My husband and I are in the last threads. He wants his freedom and I was tired of his going back and forth. He would say one day, that I was a bad person, a bad mom, a ***** etc... and the next tell me he loves me and I deserve better than him etc... So I am giving him his freedom and I helped him to make the choice. He wasnt happy with me and our kids. So I am going to let him go. I am being left without a home, money and a vehicle though, so that has me really stressed and upset. My whole marriage I have given him everything he wanted. I love him deeply and will miss him, but that doesnt matter to him. I wanted to get him something for Christmas even though I know he doesnt deserve it after the things he does. Should I get him something at least from the kids? And if so, what should I get him? I cant afford to spend all that much obviously. He is 25 years old and a movie and game nerd.. Thanks for your help.
2007-11-09 04:44:16 · 21 answers · asked by Rene D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A completely disaffectionate "start over" kit -- laundry basket filled with box of detergent, jar of mustard, couple boxes of mac n' cheese or microwave soups, cleanser, maybe a few kitchen towels, roll of paper towels, some refrigerator magnets.
It says a basic "here, you'll need this, it really is what you wanted" without any emotion (maybe a whiff of basic human compassion) involved.
The closing touch? A picture frame with nothing in it. Extra bonus points for one with a "memories", "family", or "kids" theme built in.
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Ed: to clarify, this is from YOU. He is still the father of your children, and they should gift him if they want, or if they are too young to know what's going on, you should gift him in their names appropriately. You cannot vent in their names; that isn't fair. (Unless he's such a complete jerk that it really is warranted. From your description he sounds more detatched from the notion of fatherhood, than angrily unwilling to embrace the role.)
2007-11-09 05:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by Chipmaker Authentic 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No please dont BUY him anything. It's not going to salvage the relationship. If you are going to be left without a home, car, etc and he knows this and won't help YOU out then you need to save your money for what you NEED!
Have the kids make him cards, cookies, etc. You can get a nice tin from the dollar store or walmart and fill it up with home made goodies that can come from the kids!
You need to gather up all your strength and move on from his emotional abuse! Good Luck!
2007-11-09 04:50:19 · answer #2 · answered by PrincessM2531 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, if you want to get him a gift, then do it. There is nothing wring with it. I mean, obviously you still love him and you can't change that. Just because you are getting a divorce doesn't mean that you two have to be nasty towards one another.
Maybe get him something that you think will help him remember his kids. A picture framed, or maybe a scrapbook of pic of him and the kids.
2007-11-09 04:56:03 · answer #3 · answered by moon&stars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you should get him anything, you have already given him enough and he treats you this way because he knows that you will give in and give him what he wants, which is exactly what you have done. Have your kids make him something, that is much more special and stop being a doormat. Remember, you teach people how to treat you.
2007-11-09 04:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I myself am somewhat in the same situation. I was married for ten years and finally left. I didn't have kids though. I still have nothing nine months later. I too was thinking about getting my ex something for christmas. I would say get him something meaningful that will make him feel really guilty about how he treated you.
2007-11-09 04:53:40 · answer #5 · answered by k-baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the starting up i doesn't enable him to stay for any extra nights, notwithstanding in case you want to flow via with it then i imagine you all favor to take a seat and talk this. on the end of the day you too must be being consulted on who's/isn't staying on your position. i ought to point that you placed a particular era of time for him to stay and tell him how lengthy that is. in this time he desires to be looking and making option preparations as you're literally not a inn, homeless hostel or something else. form this out first and then settle on how a lot lease he desires to pay and so on for the time he's there,again you're literally not operating a charity. If he has no longer stumbled on someplace to stay contained in the alloted time, then he ought to flow again to his mum's position, crowded or no longer. he's not yours or your husband's responsibility and also you're entitled to have your position as your own without needing travelers staying there in case you so favor. also position a ban on the alcohol, if he needs to drink then he ought to stumble upon another position to do it. you're keeping a house no longer a ingesting den. bear in options you and your husband can nonetheless grant him the help without him living with you - it really is compared to you're stoppping him from travelling is it! wish each and everything works out properly for you, good success.
2016-10-23 22:27:08 · answer #6 · answered by styron 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the kids are old enough to know whats going on ( like 4 and up), then have the kids get him something. You shouldnt.
2007-11-09 06:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how old the kids are they can draw him a picture or make him something at school. As for you buying him something it doesn't sound as if he deserves anything from you at all..
2007-11-09 04:59:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will he buy you something also??? He sounds like a selfish JERK. Don't buy him anything. He is not a good/nice person. If he were a good person and you were divorcing it would be different but if he is leaving you without a car DO NOT BUY HIM CRAP!!
2007-11-09 04:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have often wanted to do nice things for my ex... I sent him a birthday card recently,,.... but I do question my motives. Sometimes I think that my goal is to sub-consciously say to him... "See, I'm nice even though you aren't." That's manipulative and I really don't want to be that kind of person.
Check your motives....
2007-11-09 04:52:28 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋