I havent stopped crying since?

Question

Yesterday I called my ex after months of no contact we split in April and he lives abroad. When he answered he told me he hates me and he is married now. He then put his wife on the phone and she called me a whore. We split for a stupid reason I never did anything to hurt him and he never cheated on me either. I was hoping we'd get back together and have missed him dreadfully. How could he have married so quickly after our split? What makes it worse is that his new wife is a beautiful model (he told me to check out their wedding pictures on the internet). I havent stopped crying since, all I have eaten is a slice of toast since yesterday morning. I didnt sleep all last night either I just spent all night tossing and turning. I have a chest infection as well so feel crappy and low enough as it is. Please guys say something to cheer me up. Im not going to contact him again (im not that dumb) Im crying as I write this.

when we were together he wanted to marry me too. BTW Im 34.

Answer 1

He feels guilty about not having let you know what he was doing and so he is being brutal now in order to avoid having to talk about it or explain it to you. Don't want to be sexist but this is the way a lot of men deal with guilt. As for the wife, she only knows what he has told her about you, so don't let her rudeness hurt you, she hasn't got the faintest idea what she is talking about.
You may think that you split up for a stupid reason but it seems as if you were lucky to get away from this guy so lightly; he is manipulative and insensitive and you are clearly neither. Bear in mind that having a chest infection will make you feel low and tearful in itself, so some of what you are suffering right now is going to go away soon. As for the rest of it..well, you have been split up since April and you have managed so far, perhaps your illness simply reminded you so much of the way you felt back then that it is what prompted you to get in touch with him? I'm not saying that it's easy and he has certainly made things wore, but you already know that it gets better over time and you go from thinking about your distress all the time, to a number of times a day and so on until whole days go by when you did not think about it..and so on again.
What will make you feel a little better right away is to have something to eat even if you think you don't want it, your blood sugar levels must be down around your ankles and that always makes a person feel depressed so get some soup and a sandwich or some soda and chocolate' ask a friend round for the afternoon or evening and order in a pizza if you can... and remember..he's a pig and people aren't allowed to mate with farm animals!

Answer 2

Forget what he's done, it doesn't matter and it's none of your business. You split, and for whatever reason he was very much more hurt and damaged by the split than you thought - otherwise why would he be behaving so badly now? He's reacting like a spoiled child.

It's almost as if he was waiting for an excuse to get out of your relationship, and now wants to make you feel bad about losing him and gloat over your misery by insisting you look at his happiness. That's not the behaviour of a mature, loving, confident adult.

If he was always the kind of person who badmouthed those who hurt him and told lies about them, then you're well out of it and this other girl is unfortunate.

If he didn't behave like that before, he has not reacted well to your splitting up and has become the kind of person no woman wants in her life. You've had a lucky escape - you could have ended up married to someone who would behave in this way.

Maybe (since he lives aboard) he was seeing this girl the whole time he was seeing you? When you split for a 'silly reason' he could have seen it as an opportunity to focus on her and tidy up his life by getting married.

Right now you're grieving because the relationship you though you could revive has died. You'll go through all the normal stages of bereavement - denial, anger, self-blame - but you will recover.

Treat yourself like you would anyone else who's just had a terrible and sudden loss. Be nice to yourself. Plan a little treat each day. Talk to your good friends and let them help you. Make sure you carry on with as much of your normal life as possible - don't sacrifice your job, your future or your security to your grief. In time, the grief will fade and you'll still have a real life with good friends and things you enjoy. Then you'll be ready to choose a new love.

Next time, try to not pick someone with the attention span of a gnat and the temper tantrums of a spoiled child, OK? Look for a man who deserves someone as warm and loving as you, someone whose life you can truly know and share. I wish you happiness.

Answer 3

Oh love there are so many people out here who really feel for you and care about what you're going through. Many of us have been there too! Don't torment yourself with looking at his silly wedding pictures. You've had no contact for months; it's a pity you rang him actually, you could have been just going along with your own life on your merry way. Don't worry about her either, EVERYONE looks good on their wedding day, it's pretty darn hard not to with all the hair/dress/makeup attention you get. She doesn't look like that every day, trust me!
And now for you. You need to nurture yourself right now. Thank you for writing and sharing this with us. It helps those of us who've been there and those of us who are in it to know we're not alone. I'm sorry you're feeling sick and you can't afford to neglect your health, start nourishing yourself again, and don't forget chocolate! It really helps, even neurologically it has a comforting effect that you could really do with right now. You need to get yourself busy so you're not thinking too much about him and about all this. Go see a funny movie, hire one if you're not up to going out, read some light magazines, play on the internet, and DON'T, please don't, waste any more of your precious energy on this unworthy person. Hang out with some cool people, hook up with good friends, and don't be tempted to rehash all the details over and over with people, it'll just keep you stuck in it and bring you down further. You know you might find this hard to believe right now, I didn't either when I was in the thick of it, but the truth is time really does heal, and one day you'll look back on this and it won't even stir any emotion in you. You go on and have such a wonderful rich and fulfilling life and he'll become a distant memory that you won't miss anymore. God bless you and good luck. I and many others are really wishing you well.

Answer 4

No pressure, no diamonds!

Sounds like both he and she are a real class act! I say good riddance to bad rubbish. Someone who would conduct themselves like that is abominable to say the very least.

I know you say you split for no good reason but sometimes "no good reason" means a lot of little reasons and I bet one of them had to do with your intuition about how he treated people.

It's the old addage that you can tell how a guy is by how he treats his mother and the waitress at a restaurant. We might not make a conscious note of these things but suconsciously these little experiences embed under our skin and cause us to have meaningless disagreements because it is hard to tell what is really bothering us.

Good for him, he has a model wife...too bad her personality doesn't match her looks...

You just have to fill your life up with other things.

Trust me, you will look back on this and say thank GOD I'm not her.

For now, go take a shower and (as my grandma would say) "Wash that man right outta yer hair!" The steam should help your chest cold as well.

Congrats on not ending up with the loser of the century.

Answer 5

You`ve just been lucky you did the right thing and stand on your ground and decide to get away from this guy, who has the guts and go further by turning the phone to his newly achieved wife. This people are pitiful individual who are attached to hurting people without any resort of compassion in their heart.Now that you are crying because of these, there must be a time that this people also will someday be judged by their passed action , you`ll see.
Consider yourself lucky , for if you`re the one to whom this guy is , your future would surely be deemed , for he is doomed to destroy whoever he is with.Its very difficult to accept the fact but , in time there must be surely a very good man instore for you , God Bless!

Answer 6

chicka, is his name karl lucas? Wow he sounds like my soon to be ex..... do NOT Under any circumstance, waste one more drop of sweat, blood, tears, or thought on that man.... he is a bonafide loser, and so is his wife... anyone who rushes into a marriage that fast is just begging for a disaster, so let him get on with it.... YOU DO NOT NEED HIM.... the world is a huge place, and there is someone else, someone decent out there.... do not let this hurt you... he is just not worth it. You are so much better than that. He will get what he deserves... and the best part is that when he does, you will have moved on with your life so far that you wont even care a bit.... let it go.. you're strong. he's a coward. forget him.

Answer 7

You've made a good decision not to contact him again. NOW its time for you to MOVE ON. You deserve so much more. Don't shed one more tear, unless its a happy tear that he is no longer in your life. Sugar he done you a big favor by getting out of your life. Call friends, go places, let your heart be free. Never know who's out there waiting for you. YOU go girl.

Answer 8

aside from the fact that I think this is a joke... you don't get your period when you are pregnant the blood is used to feed the baby if it comes out it is bad. If your mom really said this I suggest you think about adoption for this child as your support system is not going to be there for you and you should attempt to give this child a great life. when you are older you can have children but now be a kid.

Answer 9

Im so sorry that idiot hurt you! I went thru something similar. Time is the only thing that heal your heart and start looking for someone else. It makes it easier when you have something else to focus on.Its true what Forrest Gump said-You cant move forward till you put the past behind you-and it is so true! So go get your hair done, buy a new outfit and start looking for someone to replace his sorry @#$$!

Answer 10

Baby, he isn't worth your tears. He's a low-life piece of excrement that shouldn't be allowed to breath the same air as normal humans. Learn from this and don't make the same mistake again. I feel for ya babe. There are too many stupid men out there and not enough good ones.