I'm a full time-student and he works full time- we have 2 girls, (8 yr. old & a 9 month old) I have no income- other than the $50 he gives me a week to cover my gas etc for school or whatever. 4 Weeks ago- i had $300 left from money i had for school tuition and he was $200 short on the car he wanted- so i gave it to him and he said, "ill pay you back next week"... well that never happened. In the meantime - he claims he keeps bouncing checks and that his checking account is negative- so his checks are going to cover that. So for example. last week he gave me $50- and out of the $50 I had to pay for the daycare while i'm in school- buy diapers and put gas into my car. It's a miracle i made it to class all week w/out running out of gas. So yesterday was payday and when i asked if I could have my money- (i was leaving for my night class and didnt even think the car would make it to the gas station) and he gave me 20 bucks and said , "here thats all i have". So i asked, "can you
2007-11-09 03:06:38 · 17 answers · asked by Amy Clark 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
pay my sister for daycare from this past week?" and he says, "no, thats all i have." So i'm sitting there with $22 dollars- not enough to pay for daycare and sure as heck not enough for gas for a week of school (especially now that gas is $3.29 a gallon) I was so upset. I ended up not going to class last night- 1. because i was upset 2. i didnt have money for gas. He just says, "well can't we just pay your sister next week?" Does he not get her daycare is her job? You can't just say, "oh we can't pay you this week... sorry".. Anyways so what IRKS THE CRAP OUT OF ME- he pays "his" bills from before we were together (ie old student loans and who knows what else) and then i get whatever is left over- and i am expected to use my money i get from him to buy things for OUR daughters. And then he says, "im gonna go meet some friends and go bowling" ... and then 3 nights later he's at home drinking beer-- I need some ideas or suggestions.... Will he always just be selfish?
2007-11-09 03:10:53 · update #1
He doesn't have to pay my tuition! And I'm sorry- going to school full time and running our household is enough for me to handle (we take care of my grandparents besides raise our 2 daughters) I actually like and prefer to spend time with our daughters.
2007-11-09 03:19:20 · update #2
the problem is not asking for money. MY PROBLEM IS THIS_ he makes sure all of his bills our paid- but then somehow im supposed to make money come out of my a$$ to make sure our daughter has formula and diapers etc etc.... Shouldn't taking care of his kids be his first concern/responsibility?????????
2007-11-09 03:21:00 · update #3
You're right- I shouldn't care about the 200 bucks- but I do, because he is selfish with his money he earns (ie he thinks its all HIS and only his) and that 200 dollars was my money for parking and school needs until the semester ended. While now he hasn't paid me back= i dont have my 200 bucks and he isnt giving me the 50 a week- i have no gas and no parking money. So- thats why the 200 is such a big deal!
2007-11-09 03:39:54 · update #4
Not the kind of man i would spend the rest of my life with you would be better off on state aid until your are done with college, might as well you don't have much of a marriage..
2007-11-09 03:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is supposed to take care of the kids first ( daycare, formula, everything), then the bills and finally IF there is any left, he can buy beer. His priorities are messed up a little. He needs to make the daycare a bill ( bc it is) and your gas a bill ( bc it is ) and of course diapers and formula and the rest are normal household expenses. Tell him that the 2 of you need to sit down and rework the finances TOGETHER bc it is NOT working. He is behaving in a selfish ( or at least clueless ) manner right now. good-luck.
2007-11-09 03:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by undone 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
- Call your local social services agency. They have federal and state programs that will pay for your daycare while you are in school if you qualify. Give them a try. The state can pay your sister for the services that she provides.
-Are you on WIC? WIC (Women, Infant and Children) will give you assitance to buy formula, baby cereal, baby jar food, milk, cheese, cereal, juice and many other basic items. It's great when you are first starting and it helps young couple's trying to make it on one income.
I'm sorry that you have all of this stress. Do not be embarassed to ask for goverment help, a lot of students use goveernment assitance for daycare expenses and many young couples are eligible for WIC (this is NOT food stamps or welfare, this is a program to help mothers of Infants and children) . It's a wonderful program and you will certainly seem like you can use a lending hand. and this will ease your financial situation.
Good luck
2007-11-09 03:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Plan and simple. His families needs should come first! You need to write out your weekly expenses and submit them to him 2 days before payday each week. There will be no exceptions, you have to have this money.
Do you have access to the checking account? If not, you better get some. He needs to be the man and give you the money you need. If not, get a part time job.
2007-11-09 03:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Since you are wanting to finish your education...why don't you take you classes at night...then your husband can watch your daughters....then there would be no need to pay your sister for watching them...If your husband is supportive of you furthering your education so you can get a better job...then he needs to do his part in helping out....Sometimes it could end up costing you more to work....after all the money you spend in gas and paying for child care...you end up bringing home very little.....It is going to be a little tight until you are finished with your education....and once you are finished you can get a higher paying job....When money is tight...your husband should not be wasting money on going bowling and drinking.....that is selfish in my opinion....
2007-11-09 03:24:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am probably going to end up on the unpopular list but here goes ---
Why are you not working? Seriously - your family is in a financial crisis and yet you are "going to school full-time" but not working? Yes in the long run education will pay off, but in the short run your family is going to hell in a hand basket because you are fighting over money and obviously in financial dire straits. Get a J-O-B!
I went to school while married and with children -- I got my degree and I worked because it had to to be that way. You need to stop being selfish (yes you are selfish) and stop looking at you, you, and you again and figure out how YOU AND HUBBY can WORK to make life better for yourselves and your children.
Grow up for pete sake - school is hard I know that but so is running out money!
2007-11-09 03:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Susie D 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sure your not going to want to hear this but it sounds like he's doing what he can...I respect the fact that you are going back to school, I went back and got my BA but in my case it was harder than you have it, I was a divorced mother that had two children...And there was NO ONE around to pay any of the bills, not even child support.
You may want to consider going to school and working also there are a lot of us that have done it...And that way your lack of income won't be such a stress on your family.
2007-11-09 03:32:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
After you graduate and get a good paying job, you can leave him for someone you met in college. In my nursing school 5 women did that after their husbands supported them through nursing school. Of course Oprah did a show about men who did that to their women, but never got around to the show where women did that to men.
2007-11-09 03:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
And you're still with this guy? Go file papers in the court house and get child support taken directly out of his paycheck by his employer before he even gets his hands on it.
2007-11-09 04:58:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn’t say that he is selfish. I understand that its hard time, and you need things and you have 2 kids that need things as well.
But at the same time it’s hard for him too. He has to support 4 people. I see that you gave him 200 dollars but at the same time why is it so mandatory that he gives you back the 200.00?
I will tell you what I hear. He is cheap he only gives me X amount of money and he support me, our 2 kids and him self.
And when I had my Money I gave him 200.00 and now he will not give it back.
So, if he was to give you your 200.00 and stop giving you 50 a week would that work for you?
2007-11-09 03:26:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anthony J 2 · 2⤊ 4⤋