Why do people think that saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty's on the inside would make...

Question

...some one feel better?

You don't see your inside when you look in a mirror. People don't look at what you've done with your life when they say you have crooked teeth. You don't have to know about what charities, if any, a super model has contributed to to see that she's pretty and that's why she's making her money. Guys aren't talking about your personality when they say you're too hideous to want to date you. Women don't count how nice you are when they rate your looks on a scale.

Answer 1

True, "lookism" is alive and well, and many a study will show how physical beauty has its definite advantages. Indeed, sometimes we find ourselves thinking of one definition of beauty and feeling ourselves sadly short of that.

Anyone who has felt less than attractive knows how those sayings can sting like salt in a wound. People mean well, but they need to understand that in saying these, they aren't dispelling the unspoken confirmation that evidently the person's beauty must be sought elsewhere and that it requires more effort to find.

However, at the same time, getting too wrapped up in the "outside" does incredible damage to the "inside." Sure, we'd all love to know that we can turn heads with our dazzling smile and killer bod, but at the same time, those supermodel bods don't come free. Many of those women suffer terrible eating disorders and constant pressure to be physically perfect. After all, if all you have to offer is looks, they'd better be damn good! However, a few pounds, a couple years, a nasty scar...it's all that stands between you and your self-worth. Imagine the fear that must underlie such a life!

And true, relatively few people are "blessed" with supermodel looks, BUT ...beautiful people are still relatively plentiful. After a while, if all you have to offer is looks--or all one seeks is that shiny new penny--you're really reduced to nothing more than the latest Barbie--and realistically, easily replaced. Indeed, no one paid Einstein or Margaret Thatcher for their hot bods. However, 20 years from now, no one will even know who Gisele Bundchen is; Einstein and good ol' Marge are earmarked in history.

The moral of the story is this: yes, it's fun to be beautiful on the outside and yes, it comes with definite advantages. But it is a story akin to instant vs. lasting gratification. Physical beauty is easily seen, gets lots, fades quickly, loses everything. In the end, it has no real substance. This is where those two saying come in. (Note, I never said that their failure to staunch the sting belies no depth or truth.)

Indeed when you look at your neighbor in a glance or stare into the mirror before you, you do not see your or their "insides." Your smarts, your talents, your wit, your kindness....all those things take more than a glance to "see"--and many times, much more time to amass any gratification for. We live in a country...a world...that surrounds itself in instant gratification, and it's hard to readily see, to feel, the value in something that may take more work, more time, more effort. BUT, it is there. To be able to respect someone for WHO they are, their "beauty inside," in the end, has far more substance, dedication, and lasts far longer. What's more beautiful than that?

With all the people out there, and all the things that truly make our hearts tick and our souls sing, "beauty" is truly a subjective experience for each and every one of us; it is in the "eye of the beholder." What makes me go melty may make the next person shrug, if take notice at all. This even goes for physical beauty. (Sorry, I can't see the appeal of Russell Crowe--but plenty of gals do!) The fact is, no matter what kind of beauty we are talking about (physical, emotional, mental, artistic, lyrical, etc.), each person decides for themselves what is truly "beautiful."

And I think, though we all love a beautiful face, it is truly the "inside beauties" that get to us in the end.

Answer 2

I am almost 40 yrs. old, and for many years I just didn't understand what the heck the saying meant, if anything at all. I thought it was something that a wonderful father said to his ugly daughter a loooooong time ago and it caught on! (lol)

To me it means that when we look at people we should look at the whole person, not just their physical being.
It is true that one person may be beautiful to one, and not so pretty to another. So it is true, That "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
So unless the person understood the saying, it wouldn't make any sense to them.
On the other hand if the person does have an understanding of what it means, and has a healthy self esteem, it can make them feel better. On the other hand if the person doesn't they will just think something like I used to think LOL!!
I hope you gain an understanding from the answers you receive!
And remember, that no matter what anyone says, If you are an understanding, gracious, humble and honest person, you are beautiful and a hell of a lot more valuable to this world then the ppl who lean on their looks!
{{{HUGGZ}}}
Tonia

Answer 3

You're so supposed to think about the fact that anyone's opinion that is truly shallow enough to judge you by outward appearance usually isn't worth worrying about in the first place. Half the of time that people judge other people around them they are usually very critical of themselves and not very happy in general from having a negative outlook on the environment around them.

Answer 4

it's an attempt to make up for or a consolation for the lack of physical beauty i suppose