Are there any ideas out there? My kids have been a little spoiled during Christmas. This began because of a tragedy they went through when younger and I have allowed the spending to get rediculoulsy high. Now they are well into teens and their wants are so expensive. They don't expect us to get everything for them. So they are not bratty like that. I think I have set them up and now I need to .... what? How?
2007-11-09 03:28:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
To be honest... I think it is a pride issue I need to deal with. -mine
2007-11-09 03:29:45 · update #1
I can certainly understand your dilemna. I am a grand-father that tends to bend over backward to make sure that my grands have everything that they need. I am also the dad to five sons, and my wife tended to go a bit overboard at Christmas herself. She was not one to buy stuff over the course of the year though. With all that said, it seems to me that the kids are old enough to have frank talks about finances. They need to have a good grip on the costs of living anyway as they will be going out on their own soon. In addition, I would explain it as straight forward as I could that they are older now and their wants are way more expensive now. Mom and Dad (I assume from your question) work hard for what they have and it is very important that they spend the income that they have wisely. Putting money in a 401K at this point in your life is a much bigger priority than lavish Christmas gifts. Saving for college funds is more important than gifts. Another aspect that I would be sure to cover is that parents make mistakes too. One mistake is spending money that one can not afford. Credit cards are not the answer either! Making a mistake in the past is not a valid reason to continue making mistakes.
I hope that I have not rambled, but I think that I having a feeling for your anxiety. What I have suggested is just an outline so make adjustments that fit your circumstances and put your down and have that candid discussion; family style. Good luck.
Randy
2007-11-09 14:50:25 · answer #1 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As being a teen not long ago (well, I'm 27, but don't FEEL like it's been almost ten years!) I remember wnating the latest fashions, the hottest pager (LMAO! It's cell phones now!) but if you want to TEACH them the value of a gift, and how much better it is to GIVE then RECEIVE, you need to sit them down and maybe think of something you all can do as a family, however, if you want to lavish them and just can't afford it, try cheapcycles on yahoo groups, or eBay to find good deals. Maybe take them to a soup kitchen to help volunteer and they'll think twice after wards (not as punishment, but as an uplifting of the spirit) about spending money. Good luck, and OMG I don't even WANT to start thinking of Christmas already! LOL! =)
2007-11-09 03:33:48 · answer #2 · answered by Angela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u just need to sit them down and tell them that if you could afford everything that they wanted you would give it to them but you just cant. u need to tell them that u love them and wish u could give them everything but this year the money just isnt there and the things that they want are just too expensive. so tell them they need to be understanding and grateful for what they do get. and if they dont accept it then make them buy a gift and bring it to like a donation place or a childrens hospital and let them see the children that arent gonna get anything at all this year. theyll become more grateful for the things they have if they see others suffering. Its a good gesture to do either way. Good luck~
2007-11-09 03:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by Samantha1029 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a somewhat similar situation. My stepdaughter is 13. I'm now the only adult in the household with a full time job, as wifey is going to nursing school...
...You're going to have to just suck it up and have a talk with your kids. Tell them that you're simply going to have to cut down on your Xmas spending, and let them know not to expect as much. Be up front and tell them that your spending in the past was too high, but that you don't regret the spending in the past...I let my stepdaughter know what the deal was in our case, and she seems to understand.
Sometimes there just isn't an easy way to fix a situation.
2007-11-09 03:43:10 · answer #4 · answered by SoulDawg 4 UGA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to set a budget for christmas. Just tell them you can only spend XXX number of dollars on each of them and they can give you wish lists for items that are within that amount. Anything over that amount you won't buy.
It sounds like you really need to work on this attitude about money - not just at christmas but all year. Set a good example for them and maybe they will follow. i really wish my parents did a better job of teaching me to spend, save, invest and give. I wish I had learned to wait to buy items - not use credit. It got me into a lot of trouble during my early adulthood. I just this year became debt free.
Look into a book called The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. It saved my marriage, changed the way i look at money and really helped me set up a realistic plan for my money. It has helped me not just model but also teach my kids about money.
2007-11-09 03:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by RLW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Needs vs Wants
2007-11-09 03:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by hateizmybestfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I do... Create yourself an excel spreadsheet and make it month by month expenditures. Put in there what you definitely know you will be bringing in financially as well as spending, like bills, normal food expenses, etc. Do this for maybe 6 months in advance or more. That way you'll know how much extra you will have per month, and will know what you have and don't have to spend.
2007-11-09 03:33:36 · answer #7 · answered by Devon R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jackey, they are not all citizens who were born here. These are children who are also as illegal as their parents. Their parents drag them here illegally, putting their life in danger and then sponge of our educational system. As a teacher, I see it daily and it is not as bad in my district as in some surrounding districts. We pay for two meals a day. Classes for our children are being cut to provide for illegals, especially the non-English speaking ones. Teachers are losing jobs because of the cost of these illegals. Just because they are anchor babies is no excuse when the parents are criminals. They should be stripped of citizenship. We are also hurting in our schools because of the low test scores by illegal aliens. The lower the standardized test scores, the less money the school actually receives. Ask any teacher and they will tell you the same.
2016-04-03 03:51:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just set a limit you're okay with and have them create a list of things they want within that limit. If the page is blank - that's what they get. You're the adult - no? Gifts aren't mandatory you know.
2007-11-09 04:06:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By virtue of having teens my month is suddenly twice as much as my money it is the perfect "curb formula" I ever
found. When they whine I can say, "'my bad?" or "talk to the
hand" I take their hand and say, "I mean yours, cause I have
to work?" And, now all I have to say is "my...." "right, gotcha
mom, I'm out lookin' today for a job." and I am "feelin' that with you.!"
2007-11-09 03:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by pipercub1221 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋