Should I tell her mom?

Question

My best friend recently moved..she made a few new friends and lives closer to me now. Lately I noticed a differnece in my friend since she has hung out with her new friend. She was a chrstian b4 all this and now I doubt she is. Her mom would want to know what she has told me she has done but idk if I should tell. It isnt life or death but it could get worse. She has been near a bridge with her friend and they took off there shirts and jumped in the water,she has taken her mom's car and driven it to her friends house (1 house down) when no one was home,she has been hanging out with a boy she isnt allowed to and told me she likes him and she has said she snuck outside and ran around her yard at 2am. All with her new friend. We don't get along anymore or as much. We don't hang out anymore cuz she is ALWAYS with her new friend. See I am scared she may do worse things. She is 15. So should I tell her mom all she has been doing?

To those who think I am doing it for revenge..I'm not. Yes,I WAS jealous until I saw how she acted. It is the way she gets she acts out to be a side she can't normally show. See most of it I wouldn
t be concerned accept she has taken her mom's car and those type of things. I am thinking of just emailing her mom telling her to watch more close instead of saying what she has been doing. I have talked to my friend but I did it wrong..it messed up but that was a few days ago and she let that go but she is still acting crazy.

Answer 1

don't go ragg on her to her mom only because she is no longer hanging out with you. but do say something if you feel she could do harm to herself. if you care for her then go ahead. but don't expect to have her friendship back.

Answer 2

Do not tell her. Why? She's 15 and I'm guessing you are close to that age as well since she is your friend. This whole tell her mom thing sounds like the frustration of someone who is upset because of the new friend. I call this the 'you where my friend first' syndrome. People change, grow and move on. At this stage in a young persons life they will change numerous times before they find themselves.

If she is not doing harm to herself I say stay out of it. If you run tell her mom this will only push her further from you and you will possibly end the friendship without intending to.

You say you fear she could be doing worse things......well, do you have proof? Besides, if there really is a change in your friend her mother already knows about it. Leave it alone and in the interim busy yourself with other friends or make new ones.

Answer 3

First of all, if your friend was a Christian before all of this, then she still is...just being misled by bad influences...

But if you feel scared for her, and her mother has no clue what's going on, then you should definitely tell her...but tell her mother to talk to her in a way that when she tries to find out what's going on it won't relect on you since you are only trying to help her, not get her into trouble....

Maybe if you tell her mom, she can catch her doing some of these things rather than confront her directly and your friend will never have to know anyone told her mother in the first place.

Your friend may be upset, but I think in the long run, she will thank her mom for caring (although it may be years down the road:)

Answer 4

I wouldn't go so far as to tell her mother about all this, at least not yet. Is there a reason you two don't get along like you used to? Because of this new friend, I assume. She fell in with the bad crowd now. Peer pressure.
She's your best friend - or at least that's what you still consider her. You seem like you sincerely care about her still despite her lack of being a very good friend to you as of late. In this case, I would maybe call her up, send her an e-mail/IM, w/e and explain that you want to talk to her about her behavior. Don't be judgmental. Don't jump down her throat. Don't act like a parental figure - she already has one/two. Just express your concerns to her and that you are afraid she might end up getting in trouble or worse yet, hurt by doing stuff she (probably knows) shouldn't be doing. Let her know that you were contemplating telling her mother, but that you cared more about her than that then to betray (what little) her friendship like that. The worst thing she can do is to blow you off (unless she has gotten so out of control that you think she might want to fight you, but she doesn't seem that way/type...) Last resort would be to tell her mother. I wouldn't do it in a way, however, that might get her in a truckload of a trouble. Do with her mother as you did with your friend, and approach it gently.
Best of luck to you and your friend. She is very lucky to have you as a friend who would look out for her like this.

Answer 5

At 15 it's not unusual to behave this way, rebelling as I'm sure you have done yourself. You also know that at 15 you're not exactly James Bond so she will invariably get busted. You may not want to tell her mom everything and you may not have to. Why don't you just tell her you're worried and if she could keep a closer eye for a bit. Or get your mom to have a word?
Alternatively you could just sit tight, she may be smart enough not to do anything too stupid other than acting out a little.

Answer 6

Most def.

And I'm saying this as a fellow teenager.

Nothing is worse than watching your friend take a bad path and ended up dead, in jail, or in your bathroom taking a pregnancy test.

Or, if you feel like the situation is really really serious, tell your mom and ask for her advice. Or ask your mom to voice the concerns for you.

Sometimes parent-to-parent works. But sometimes it also doesnt, so I say both you and your mom go to her together and talk about how you're feeling and what her daughter has been doing.

Answer 7

Why don't you try to speak one on one to her first and let her know that her behavior is of concern to you. But, don't do it in a judgmental fashion because everybody makes mistakes.

She may be experimenting what is is to be 15. I used to sneak out with my friends at that age and did silly things.(never anything dangerous) Just stupid teenage stuff. And I am also a Christian.

If things do not change, distance yourself from her. Make new friends that have the same interest as you do.

If she does something that seems harmful to others or to herself, go to a guidance counselor or to your own parents, and let them take it from there.

Change can be hard, especially at your age, so just hang in there. The best is yet to come.

Answer 8

It is your duty as a "friend" to talk to your friend and let her know your concerns. It could just be she is lashing out for attention or something. Talk to her about it first, and if things dont change just tell her mom you are a little concerned, no need for too many details unless things get bad....then get the parents fully involved and do something about it. Be a good friend and hear her out and give her the chance to fix it first. Even if you have to email her or write her a letter.

Answer 9

I always tell my kids that if their friends are doing something that could cause harm to their friend, they need to tell a trusted adult or they aren't really a friend at all. This is a tricky situation that you are in, because no matter which choice you make, you risk losing the friendship. No doubt, your friend isn't going to be happy that you told on her, but if you don't tell you may lose her anyway.

Don't assume that your friend is no longer a Christian. We all sin and we all make mistakes in our lives. Maybe now is one of those times in your friend's life where she needs Jesus (and you) more than ever.

Follow your heart. It will all work out in the end.

Answer 10

So i dont feel you should tell the mom at first, talk to her, explain to her how you feel, and after that confront your mom and ask her how she would feel if you were doing things like that but then maybe your friend is just tired of being RESTRICTED and this new friend brings something out of her that no one can, it will all die down sooner or later but just chill for a minute, as long as she is not cutting herself, doing drugs or drinking, she is ok so just pray because thats all you can do and TALK TO HER not her mom!

Answer 11

If you suspect that drugs are involved YES! She may just be trying to impress some new friends. Sounds like you are the kind of friend every one should have. Talk to your mother about this and maybe she should talk to your fiends mother. It looks like you mom is doing a good job with raising you!