I tracked my boyfriends computer and found that he looks at incest porno ie:brothers, dad on son, stepdad on son, twins, cousins. We are a gay couple. The porno wasnt illegal, it wasnt any children or anything like that but it was all incest themed. What do I do. should I confront him, is this normal, does this mean his family was incestual? Help please!!! I dont know if I want to leave him over this, I love him but this is really weird....
2007-11-08 20:00:40 · 15 answers · asked by blahblah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk with him ... keep an open mind and don;t jump to conclusions. If you are not able to talk face to face abotu it without feeling "anger" etc. then a good way is to "write" letters ... this way ... neither will feel akward about it ...
It can start by ... I happen to notice that you had visited sites realted to .... etc.
Then state your concern ... I am worried or concerned ... I did nto knwo how else to raise this up, but decided to write. If you are comfortable then we can talk abotu it, but if not then do write and tell me so that I can understand .....
I ahve found this means of communicating to be helpful, particularly when both are akward about the subject or if we are nto able to control our emotions when talking ....
Hoep ti helps. Cheers
2007-11-08 20:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by SomeOne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-17 23:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, just be understanding. I have done that at a certain period of my life. There's a good chance he has been a victim of incest or some kind of sexual abuse or he might be curious.. I don't think you should confront him. Because by doing that he will feel judged and rejected. Love him as much as you can. He's got some things to work out with this.
If you really wanna know, you can just tell him you saw one of those videos and give an objective insight on what you saw. Not negative, objective.
And then ask him what does he like about them. As casually as if you were talking about different colored socks. He won't feel threatened. And like that you'll know his real motivations. And from there you can make your decision to stay or leave.
2007-11-08 20:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mimza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clear that you do not trust him or you would not have been snooping on his computer. I think you need to rethink being with him. People with real relationships ask each other about problems, they don't go to strangers first. You are jumping to conclusions already, without even talking to him about it.
As for the porn itself, taboo fantasies have always been popular - they give people an outlet for interests that otherwise might turn into behavior. It's harmless so long as it does not turn into an obsession, or show signs of escalating from fantasy to acts.
2007-11-08 20:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very weird!!! I would definitely confront him. SOunds like he has some issues. I would research his past before investing anymore time in any future w/ him. Porn is fine, it's the incest part that is disturbing. Confront him. Face to Face !!! Good Luck !!!
2007-11-08 20:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What gives you the right to confront him? He's not your husband. YOU illegally tracked his computer he could have you arrested for that and then he can sue YOU in a civil court...and would win. I suggest that unless you are married to the man, unless he is using YOUR computer for illegal activities that you stop snooping...
2007-11-08 21:47:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is supposed to be taken literally as incest. I highly doubt anyone in the porn is related. I think it is more a categorical description for older/younger porn. You should definitely talk to him about it if it is bothering you.
2007-11-08 20:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by Corey (Go Dubs!) 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was just blown away from running across that kind of site and looked out of curiosity, it doesn't mean he like what he saw. When all else fails, ask him.
2007-11-08 20:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica M 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, sounds too weird. Some of this stuff may be illegal so you need to talk about it with your significant other. You can do this without confrontation, though.
2007-11-08 21:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
if you are that bothered by it talk to him and ask maybe he was molested and it is not his fault.If you are still weirded out then i think you might consider leaving him cause I am sure that this will not just go away. he will always have this and if you dont wish to join him and cant ignore it then you have to leave him.
2007-11-08 20:05:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋