11-09 08:37:10 · update #1
Im just really really glad I DID NOT have sex with him... This DUDE kept telling me that having KIDS will MAKE him a better man and grow up. So yeah it could be worse. I could be broke and pregnant! @@
2007-11-09 08:48:58 · update #2
uh...yes ! a man can 'bring you down' in a heart beat, if you let him. your guy was selfish and semi-irresponsible before you met him. and something about you may have brought this out in him again, maybe he saw you as a more accepting and forgiving person, that would let him slide with alot of things. and he felt comfortable showing you this side of himself, trust me, everyone in his life probably doesn't see this side of him. but yes this happened to me with my last boyfriend, he was a complete loser that 'I allowed " to mess up my life, but thank God I cut his a.s.s loose, and I'm now getting my life back on track...so that being said, you know what you need to do !
2007-11-09 08:51:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will be ok. The extra hard work you have to do to make up the financial end will help you to organize your thoughts and life again without worrying over him. You will go back to your OLD self which you seem to have liked extraordinarily and that is good.
Google "bipolar disorder".
And next time.. know yourself well enough to be VERY patient and cautious before sleeping with anyone just because you can. Do not live with some guy just because you can. Next time..make sure the "rules" of a true and honest marriage are discussed if the two of you seem to be falling into love. Make sure your hopes and dreams are fairly the same as his for the long haul.
2007-11-09 16:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I dated him. LOL My ex said he was an owner of a construction company until one day he got fired LOL He told me his parents were both dead one from an accident the other from suicide. So I felt that I needed to help him and inturn he turned me into a mess I was so behind on my bills I had him and his friends living in my home not helping financially, then I began to have their poor attitudes as well. SO I eventually recognized as you have that I didn't like the person I had become and what he had done to me so I kicked him out he came back I kicked him out again and tried to remain friends so I could help him get on his feet else where he came back so finally I said enough is enough and walked away COMPLETELY and now I am a very happy woman. I love my life and family again and look to my future with optimism. I would definately walk away if I were you in three months time you will still wonder how he is doing but you will be content in 6 months you willl wonder less and be ecstatic about your life and self.
2007-11-09 16:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should NOT have been paying for anything for him since you are only dating and not engaged or married!!! That is nothing. I dated a guy who turned my world upside down. He got fired, had a shitty apt and moved a couple times, smoked pot, drank, and then 6 months down the road when I figured all this out he had raped me multiple times(I was a virgin then) so at least that didnt happen to you! Get over him, hes a loser!!!!
2007-11-09 16:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lale 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, it will only ruin your entire life if you let it. You sound like a smart person who knows what needs to be done, as hard as it will be. The people we associate with do affect our attitudes and behavior, that's why we have to judge if they really are good for us or not. Good Luck!
2007-11-09 16:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Zero contact is DEFINITELY the right thing here.
He sounds like one of those people who blames everyone ELSE for their own mistakes.
Put it behind you, and consider it a hard lesson, well-learned. If this experience makes you a little more wary, than that's great---but don't let it make you distrust ALL guys. Good luck to you, and don't fall for any of his self-pity games.
2007-11-09 16:41:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i actually had 2 ex boyfriends screw me up financially in the past. you think i would have learned the first time. get away from this man now!!
2007-11-09 16:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by princess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay away from him he is sh.t
2007-11-09 16:50:07 · answer #8 · answered by rpetch007 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN QUICKLY AWAY!!!!
2007-11-09 23:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋