Does a man´s biological connection to a child override a mother´s decision to put the child up for adoption?

Question

A case today in the Daily Mirror,
" In a court case this week a 20 yr old woman argues that she should be able to put her 17 week old baby up for adoption- a baby the father doesn´t know exists. Adoption workers think that the father should be told, a county court backs them but the mother is taking the case to the Court of Appeal."

Does the father have a right to know?

An initial knee jerk reaction would be to say , yes of course. But consider how difficult it is to decide to put the baby up for adoption. No woman takes this decision lightly. She is likely to have spent many months thinking and deciding what is best.

Does the man´s "biological connection" automatically give him the right to possibly override what has been a very difficult heartbreaking and considered decision?

Answer 1

You ask, "Does the father have a right to know?"

My answers is most definitely, yes! If a woman has a child and the father doesn't want to be in the picture, his parental obligations are forced on him in the form of child support. Why would the fathers rights or obligations be deemed any less important, when he chooses to be in the child's life? If we are going to be fair under the law, it must work both ways.

You say, "But consider how difficult it is to decide to put the baby up for adoption. No woman takes this decision lightly. She is likely to have spent many months thinking and deciding what is best."

How difficult it was to make the decision or how long she spent thinking about it, is unimportant. It does not negate the rights of the father, which I might add are or should be equal under the law. The reason I say "are" or "should", is because laws differ from country to country and I cannot be certain about those laws of places where I do not reside. Why would it be any less hard for the father to watch his baby being given away? Are his feelings less important?

You ask, "Does the man´s "biological connection" automatically give him the right to possibly override what has been a very difficult heartbreaking and considered decision?"

If anyone argues that the man's biological connection is not important, they are being prejudice and sexist. If they act on those claims it is discrimination. You cannot treat people differently based on sex. There are situations in this country, where this still happens, but should change. One example, is when a judge awards awards custody of children to the woman, solely because she is a woman. This is very unfair and discriminatory, yet it happens on a daily basis in the United States and I am sure other places. If we are going to advocate equality for women, we must advocate equality for men. It cannot work one way. We need to get past this idea that just because the child comes from the mothers body, that her rights are someone more important when it comes to making decisions about the child. If someone argues that a man's rights concerning children are less important, then they are also arguing that a mothers rights are more important. In conclusion, I cannot see anyone advocating or even questioning the equality of each parents rights, because it doesn't only hurt men, it reinforces the idea that a woman's place is at home with the children. .

EDIT

Katkat,

You say, "if it turned out not to be I wouldn't tell the other guy. I'd be fine on my own - and he is NOT a suitable father for a cat never mind a baby. So no, I don't think it's his choice - I highly doubt he would want the baby, so leave her to make a decision herself!!"

You are despicable. You are the one that had the one night stand while in a relationship, yet you quickly judge the possible father's ability to be responsible and claim that you wouldn't tell him??? Regardless of how you see this other person, if he is the father, you should inform him of that fact. Parenthood has brought about remarkable changes in people and you have no right to deny the child a possibly wonderful natural father. If he doesn't change, at least you could say that you were the bigger person. Don't give your child a reason to hate you later in life. Trust me, he or she possibly could, if you lie about his/her true father and they find out. It wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened.

Answer 2

I would say yes and an adoption can’t be legal unless both biological parents sign their rights away. Now if they don’t know where the father is I have heard that you have to place an ad and the father has a period of time to answer it. If he doesn’t answer in that period of time then I think the courts automatically terminated the rights.

There are situations where woman perhaps feels a guy will not be a good father, it happens people a woman gets involved with a real loser. Seriously look at some of the babies that get shaken all because their parents are not truly ready to be parents and don’t have the patience yet for it.

You also have to think about the adopted parents. It has happened where the biological father has come back years later to successfully reclaim his birth child because he never signed his rights away and no one ever tried to contact him. Think of what that would do to the adopted parents to have their child ripped away from them. What it would do to the child to be ripped away from the only parents it’s had and known, and be placed with a stranger.

Answer 3

I think the man who is the father should be told first, of the whole situation. Just because he doesn know about the child now, doesnt mean he wont care if he he does know the child exists. Give him the chance, at least, to know the child exists and see how he feels. Most genuine parents would take care of a child rather than see him/her go into the hands of the care system.The mother obviously also needs help, so DO NOT FORGET ABOUT HER. She may have post-natal depression, I DO NOT KNOW FULL CIRCUMSTANCES, But please do not give up on her. Unless ther are serious circumstances surrounding the father, then tell him he has a child in this situation, and let him at least be a part of the decision. Do seek professional legal advice though,as this is a serious situation. good luck.

Answer 4

The woman does not have the ability or want to raise this child so what would it matter to her if he wanted to?

I don't think that the woman is the only person who should be involved in this decision. If she cannot or will not raise this child someone will, why not it be the child's natural father, unless he is a child molester or a career criminal or something.

My main question, the child is 17 weeks old, why does the father not know of the child's birth? Has she been holding this information from him for a reason? That is something I am sure the court will take into consideration.

Answer 5

The father has a right to know about his child and the fact that it might be up for adoption. Afterall, he may want to look after his child and it would be in the child's best interest to be with at least one of it's natural parents. Men are just as capable at bringing up children as women and you would be surprised at the ease that some women give their children up - I am living proof of both of these points.

Interesting isn't it - the father is being denied a choice here and yet, if the mother wanted to keep the child, he would soon be chased and hounded for maintenance.

Answer 6

Would a mothers "biological connection" give her the right to possibly override a fathers decision to put his child up for adoption.

Answer 7

A lot of people are condemning the woman on false grounds. My understanding is that she believes she is acting in his interests as it was a ill-judged one night stand and he is now happy with his fiance and the mother is seeking to not ruin this.

That said, yes the man definitely has a right to know, and he should be given the opportunity to choose to raise the child prior to it being adopted. The way to manage this situation is for the woman to tell the father about the situation without telling anyone else and let him make the choice.

Of course a woman actually carries and gives birth to the child, but it is detestable for this woman to discount the Father's biological claim by treating it as entirely her decision.

Answer 8

Who cares how she feels? What about the child, the true victim here (along with the father)? How about she gives the child to the father if she doesn't want the responsibility? ANd if he doesn't want the child, then put him/her up for adoption. Courts always look out for the best interests of the child, adults make their own situations tenious. Not children. They dont get to choose when to be born or consumated.

This is one of the most selfish stories I have ever read in awhile. Truly sad that she a) never told the man, b) doesn't want the child to have the opp to be with the father, and c) she has legal ground to do all the above.

Where is the "he shouldnt be allowed to force her to keep it" mantra coming from? THis has nothing at all to do with anything and would never, ever happen in a western nation.

Answer 9

I think that the Dad has a right to know. That way, he can either take the baby and look after it himself, or agree to have it adopted. He shouldn't be allowed to say, "No, I want you to keep it," though, because that would be selfish.

To be honest, it sounds like the baby is being treat like a toy. Next thing, she'll be going to the courts asking for permission to sell it on eBay...

Oh, and why does the fact that it's a hard decision to make affect whether or not the father should be told? I think she's just being selfish (not by wanting to give it up for adoption, but for not wanting to let him know. It's half his, after all).

Answer 10

yes the father should have the right to have the child, what is the reason she want,s to have the child adopted which ever way you look at it the child should come first and it is not an easy thing to do putting a child up for adoption i know i had to do it lucky for me my daughter found me and we are very happy