2007-11-08 22:27:13 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you're born gay, then you're gay. Trying to be heterosexual is unnatural for you. All this nonense about going to strip clubs, bumping up your testosterone and not talking to gay people is just that--nonsense. This is the same type of garbage "ex-gay" groups try to peddle. Some of them will tell you to watch sports and "cross your legs like a man." None of that has any effect whatsoever on your sexual orientation.
Your goal should not be to force yourself into an unnatural living situation, but instead to get help to understand why you have this self-loathing and how you can rid yourself of it.
Good luck and God bless you.
2007-11-09 00:13:02 · answer #1 · answered by Michael B - Prop. 8 Repealed! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you happy being gay? Is it because you think gay people aren't normal or something to be reviled?
I believe people are born to be what they are. If you are sure you're gay, then I think you need to find a way to be happy to be yourself. There's nothing wrong with being gay if that is who you are. Maybe the average person isn't gay, but so what? I'd hate a world where everyone were exactly like everyone else. Differences make the world interesting and each of us are a part of making it different.
IF you really can't be happy being gay, I've heard of churches and other organizations that work to turn gay people straight. I do'nt know if they work, but some have sworn by them and claim they do work. I don't remember the name of them right now, but as worldwide as some are, I'm sure you can find one online.
I think one thing you might want to do is see a counselor with experience in this field. A good one will want to help you understand why you feel the way you do and guide you through a period of self discovery and healing. A bad one will try to make you what you aren't. The only one who can decide if you're gay or not is you and you're going to have to be the one who seeks out a life that can make you happy.
Like I said, there is nothing wrong with being gay. I don't care what the church says. I believe we're all made by god and God doesn't make mistakes, so that means you're exactly who you should be. Take heart in that and work to be whatever it is that makes you happiest and most content.
Good luck. I wish you success in whatever you decide.
2007-11-09 06:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by Top Alpha Wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard question to answer, and I want to tell you right from the start that no one online will be able to tell you whats best for you, this is a decision that you will have to do some soul-searching for.
That being said I have a friend who went through something similar. To be honest I was a little homophobic before my best friend basically came out and told me he was attracted to guys but was ashamed of it. His eventual decision was to do what he thought made him happy.
He likened it to getting over a serious relationship with somebody, where you are not sure which road to take, and a part of you will never really stop looking back. He decided to count on the stable things in his life and draw a decision from those things. With a good bit of support from close friends, and family he decided to make the decision and he came out of the closet that summer...
He was straight, wasn't happy being straight, and decided his life needed a change. His clothes didn't change, his habits didn't change, his friends didn't change, he just has a boyfriend now instead of a girlfriend.
The best advice i can give is not to try and do a 180 degree spin with your life, but take a bit of time, don't isolate yourself from everyone, and just try to live life to make yourself happy for a while...
2007-11-09 06:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by Dazed_420 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether a man is gay or straight the physical side of sex amounts to about 1 or 2 percent of every day so you don't need to spoil 99% of your life over the other 1%.
Live the way you feel most comfortable living and lower the priority for something you spend so little time actually doing.
2007-11-09 06:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well - I would think that the best thing you can do is learn how to accept yourself, just for who you are. Unfortunately, many of us end up being something we wish we were not and yearning to be something we wish we were. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is very good at allowing us to learn how to think, without allowing what others may be thinking, doing, saying or reacting to affect us to the point where we end up not having confidence in who we are.
It's good that you are living in a time where homosexuality is finally getting the acceptance it so desparately needed for a very long time. Try some cognitive therapy, and be happy with who you are. Regardless of our religion, persuasion, race, creed or color, we all deserve, not only to be here, but to be happy. It seems you have decided that you don't. Grab your own piece of the pie and run with it!
2007-11-09 06:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no way to make yourself straight. The more you resist the more grief you will make for yourself. Years will go by and you will look back and wonder why you wasted your best years denying your sexuality instead of enjoying life. It not too late to change your attitude. It's not an easy life but you are what you are. Accept it.
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2007-11-09 08:46:52 · answer #6 · answered by ericbryce2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you just need to wait for the right girl to come along. It takes time you know...
A. Put a poster of Jimi Hendrix on your wall.
B. Start listening to hip hop and R&B.
C. Work out to bump up your testosterone levels...
2007-11-09 06:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just be yourself, that all you can do, your sexuality isnt a choice, it's what you are, it's natural for you. If you're not happy, is that because of others opinions? If so, stuff em and get on with your life. x
2007-11-09 06:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by thebear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant make yourself be anything you are what you are, but its a big event to be comfortable in your own skin, thats what u need to work on. keep a journal, explore how things make u feel and why. never give up
2007-11-09 06:32:45 · answer #9 · answered by skoz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeff - Gay men have more testosterone than straight men, so I don't think that's gonna help.
2007-11-09 06:38:17 · answer #10 · answered by skame 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋