im married for 17yrs now have 4 loving children..i was only 17 then.Im a product of brocken family,and since then my dream is to have my own family that is intact,full of love & happy..But now im starting to get confused my husband(my first bf) is a good provider,a loving father,thoughful ... but his cheating on me.We discussed and talk about it,and he told me that it was nothing that there relationship is for fun-only no commitment thing...He told me that our family is his priority..I tried to hold on to that,i told to my self as long as its not serious...But now for family reason,we're apart for the mean time for our kids future (got a job abroad). And i found out recently that they are seeing each other frequently.I confront him but instead his kinn'a irritated..And also he always tells me not to talk about it.That bothers me & im really confused right now,dont know what to think.I love my family but its hurting me..Please enlighten me..
2007-11-08 20:28:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it sounds as if its more serious than he is letting on, and he doesn't want to be confronted. your naive and believe him because u love him but he is telling u a story here. how can one live a Happy life knowing her husband is seeing someone else. don't let him treat u like this.
2007-11-08 22:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any skills to get a job outside the home? I would not sleep with a man who is sleeping with others and finances are his only contribution. You will still have 4 loving children even if you divorce this unfaithful husband and I don't think he is very smart if he acts and talks like your have no options and must put up with it. You can file for separation and he will still be responsible financially and I think your dream was to be happy in a family, right? I have been divorced quite awhile and if I knew then what I know now about by resilient way of surviving and attracting things into my life I would have divorced the jerk sooner. Think good thoughts about your future. Go see a lawyer. Tell him or her what you told us at Yahoo.com and you will have a better sence of your own empowerment. As with the death of anything or anyone we once loved there is a grieving period so let yourself grieve for the loss of a cheating spouse but when it is over you will be glad the floozy chasing scum is out of your life and you are free to be happy with other people or merely to bask in the enjoyment of your own company. Learn to be at peace with yourself and not to want anything emotionally from some unfaithful husband you can't trust. But believe me you will need his financial support and I would ask for and fight for as much as you need for those kids and you. I would also advise not to have sex with a man who is sleeping around. That may require a doctor to make sure you are healthy. Heaven only knows who he has been with and who they have been with... Take care of yourself and don't worry, take my advise, go see a lawyer and decide if a legal separation with child support, find out if you can get the house and alimony too, is an option and quit thinking of yourself as a helpless victim.. You will be amazed how much the law will protect a good mom with 4 kids against a cheat. And if it takes the police to keep him and his floozy chasing circus out of your life than I would get the police out to remove him and a restraining order too. He married you 17 years ago- he didn't purchase you.
2007-11-08 20:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by sliverofmoon2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't accept that at all. He is having his cake and eating it too. With your actions of letting him do this, you are showing him it is ok to disrepect you in this fashion. Stop the madness. Stand up for yourself and your family. You can say anything you want and who cares if he is getting irritated. You have every right to question it. Tell him and then Go to a divorce lawyer to show your husband you are seriously thinking about leaving him. Once a cheater, always a cheater is soo true. He needs to be on a leash and if he cares about you and the family he will come home. that abroad job isn't working and even if he says he'll stop he won't over there. Temptation is too great. Nip that in the bud. "kids future" can be solved another way, Get him home or clip that one go.
2007-11-08 20:41:46 · answer #3 · answered by Charlene K 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wait, what?? He is STILL cheating on you and saying it's OK because he doesn't love her? I usually don't advocate divorce or separation but man... this guy is a total [expletive prohibited by Yahoo! Answers Community Guidelines]. He is making a fool of you and you are letting him! Have some pride in yourself, woman. Don't let him treat you that way. He is not going to stop and he obviously doesn't care if it hurts you. Then he has the NERVE to get angry at you for asking about it? Oh, this guy is a something-something, all right. Do you want your kids to think that it is OK to be treated this way by their husband or wife? That if they get cheated on they should just sit there and take it and continue to be his good little wife while he runs all over town with some *****? That's crazy. Get a lawyer and get some proof. Then get a divorce.
I cannot BELIEVE some of the sh!t I see in here...
EDIT: By the way... YOU would not be the one who broke up your home, so don't let that get laid on you. It's him.
2007-11-08 20:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. You shouldn't have ever put up with this behaviour from the beginning you let him continue cheating on you breaking your marriage vows because it was for "fun" he's married that fun should've been with you. Next time hand him some divorce papers when you confront him he might get kinda irritated but he'll get the hint. I get that you are from a broken home but would you put any of your children through this would you want you daughters hubands or your sons wives to treat them like he's treating you? Respect yourself, put your happiness first and let him go.
2007-11-09 01:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by taken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would leave him if its not serious thing then why do it if he cares and loves you? i went through that wiht my daughter dad for 3 years he never changed. i wanted nothing but a family myself and im only 23 so mine didnt last at all. maybe your time as a family living together as one is over. you can still be a family with your children that will never change. you will always love him and think about him as well. or maybe if you tell him your not dealing with it anymore and your leaving it might wake him up and he might relise he is doing damage. i hope the best for you and your family. at the same time do you have a daughter? if so how would you feel about someone doing this to her? what words of advice would you give to her?
2007-11-08 20:36:50 · answer #6 · answered by ~* White Gurl *~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should try and talk to your husband one more time...tell him how hurt you are by his actions and that you feel that your family is being torn apart by it....if he brushes you aside and tells you that its nothing serious and he wont stop seeing this girl...then i think you should consider about filing for divorce....i know its your dream of having a good family life and you've tried your best to make that dream come true ...but i think you should give up on it now...if you continue staying with him, you will only continue to hurt and it will even affect your kids....nobody deserves the kind of treatment that your husband is giving you...if and when you decide to divorce your husband, sit your children down and let them know what happened...they deserve your honesty...after all they are part of your family...hope everything works out for you...
2007-11-08 20:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by geisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it doesn't sound like he's willing to stop. all he knows is that you have accepted it so he thinks he can go on and on doing it with no consequence. I would recommend leaving, especially now that he thinks you are going to let him do it because you fear breaking up the family. you need to find a way to be strong and leave him, you will still have the best part of the family, your kids
2007-11-08 20:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello life is short and you shouldnt be wasting your time with this guy. not only does he not love you anymore but he doesnt even respect you. you should end it and take comfort in the fact that you have beautiful kids that you raised.there are many men out there that would love to have a family to cherish and a wife to love and honor. if you would like to talk write me at mr1ricky at yahoo. hang in there and live life like its your last day becouse one day it will be!
2007-11-08 20:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by rick w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is right here "i continue holding on to my dream" Stop living in your dreams and get into the real world. You have to face it, your husband isn't your dream husband. You have decisions to make and one of those has to be to stop living in and for your dreams. If something about your husband bothers you then DO something about it bothering you. Your life is what YOU make it, stop expecting everyone to hand you your dreams.
2007-11-08 21:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋