Going Back to Court for Full Custody?

Question

My fiances ex lets there daughter sleep on a cot on the floor, drink constantly form a sippy cup(only chocolate milk), wet her pants and wear pull-ups, and she is 4yrs old and in school. Our other daughter is 3 and is potty trained, (I dont believe in sippy cups past 2yrs old bad fo there teeth) and has her own room. We do our best but she cuts us off at every turn she has began to deny overnight visitation because we are not married yet (Im waiting on my divorce to be finalized with my ex) She wont return our phone calls, she demeans my spouse to there daughter, she is jobless, and she has instucted there 4yr old to qoute: Beat my daughters A$$ if she does anything to her. And the 4yr old is a "big girl" and has about 30lbs on my daughter. We want full custody but our lawyer is dragging his feet what should we do?

Oh and after one visit when she came to pick up her daughter, her daughter was riding a trike i bought for my daughter so my fiance told her to grab it and ride it back to the house. But his ex and her mom werent having that, they told my fiance he better let her keep the trike or they would call the cops he got scared and let them have it. (I was ANGY) They pomised to biring it back and said it isnt a bid deal anyway she doesnt live with you and she isnt here enough it should stay with them. So i sent them a letter a month later asking for it back and they refused and said not because her daughter needs it but because i was rude in asking for it back, that she really didnt care because he daughter has another one just like it. But basically i am not getting it back fo my daughter. I wish i could say something to her but if you even appoach her she calls the police on you about something. How can i communicate with her?

No no if your kid doesnt put down her sippy cup at the age of 4 and her teeth are messed up because of it yes that is wrong. And no no sleeping on the floor is wrong. And again no no im not saying i am miss mom of the year and yes her employment is my business when she only relys on our child support (im paying) to survive, well that and DHS. Thats no way to parent. She is crammed in a house and sleeps in a 16yr old boys room on his floor. That is wrong. And my fiance has done nothing to not deserve full-custody even though i know it is difficult but our lawyer says as soon as we are married the deal is sealed also because she is Bi-polar and HAS to be medicated. She meets almost all the qualifications of being unfit. Oh and to top it off she is just po'ed cuz he got with me and i have 2 of his kids. ANd if i can work full time and not recieve a PENNY of child support then she can get off her butt and do the same, she whines if child suppot is a week late wish i could do that!

I am LEGALLY SEPERATED from my ex! Thank you. We have been legally seperated for 2 and a half years if i could find him id be divorced but the "Issue" is getting full custody from this witch. Im a mom and honestly im getting sick of bad moms answering my questions about healthy habbits for kids and sayng it is ok for bad habbits to consist because they let there kids do them. I spend time with my kids and love my spouse(yes i said SPOUSE) So this is not about me my "spouse" he asked ME(yes me) to ask this question for his own personal curiosity. I am only here for answers not to be treated like some woman who sleeps with everyone. If you have a negative answer then plz look for another question to answer i only have time for a true answer that might help my spouse and thank you to those that are trying to "Help"

Answer 1

All they are going to do is a point a Social Service Personnel to prove unfitness, and that will be for six months

Answer 2

I don't know what state your in but in most they have whats called a Friend of the Court,they work with both parties.I would also call Social Services let them look into things that are going on in the girls home.Talk to the police in your area to let them know what the mothers threats are so they will already be aware of things going on,buy a video camera document things the child says & does this is helpful with the courts & social workers.Get a different lawyer,most courts don't like to take a child away from the natural mother but it has been done when the child is not being properly cared for or is being mentally or physically abused

Answer 3

What you need to do is get a new lawyer. Next, have the child evaluated by a child psychologist and have these impressions sent to your new lawyer.
Ultimately, the court is going to side with neither parent, but what is in the best interest of the child. The important thing to do is to keep an accurate, yet objective, account of the goings on with the minor child in question. Especially with the visitation schedule.
Its going to cost some money, but its not impossible.

Answer 4

"We want full custody" She's not YOUR child, YOU don't get full custody. Even if the child's father got full custody YOU wouldn't be entitled. You're not even the step mother. Basically you are simply phucking the child's father since YOU are STILL married to someone else. You're fiance is NOT your spouse so the only spouse she COULD demean would be your current spouse...So she doesn't have a job...You're married and phucking around. So you have a 3 year old who is potty trained...luck you... but BFD. As for the sippy cups...you're overstepping your boundaries...What am I saying you're not even a step parent. She doesn't HAVE to return any phone calls YOU make to her...she doesn't HAVE to acknowledge YOU at all. The ONLY Person she needs to deal with in the raising of HER child is the child's biological father...These are probably the reasons the lawer is 'dragging his feet'. You're butting your nose in where it doesn't belong. There is no "WE" in your relationship between this man and his child. There is only Him and Her and his communications with the child's mother. You don't belong in on any of it.

Answer 5

Your fiance needs to get his own attorney and file for full custody of his daughter. This is up to him now. If he can prove her unfit (CALL DHS AND REPORT HER FOR NEGLECT) there will be no problem with him getting custody. But he needs to get a temporary custody arrangement until the final custody hearing can be done. That way he'll know his daughter is taken care of. Make sure you have as much proof of neglect that you can. Good luck, hun. You're both in a very tough situation.

Answer 6

You don't have much of a chance of getting full custody from what you have described. She would have to be a drug addict, with no place to live, and regularly abuse the child in order to be deemed unfit by a court of law. You will probably end up with joint custody with your husband being the main custodial parent at the very most. It is just not that easy to take custody away from the mother. I realize that you don't think that it is fair, but that is the way the courts generally rule.

Answer 7

did i read this right.. you are still married to someone else ? i dont know a court in the world who would give you custody with that hanging over your heads. my FOUR children (who all have perfect teeth by the way, used a sippy cup until they put it down). i respect the fact you work and are making a stable home and life together, but get your divorce first and dont put such an emphasis on issues that are really irrelevent. good luck.

Answer 8

the only thing i see wrong is the way she demeans dad in front of child. and telling her to "beat your daughters ***"
the sippy cup is not wrong. neither are pull ups neither is a cot or sharing a room. so she is jobless that shouldn't concern you as long as she is feeding her and taking care of her it really is not your business as to her employment. your lawyer probably knows he will lose the custody battle. it takes an unfit mother to have a child taken away. to me she does not sound unfit. comparing your daughter to hers as far as potty training and having her own room and not being allowed a sippy cup really is petty. just because she has that doesn't make you the better parents. not saying your bad parents but that is not what makes a good parent.

Answer 9

Call "Child Support Services" on your fiance's ex that way everything can be documented through the courts and your lawyer will have to stop dragging his feet. Good luck!

Answer 10

unfortunately you don't have a chance to get a full custody. She pretty much has to abandon a child in your care for that. Courts do not care how bad mother she is, mother always gets custody.
My ex-daughter-in-law is drug user and alcoholic, they still gave baby to her, even tough my son could provide more stable home. Court is always on mothers side.