The family is not horrible but I do not have a single thing in common with them and they're way too clingy with my husband and now new baby daughter!!
2007-11-09 07:25:15 · 26 answers · asked by Pandu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What a woman!!! How lucky your husband and child are.. Really
2007-11-09 07:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
The answer is simple. It NEVER matters what you did. Love and attraction need to be a 'right now' thing. Take sex for example. Men cheat and divorce over sex because RIGHT NOW their need isn't being met. Women are especially bad at dealing with 'right now'. They 'used' to look good but allow themselves to gain 50 lbs... attraction is a 'right now' thing. Should people divorce? Probably not... but the real culprit is that people stop being what was attractive to the other person. It's like a job. If you were a great employee for 5 years, but this last 5 months you let your performance go, you will get fired. You ALWAYS have to be doing your best. If you don't you are out the door. Marriage is no different. If you remove the initial reason for attraction, then you remove the attraction. Once the attraction is gone, you are nothing more than an irritating problem.
2016-04-03 04:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married my husband 2 yrs ago but we've been together for almost 5 yrs. I fought with his sister and family the second we met. I was threatened by her and we just flat out did NOT get along! I stuck it out and continue to stick it out. We have a baby together and my husband complains to me that MY family is too clingy to him. I actually think it's just the difference between the way we were both raised. His family is very distant and has a funny way of showing love while my family is there any time you need them showering you with hugs and kisses. It's a different in how you were raised and you may see it as clingy and they see it as loving their little granddaughter to pieces!
I have really been bothered by my husband's family but never once did divorce cross my mind. Yes, you sort of marry his family but still you guys have your own family with your baby girl. Don't get upset but is there any jealousy there? Does his family see the baby more often then yours?
All I can say is that marriage isn't just a piece of paper contrary to what some people think. If that's how people feel they have no business getting married. People don't take marriage as seriously anymore and it's almost like excuses are made and divorce is the easy solution. NO marriage is easy! They always have ups and downs. And you two should try to work through anything and everything especially because you have a new baby! I'm not saying you are any of the things listed, but please, think before considering divorce. There are other options.
2007-11-09 07:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a reason to want a divorce, what is the matter with people in our society today???
They do not like this, they do not like that, so, they think, well, I want a divorce because his family is too clingy with my husband and now the new baby daughter!
Excuse me, but when you have a new baby in the family, you better get used to it with everyone being "too clingy" with the baby and the new daddy!
How selfish and cruel! Honey, starting with you, you have a lot to work on, you are a piece of work to even think that what you just said would be grounds for a divorce! So if he does not buy you roses, for your birthday, but violets instead, you would want a divorce also??
2007-11-09 07:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truthfully love your husband, then no. You cant allow your husbands family ruin your marriage. You have a new baby daughter and it would be great to raise her with your husband. You just need to set guidelines with the family. Now, if your not in love with your husband, do it now before your daughter gets older so she wont remember the divorce since it was at an early stage in her life. but do all for the correct reasons and not just to run away from your problems.
2007-11-09 07:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by RockStar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have plenty in common w/ them - you're all a family. That's what family does. Everyone tolerates each other with love. Because family is more than having stuff in common or liking each other, it's about loving your family and being a team. I would never get a divorce over that.
2007-11-09 07:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know when you are young you think that love will fix everything and it is all you need. I also know that you think your are marring a person not his family but the truth is you really did marry the whole family. In-laws on both sides can have a huge impact on your relationship.
The problem sounds like it is really communication between you and your husband. Talking about how you feel about his family and what upsets you.
Then you both need to compromise and meet each other half way.
2007-11-09 08:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart, if you love him, then his family shouldn't come into play. Now if he acts different around you when he's around them, that's cause for some worry. Just give it some time, as I'm sure you have, be patient, and talk to your husband about it without getting upset. Also, break the ice, ask his family questions. You'll find that some things run deeper than they seem to.
2007-11-09 07:30:01 · answer #8 · answered by Evadne Soleil 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No to divorce over that is silly. If I couldn’t stand someone’s family I wouldn’t marry or go out with them. Let’s face it when you get married your marrying into your husband or wife’s family. So you’re not just marrying them in a way you’re marrying their family as well.
Of course their going to clingy to their new grandchild.
2007-11-09 07:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you described sounds pretty normal to me especially if this is your husbands first child. It sounds to me that you are feeling a small amount of jealousy and resentment that you are not getting the attention from his family, considering you gave birth.
I would suggest that you speak with your husband about how you feel (mainly feeling left out) and express that you would like to be more involved. I cant speak to specific remedies that would address your anxiety, but talk with him.
2007-11-09 07:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by plan_ner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I would consider moving far away though! But wouldn't that make him unhappy too? I guess right after you've given birth isn't a great time to make a major change. It could work out that he visits them without you, and how would that be better?
Could you ask them to help out more with your daughter? Babysitting so that you two can go out together? Maybe they are giving him more attention without realising that you could do with some help & reassurance too? Or some more time with him?
Plan a holiday now to cheer yourself up.
2007-11-09 07:41:22 · answer #11 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋