My husband is sending text?

Question

I will be married 4 years in Dec. My husband travels all over the usa for his job. I just started going with him. When I used to stay at home I got our cell bill and he had used over 300 text messages and all of them to this girl that works with him.
Well, we got into it then when I brought it up and he said that she was just a friend that he talked to.
Well, time went by and that job was over with and he hadn't talk to her in months. Well, now I am here on this job with him and she just showed up here to work also. And now it starts again. They text message each other all the time I looked at his phone and I asked him about it. He got all upset and said they were friends. I know for a fact that she was messing with someones husband before. He goes on to the myspace website and looks at her pic. Not only that our sex life is down hill, like 2 times a month and that is it.
I want my husband back. I miss him. We are fine till she shows up. If I say something he gets all upset?

Answer 1

That's not a good thing you're husband is doing......even if it wasn't text messages, like regular phone calls, that's WAY too much contact with the opposite sex when it's non-work related. Plus he's not banging you.

My recommendation is to be very suspicious of their interaction and if you get and opportunity, I would try and see what they are texting about. Normally, I wouldn't be in favor of checking a spouse's phone but there's enough circumstantial evidence to warrant it.

Good luck....hopefully while your husband is using his little texting toy with his 'friend', I hope you have your own 'toy' at home to relieve some of this unneeded stress generated by him. ;)

Answer 2

I travel all over the country for my work also. And being one of very few females in my industry I can tell you I have become close friends with several of my male Road Buddies. A few of them are married and their wives have become upset by our relationship. I of course back off as soon as they tell me. The last thing I want to do is damage a friends marriage. So I see both sides of this.
There might not be anything more than a friendship between colleagues. But the fact that it makes your uncomfortable should be enough to put an end to the texting.
If not I would be concerned.
Now on the other hand.... Traveling like I do I see things.
I will say unfortunately majority of "Road Dawgs" are not faithful. It's sad but true. Some of us are but we are the minority.
Truth is it's just too easy. There is a sense of removed reality on the road. Often we'll say "well in real life..." meaning back home in the real world. And spending 24/7 with the people you travel with it's easy for things to develop. I honestly don't think I've been on a tour with more than 2 people that hooking up hasn't occurred. Whether with each other or with road randoms.
I don't know if this helps or not. I would say the fact that he brought you out with him is a very good sign.

Answer 3

YOu have to see why it is that your husband's so called friendship with this female co-worker is more important than your feelings. You can miss and love your husband all you want, but if he does not return the same love and respect of your feelings then what are you gonna do? Men who do not give in to their wives usually feel that eventually the wife will give in and let him have his way. If you do not want him to text this female co-worker then you must stand your ground at all cost even if you miss him, otherwise your forgiving response will be what he has predicted in the first place. In other words he obviously sees you as a push over and holds no respect of the fear of ever losing you.

Answer 4

You aren't fine even BEFORE she shows up -- if you are only intimate a couple times a month, and if you sit around worrying about this other woman.

I suppose you could start by letting your husband know you want the marriage to work and would like to have more intimacy in your lives... ask him what you can do to make the marriage better?

If you continue to have issues over this woman, don't trust him, then perhaps consider marriage counseling -- ask him... even if he is not seeing this woman as you suspect, you have still developed trust issues which really need to be attended to... lack of trust isn't any fun to live with... i know

take care of YOU.

Answer 5

I've been into your situation before. 95% of the reason why husbands have affairs because their wives have neglected them sexually.....and majority of affairs happen with a co employee. They spend more time with each other than with their husband/wife. Try to put spice up your sex life. When my husband had an affair, I decided to win him back. I read books about sex. I flirted with him, enticed him. I even pretended to be a text mate and had sex with him in text (up to now, he doesn't know it was me ha!). I see to it that he has enough sex so as not to look for somewhere else. To keep the story short, I won him back and he didn't know what hit him.

Answer 6

basically, they should have no contact outside of work (no text, no my space messages, no nothing!) ... and as for my space... it's nothing but trouble for most married people... my husband and I don't use it... the only way to get your husband back is to basically cancel the text feature on the cell phones... yes, you won't be able to text anyone w/o being charged, but, what is more important, being able to text? or having your husband to yourself? I'd quit the my space, too... personally... and I'd quit the sex until he shaped up... a woman can't have sex w/ her husband knowing he's not giving her his 100 percet! good luck... we didn't purchase the ability to text on our cell phones, so this is not a problem for us, either... basically married people should not put themselves in any tempting situation...ever... I agree w/ HOOTER below me, you, or this other chick! if he texts her one more time, that's it... I'd dump him... perhaps he will see the error in it if you come down hard on him!

Answer 7

If you want to save your marriage you need to talk to him. If need be, get him to a counselor, and talk. When someone starts looking for something else when they are in a relationship, it usually means they are missing something, or feel they are missing something and need to find it somewhere.

At this point there might not be anything going on… but if he doesn’t find what he is looking for at home… he will find it somewhere, and seeing as how this lady he is texting has a history of messing with married men… you need to do something.

Answer 8

He is messing around with this chick. No doubt about it. What you have to do now is catch him in the act. Don't say anything else to him about it. Instead, with the help of friends, follow him on one of those nights out or trips he takes. See what he does at night and with whom. Him getting upset every time you bring it up is a sure sign there is something going on. Don't take any of that crap from anyone. Snoop around about this girl also. She should be ashamed of herself. Maybe you should stand tall and put your foot down (or up his ***). Tell him if he doesn't straighten up your heart is telling you to move on. He needs a reality check.

Answer 9

if this girl is causing problem in your marriage, then he should be willing to cut of communication with her IF he wants to save your marriage. If this girl was a friend of his from work, why is it that he never mentioned her and you had to find out about her cause you caught the text messaging? Talk to him regardless if he gets mad, tell him that its gotta stop or he is gonna lose his wife. tell him you want your marriage back and you are not gonna let some chick ruin that.

Answer 10

Try talking to him about when its not and issue, and what I mean by that is talk about when your not upset.
I will be honest, your first misstake was waiting to say something about it when you were upset, or when your guys were having your disagreement.
If you just had of simply ask him with a cool head he might not feel like he is being attacked, or accused.
when he travels do she travel with him?
I mean its a hard situation to be in, trust me I know, my wife travels alot for work and I kind of had the same issue. But you know him better than anyone esle, and if it bothers you that much ask for him to stop.