Would a Filipino family tend to hold low regard for an American woman who marries into their family?

Question

I'm an American woman living in Manila. My husband is Filipino. I have learned about and tried to practice and respect customs and culture. I know I haven't gotten everything right and have made many mistakes but I am trying. It's been a difficult but manageable situation until six weeks ago when my husband had a stroke that left him disabled and me having to frequently interact with his family. Meetings to discuss the situation have been disastrous and I've left crying. I can't seem to get it right and I'm about ready to pack it in and back go home. I've never felt so devalued or disrespected, like a useful object not a human being. I am taking good care of their brother and son on my own. They do not help. I haven't asked for money although they know my husband didn't have much of his own and that I am starting to sell things like my car to pay his medical bills. They are not poor. What could I have done to be held in such low regard? How can I make this better?

Answer 1

One thing you have to remember about Filipinos is that they are very "clannish" - they like to stick together to the extent that others would feel like an outsider. It might help if you consulted them with matters related to your husband's medical condition. You have to understand that this is their brother and son and they feel that they should have a say in whatever happens to him. Give them the importance that they think they deserve (even if you don't think they don't!). Be patient... it takes time for a Filipino family to accept the wife of a member especially if the wife is somebody they do not approve of. Just show them that you are looking after the best interest of your husband. Hope this helps... take care.

Answer 2

Of course I don't know the particulars here. But here's a thought, which you can ignore completely if you think it does not apply.

Is it possible that the problem has nothing to do with racial or cultural differences? Perhaps his family is just a bunch of jerks. There are plenty of stories like yours among culturally homogeneous families too.

I am very sorry that you have to deal with your husband's illness and this insensitivity at the same time.

Answer 3

adult adult males! the only reason a Filipina will marry a foreigner is for money and threat. Love isn't continuously the case even inspite of the shown fact that the little brown darlings will seem you interior the attention and enable you realize that they love you. Their in basic terms actual love and priorities are their instantaneous relatives. They stay by making use of (untang na loob) A custom of owing and criminal accountability to their relatives. You as a foreigner have incredibly no criminal accountability to assist their families. they could desire to examine to seize their very own fish or make your spouse get a job and help her very own relatives!

Answer 4

Girl be yourself don't let anything get you down and try not to embarrass yourself!!!! Act natural and get a hold of yourself!!!!