Can a woman be assertive without being b*tchy?

Question

Why doesn't it look natural when a woman is confident and assertive? They end up coming across as being a b*tch.

Answer 1

Because its not natural. Aggression is a masculine (male) trait. So naturally a woman coming across like a man would look rather 'bitchy'.

Answer 2

It's possible. I work with many female lawyers, and some of them do come across as being b!tchy, but many of them are still assertive without getting the ***** label. It all has to do with tact and diplomacy. Women who take the role of being "in charge" and have the attitude that subordinates work for them come off as b!tchy. On the flipside, the women who take a team approach and have the "we all work together" attitude don't. Bear in mind that the team attitude doesn't mean the female "boss" backs down when challenged, but it does mean that she keeps her composure and doesn't let temper or emotion get the best of her. It's the same with many men, really. I consider any guy who rules by fear and barks orders at his subordinates to be a *****. See how much difference the way you treat people makes?

Answer 3

I always answer every one of your questions, because I feel I can help. And today I think your being honest. Most of the time I thinking you are telling lies. Some people take quiet for shyness, and that is not always the case. Some people take quiet for being stuck up, and that is not always the case. I am an observer as well. You should join the police force and help fight crime. Observers usually seem very content in there life. But when they speak, they speak the truth, And this truth seems almost like b***hiness. In away when you complain about something, you are being B***HY. And when you do it in a calm manner, people really don't know how to react. Try this, actually try to be mean, that usually makes them nice. Are even better yet, Be real nice, Instead of using a tone that is normal. Go a little weaker. Apologize, for what your about to say. "I am sorry, and I don't usually do this, but I asked for no tomatoes and there is tomatoes on this sandwich. Is there anyway to get a new sandwich" Try being super nice. And not be so direct.

Answer 4

yes they can be, but you are right. society does look at assertive women as b i tches or mean. I would know, ihave witnessed it first hand and when men do it, they are seen as powerful. I believe this is a transitional state in the feminist movement and that this attitude will change with time as more women get into the work place and hold high positions. Problem is this attitude is a limiting factor to career advancement for women

Answer 5

women *can* be assertive without being b!tchy, but to some people (because of their perceptions of the world) it doesn't "look" natural and it "comes across" (to them) as being b!tchy, but this is not universal & depends mostly on the perciever's expectations & views of what "should" be.

but then some truly do act b!tchy when trying to be merely assertive.

Answer 6

It is in the presentation, just like when some men are assertive and some men are a**holes.
Women have a double, professional line to walk, assertive w/o bitchy and wrong w/o tears = respected.

Answer 7

I would rather be seen as being bossy than a doormat. You don't get any respect being a doormat and other people always take advantage of you. Besides, what's wrong with standing up for yourself? I really don't understand why being servile and weak are seen by some as being desirable traits in women, when in fact, they aren't. Why is it better for a woman to allow others to use and take advantage of her instead of saying no because some might see her as acting unnatural?

Answer 8

not always. The problem is many woman don't know how to stop at being just assertive. they take it to the next level and don't see that they have already made their point. THey like to beat a dead horse.

Answer 9

Of Course and sometimes Men can be just as bitchy. Being assertive doesn't mean bitchy. I think there is an obvious difference between the two.

Answer 10

No more then a man coming off as an @$$. LOL. But seriously, there is a fine line between b*tchness, and assertiveness. It's also in the eye of the beholder.

Answer 11

yes...she be assertive and to me, this looks as natural as when a man behaves in this way. The person who interprets a womans assertive behavior makes the judgement as beyotchy.