My husband goes out to lunch with women he works with. Last year he was on a bowling team and told me it was a male league only. Then I found out that he had asked a group of women from his work to join the league when he claims he found out it was a co-ed league. He didn't ask me to join. I trust him, but these things make me feel insecure. Should I feel this insecure? Does this sound suspicious. Sincere answers only.
2007-11-09 07:55:44 · 18 answers · asked by J9 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lunch is no big deal as long as he is not lying to you about the lunch and who he goes with. As for the co-ed bowling team, If that is the only thing making you concerned, then I would not be worried. It sounds as if he is just trying to maintain his independence from you by not asking you to the join the team. Yes, he lied by omission - thats not exactly nice, but you both have the right and are entitled to have lives and engage in activities separate and apart from the other. It helps maintain your own identity. HOwever, it would have been nice if he told you. Is there anything else going on that you are worried about? You said "these things" what else has he done to make you question his integrity? You have to look at the picture as a whole, not single isolated incidents to determine whether or not to question his integrity. Hope this helps.
2007-11-09 08:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by Ana Bella 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's how it all started with my husband and the female co-workers. Happy hour was the big thing on Friday after work,I didn't mind until he stop asking if it was OK to stop and have a few beers. It started with happy hour then co-workers having parties then just going out drinking with co-workers. Everytime he would go out he would tell me it was all guys and like a fool i believed him.
I have been through it, so if i were you i would be very worried about your husband wanting to be around females co-workers. 95% of all affairs start right in the office with a smile here and a joke there and before you know it they are having lunch then dinner then into the bed. It's very hard to think your husband would do that to you,remember he isn't thinking of you, there is only one thing on his mind and that is toget into her pants.
2007-11-09 11:19:29 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That he did not ask you to join the league would be somewhat of a concern for me too if I were you. But you did say he did not know it was co-ed league. Even so, why he does not wish to include you, even as on observer and for company is somewhat discounting you. I would be upset. Talk to you husband about this.
2007-11-09 08:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you should be worried. I dont mean to sound rude or insensative, but its the truth. I understand that he didnt know it was a co-ed bowling league, but when he found he shoudl have invited you to join or at least told you. What does he have to hide. Please, open your eyes. I been there before and was enlightened by what I found. I hope it all works out for you
2007-11-09 08:26:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be worried...You should have been the FIRST female to ask to join the co ed bowling league....I have a hard time believing that he didn't know it was a co ed league....unless the other leagues they were bowling with also didn't know and there were no women on those leagues....a hard pill to swallow my dear.....
2007-11-09 08:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe it is suspicious. Why were you not invited to join? I would meet him at the bowling alley on the night he is bowling with the girls from work. Watch how he acts around them.
You should be worried, he is trying to hide something!
2007-11-09 08:09:13 · answer #6 · answered by Mulligan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to trust after many little lies. Maybe he did not ask you because you are not a good bowler( not joking or being mean) but he should have told you that it was coed!
2007-11-09 08:09:11 · answer #7 · answered by liliann z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not the lunch, not the bowling team, not the insecurities. You don't trust him. Why? You know the answer.
2007-11-09 08:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica C 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
so go hang out at the bowling alley on league night and observe for yourself. There's probably nothing going on....but why not play detective and reassure yourself. When your comfortable that all is well, walk up and cheer him on (if you're comfortable with that...otherwise just go home and never speak of it...)
2007-11-09 08:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by Aeon 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well it really depends we all go to lunch together at work and sometimes my boss and another lady at work go out alone to lunch but it is obvious that there's no hanky panicky they are both happily married there just going out for lunch. Now on the other hand if I were to see my boss go out with another particular female in the office I would be mad if I were is wife because it is obvious that there could be some chemistry there but my boss doesn't go there and put himself in those situations. Would your husband?
2007-11-09 08:11:14 · answer #10 · answered by sheila 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋