I am scheduled for a c-section on Nov. 30 and I am so confused as to whether or not to have my almost 4 year old son at the hospital. I had so many complications with him during his birth, I'm afraid to have him there. We're planning to send him to school in the morning and have my husband or mom pick him up just as soon as possible. Is this fair to him? I really want him to be there! Were your older children present for the birth of the baby? What were your / their experiences? Is it better for bonding purposes? Thanks!!
2007-11-09 04:34:04 · 14 answers · asked by Wendi 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No, no, no, I don't mean have him in the delivery room, just at the hospital, lol.
Thanks!
2007-11-09 05:01:08 · update #1
my son will be 2 months from being 4 when i have my daughter, and he will be there, my mother is going to keep him in the waiting room, he has activities and snacks to entertain him, and he DOES know that mommy is having a baby, everytime we go to the doctor he thinks im having the baby! he's excited, why wouldnt you want him there he has a very important role in the babys life! good luck
2007-11-09 07:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by urbabysmama21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some hospitals won't allow certain age groups in the operating room. But even if its still allowed, I don't think that most 4 yr olds can grasp the horror of having their mothers belly cut open and seeing your insides on the outside. I was in when my wife had her c-section, and I as an adult still have bad thoughts about that one.
Children at that age can't see the beauty in a birth while all of that is happening anyway.
2007-11-09 04:47:13 · answer #2 · answered by Magic 61 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 4, he isn't going to really understand what's going on. And you'll spend more time worrying about him than taking care of yourself. Since you're having a c-section, there isn't much time for hanging out with your child. They have procedures to do, blood to draw, IV to start, anesthesia to consult with you, etc. It's going to be busy. Kids get bored having to sit around a hospital. They are aware that something is going on and it might be unsettling for them too.
Let him go to school and have a family member or dad pick him up later. As far as bonding goes, with a sibling, it's not very important for baby to be with siblings immediately following the birth - it's most important for baby to bond with the mother. You will need a couple of hours in the recovery room, and this is usually the time when you will have time to bond with the baby if baby is ok. Once you're settled in a nice, comfy postpartum room a few hours later, that's when I would start bringing family in. You aren't going to be comfortable and you'll be tired, so limit visits with everyone.
Good luck!
2007-11-09 04:42:07 · answer #3 · answered by Take A Test! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 2 1/2 year old son and i am haveing my baby no latter then next friday. And i whant him involved asap but i want to know that he is okay and that i dont have to worry about him sitting and whating for a long time. But you should get him there as soon as your are ready to get him there. but your husbon should be there for you and not leave or worry about leaveing right away so you should have something else worked out. And yes he might be up set he ant there but just explaned that you and daddy have to make sure that everything is okay and safe for you the baby an dhim befor he is there.
2007-11-09 04:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously not in the room but a lot of hospitals have classes for little siblings or activities while you are giving birth...if he goes to school, he might feel left out!!! If it is just not really an option to bring him with, then maybe that day let him skip school and have a fun day with an aunt or an uncle or grandparent or friend...zoo, museum, movies, something special because it is a special day!!!!
2007-11-09 04:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by maire123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was one years old when I gave birth to my 2nd child (boy). My family was there and a few church family after I had my son my mother brought my daughter in to see me and the new baby and i thought it was fine, She did get scared when my son starting crying b/c she didnt know what to expect and know what was going on she was in a weird place hearing a new noise. I think it would be great if your baby can be there. I dont see no harm in it.
2007-11-09 04:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by marie76444 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are having a c-section then he can't be present for the birth and at 4 he will only be bored. its best to let him stay with a close relative and let him know that when you come home you will be bringing him a new brother or sister. thats when its most important to involve him, not at the hospital..
2007-11-09 04:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by howie r 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him come in after you've had the baby to meet him/her, don't have him there WHILE your having your c-section. I had my daughter when my son was 16 months and they were both c-sections. It is fair to him as you dont want him habing nightmares and what have you. Its nice to see your son after having the baby as the first few hours you really need to bond with your baby and not have you son get too jealous. Now my son LOVES his little sissy where at first it was confusing.
2007-11-09 04:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by Happily Hippy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he isn;t going to be able to be in the room anyways so I would just explain that you are going to have the baby and answer any questions he has, send him to school and let him have an eventful regular day. He will be board in the hospital waiting around. Have grandma take him over after he gets out at his regular time.
2007-11-09 04:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
None of my children were there for eachothers birth. I worried they would find it scary. They met their sisters after the births took place. I am pregnant with baby number 4 and will do the same thing.
2007-11-09 04:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋