I feel real stupid asking this?

Question

I have been married almost 10 years. I love my wife to death, she is my best friend. The problem is that I am not satisfied sexually anymore. I have started thinking about other women and I dont want to. Is this a normal phase and how can I get over it?

Answer 1

Don't "step out" on your wife. Just don't. It's just too problematic. You and your wife should discuss your concerns and try to work things out to your mutual satisfaction.

Answer 2

This is a personal problem, you need to ask yourself WHY am I not satisfied? Yes it can be a phase, and I suggest you do not consider other women till you figure out WHY you are not satisfied. Or you shall be up a creek so to speak. I take it your wife is still takeing care of bussiness, its just you. So maybe its time for you to ask yourself whats really important. Try spending more time with your wife, do things out of your ordinary routine. Treat her more special than you ever did before. Buy her some new sexy cloths ect. Take her some place you never have taken her, get close to her, cuddle her. I bet you get the surprise of your life, as by lighting her fire is bound to light yours, but whatever you do remember its You not her, give yourself a chance before you ruin everything and you still wont be happy.

Answer 3

I'm confused here, If she is your best friend why aren't you talking to her about this. What do you think those other women can offer you that she can't. Maybe you need to do differently in the bedroom. Talk to her. Try new things how about a romantic evening out for the both of you. If you have kids she may just be exhausted, you know or maybe you don't know just much energy that takes. You started this by saying you been married 10 yrs, huh you left her out of that as well. What else are you leaving her out of. You NEED to think of what you have at home, try to do the very best you can for your wife and family, after all they are yours. But if you call yourself trying and nothing works PLEASE be a decent human about this and end things with her before you bring the hurt, shame, and humiliation of being cheated on to her.

Answer 4

Oh god yes this is a normal thing all men will go through sooner or later! This is the male instinct that causes a lot of marriage problems because most men don't understand this nor do they know how to solve this. There is an instinct in every male that sooner or later will cause them to get "bored" of the same woman after so many times! This is human nature because males need to reproduce if you break it down to primitive needs. But more civilly that isn't possible in this day of age because of marriage and the need to be faithful! Anyways I'm getting off topic. Yes this is normal and there are ways to solve this such as. Spicing things up sexually. Exploring new boundaries sexually and so forth. Suggestions being.. Role-playing, room to room phone sex, dressing up, bondage, or even sudden spurs of sexual acts in place such as elevators. But regardless you will get through this. Just remember. Do not do anything foolish no matter how tempting it is or you will regret it. This will pass in a few years and if you stick through it and remain faithful then the sex will become yet even more incredible then you ever imagined it could be!

If you need to talk more about this my s/n on yahoo is [e-mail]. Bless It Be!

Answer 5

If you love your wife, as you say, don't do it. Not only will you hurt her when she finds, and she will because you will become a different person if you do it, but you will also be full of guilt. Though it's possible to overcome an affair in a marriage the road to recovery is long and never a total return to the trusting and loving relationship that you initially had. I speak from experience. Trust is something that once lost is very hard to regain, if you every can fully regain it at all. I gave in to what you are feeling and spent the next ten years trying to recover from. We never did and our marriage ended in divorce. I to this day, 20 years later, still regret that I didn't just talk to my wife instead of giving in to an urge that ruined a marriage to a wonderful woman. "I love my wife to death" should mean just that.

Answer 6

I am a woman and this is my advice to you.....I would suggest spicing things up....DONT CHEAT ON HER...too many complications.....treat her to a weekend away, romance her, take some sexy clothes and maybe even some *toys*....something different, and introduce things slowly if she or you are not really into that sort of stuff and if you are, just do some new stuff........I know that you can find some things...YOU HAVENT done......start treating her more like your girlfriend again, but getting away will help, you can be more relaxed because at home there are always things to think about - bills, kids, the dog, what to do around the house, etc. - so get out and do something fun....spice it up....and love her like you havent loved her in a long time and I guarntee it will pay off for you and her....
GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

You are a very good man, pls do not be tempted to stray, you will find it not worth the trouble. I and my husband have been married for 7yrs and sometimes we both feel like you are feeling now, what we do is talk it over, weigh the pros and cons of cheating with each others consent or not, we always come up with the same answer "it's not worth the trouble" and find ways to make our sex life more interesting.

If your wife is your best friend and also not a judgemental person talk it over with her, i am sure she will understand.

I could have told you some things i and my husband do for fun to revive our sex life, but i am aware minors use this site, if u are interested email me and i can give you some hints.

Good luck and pls stay faithful.

Answer 8

The most inteligent thing is to talk to your wife. Tell her how u feel and your need of sex is more than she can offer. Anyway don't u know how to do it with your hand if this is the only problem or maybe the problem is the woman that u r too long with the same. U said u love her so u take her the way she is or u don't love her that much

Answer 9

Please don't feel stupid. Just the fact that you are willing to start asking how to fix it rather than just saying screw it (no pun intended) speaks volumes about you.

Your gonna need to do a lot of thinking and self-analyzing about things like:

What had changed, about sex with her
-- frequency
-- spontaneity
-- passion

What has changed about what turns you on
-- are you needing something different
--are you just sick of only her

Stuff like this
If you are able to talk to her without causing a fight or bruising her feelings, making sex even more unlikely, you should. Together you may be able to come up with some ideas on how to "spice things up".

If it's worse than that you might want to talk to a relationship/marriage counselor just to talk and know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Please try any and all things you can think of before you get used to the idea of getting IT somewhere else, because if you truly love your wife, you are gonna hate yourself, and your whole life is headed for the toilet.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 10

* What if your wife also thinks the same ?

* Real love is not limited to bodily pleasure - it is a state of mind - ask your self that you want your love to be based on dirt bodily pleasure or on the pure state of mind

* What if the other women betrays you after some time ?

* What happend if you fall ill after few days from now - who will help you ? The other women or your wife ?

* Pls do not think that sex is the every thing in life - live realistically open the eyes

Answer 11

As a woman (wife) i don't know if this is anormal phase or not for a male - but did it ever cross yoru mind that your wife may feel the same way???

The best thing for a marriage is open and honest communication - tell her that whilst you still enjoy it - you would like to ENHANCE it. Start with buying or making your own little board game - play and explore and put the fun back into your marriage.