how do I find a private lender thats not a FAKE?

Answer 1

Easy.....they are all "fake" (aka scammers).

1) If they are posting on a message board, they are a scammer.
2) If they have a generic email address (Yahoo!, gmail, Hotmail, etc.), they are a scammer.
3) If they require you to pay any sort of fee upfront, they are a scammer.

Try:
www.prosper.com
www.lendingclub.com

To the best of my knowledge there NO private lenders in the business of making unsecured personal loans to individuals!!

Answer 2

Listen to Dave Ramsey... he will tell you!