Married & flirted with another man. I feel really bad and don't know how to make amends.Guilt is killing me.

Question

I went out the other night & a guy hit on me. He is a friend whose company I enjoy - from England & I am interested in his culture, religion, politics, etc. Problem is that I am married & he has a little "sex" buddy w/ no strings attached. We were flirting throughout the night. She was there. He walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me. I told him that would not happen and he should go back inside. He hugged me and I left. We both were drinking throughout the night. He called me the next day and apologized for giving little regard to the Mrs.and putting me in that position. Next day, I went to apologize to her for what took place. She said, "I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate it though (with sarcasm)." I feel enormous guilt for what took place. I am sorry for disrespecting my husband, two kids, & her. My husband has no clue this occurred & I truly wouldn't cheat, nor purposely hurt another person. We all hang out at the same place, how do I fix this?

Answer 1

Flirting needs to be controlled after marriage. Flirting is meant to get the others sex's attention and once you have it you flirt to get closer and then to finally get to what you really want. Some women like to say the flirting is in their nature but it still needs to be kept under control and reserved for you husband/ wife after marriage. The best way to fix something like this is to make sure all party's involved can see that you have changed how you act. in something like this actions speak louder than words. You may very well walk away from this with no harm done, all you need to do is reserve you flirting for your husband. this time nothing happened but who knows if things might get out of control next time and you may find yourself somewhere you don't want to be so do yourself and your family a favor and don't let there be a next time. You will find yourself much happier for it. And yes like those above you Don't have to mention this to your husband, as for the other two involved just let your actions in the future speak for you.

Answer 2

Wow, things might be really awkward after that.

Ummmm, I guess that if you didn't kiss and nothing else happened you haven't really cheated, although some people might feel differently.

Your guilt and regret alone should make you never want to do it again.

I would say that your guilt and regret would also make it easier for you to change some of your hang out choices and the people you hang out with to ensure these things won't happen again, especially if alcohol is involved.

Where was your husband when all this happened?

Perhaps you should go out with him on your arm, rather then without him.

I hope out of anger this women won't tell your husband, he may never forgive you.

It's a very hard thing to get over betrayel on any level. It is not nice to hear that, but, it is so true.

By the way, I think your asking about this and trying to deal with it is wonderfully strong of you. It is hard to admit things but I see you are genuinely sorry.

I hope it all works out for you. I really do.

Answer 3

You don't. Simply because there is nothing to fix. You flirted. Big deal. You had the opportunity to cheat and mess around and you turned it down. Good for you. If it has made you feel guilty then just don't let it happen again, but you haven't disrespected anyone with your actions. Instead I feel you have honored them by doing the right thing when the chips were on the table.

Answer 4

I believe you need to make changes in your life. If you feel tempted by this man and are developing feelings for him, it will cloud your feelings for your husband.... if you and your husband go through a difficult time, it's easy to run to this man now.

He did not respect your marriage by attempting to kiss you - although you shouldn't have flirted quite so much!! If you can't trust yourself around this guy, don't ever put yourself in that situation again. Right now this is innocent enough, I'm thinking about the future... oh and if this girl is pissed she just might tell your husband - make sure you tell him first.

Answer 5

You're allowed to flirt with other guys when your married! Things did not go any further.... so there's nothing to feel guilty about.
It sounds like you feel more uncomfortable by this guys sex buddy - she clearly is unhappy with his behaviour, but seems to be taking it out on you. Sounds like she probably likes this guy more than she's letting on - regardless of the 'no strings attatched' rule.
Therefore the problem is hers - NOT yours! So don't beat yourself up about it - you didn't do anything wrong.

Answer 6

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Married & flirted with another man. I feel really bad and don't know how to make amends.Guilt is killing me.
I went out the other night & a guy hit on me. He is a friend whose company I enjoy - from England & I am interested in his culture, religion, politics, etc. Problem is that I am married & he has a little "sex" buddy w/ no strings attached. We were flirting throughout the night. She was...

Answer 7

I really don't see anything that you did wrong.
So you flirted a little bit, we all do.
But the most important thing is you stopped it before it went too far.
I applaud you for that.
That shows great inner strength.
Stop beating yourself up for enjoying the attention from a mutual friend.
Give yourself credit for acknowledging it, and not letting it go any farther :)

Answer 8

Your hubby probably doesn't care if you flirt a little bit as long as you keep him satisfied.

Answer 9

Nothing happened but take it as a lesson . One night of a little bit of pleasure could cause a big problem later on. Just ignore it and you did what you could. You said sorry even though he is the one his girl should be worried abotu.He isnt exactly innnocent.

Answer 10

well...if your husband is an understanding man maybe you should tell what happend...tell him that nothing happend and that you want him to know this happened b/c its making you feel bad...he should understand...
you should also make sure to keep out of one on one contact with this other guy...maybe have your husband around when he is...
and maybe not hang out one on one with out your husband or anyone else around with this guy...continuing will only cause more attraction between the 2 of you and and will only cause probs in your marriage...not quite worth being interested in this guys culture, religion, politics, etc....you can find those things out on the net...

if your hubbys not really understanding enough for that solution...dont tell him, pray about it give it God...he knows the true intent of your heart...