Help how do i handle this problem ?

Question

My husband constantly leaves to do what he says is some thing minor like going to get some money back he loaned a friend or whatever and then stays out half the night and keeps calling with a million excuses as to why he is not back yet, he does this just about every other day and it frustrates me very much. Im afraid to give him a taste of his own medicine because then he truly cant take it and will start telling me im not a man stop trying to do what he does but its ok to him to treat me this way how do i handle this selfish behavior from him im tired of crying and feeling helpless.

Answer 1

Well... the only experiance I have had with something like this is my ex bf cheating on me... telling me he's gotta go get something for a friend or pay a loan or whatever the reason is he thought of something... finally I confronted him... I told him I knew everything but to be honest I didn't know crap...

After sticking to "knowing" that he was cheating he finally came clean and then that was the end of it...

Not saying this is your situation but... don't settle for anything less than what you know you deserve!!

Answer 2

I apologize for how things are going for you, I agree with you since i had this happen to me in the past. You need to confront him IMMEDIATELY (no more chances) and let him know how the things he does make you feel, how it's affecting you and how your thoughts are starting to shift. Make your insights be known to him and make sure you clearly state what you want out of this relationship and do warn him that you'll take initiatives if things continue in this path without change. P.S. you're a human and have the right to be treated any way another human can be treated, you don't have to be a woman to be treated differently. If things pursue then you'll want to really do something but the sound of your question it seems like it's already been going on a while. Either he's taking you for granted or he's really up to something, find out! Good luck to your relationship

Answer 3

Where are you from, I can't believe you would let him talk to you that way. To tell you,your not a man and stop trying to do what he does. What are you afraid of if you tell him you won't put up with his behavior any longer. I know you don't like him treating you this way. The only way he will stop is if you put your foot down and put it down hard or leave him. If you leave him it will only be for a day because i think that will scare him enough to think you will leave him for good if he doesn't stop his running around on you. Hon,you really do need to do something about him if you don't this will be your life forever.
Don't let him bully you into thinking just because your a woman and his wife you have to do what ever he says. This is almost 2008 not 1908 alot of men seem to forget we women are just as good if not better then a man. You do know your husband is most likely cheating on you,you need to follow him one night when he goes out or don't you want to know what he is up to.

Answer 4

It is never okay for anyone to disrespect you. If he does not show any concern for the way you feel, that it bothers you he is out every other night, not being with you, I hate to say, it's time to start making a plan on how to end the relationship. If he stops and starts showing concern by changing his behavior then you don't need to follow through. Remember, you are never helpless, you always have a choice as to what to do. Don't give him that kind of power where you believe you just have to sit back and take it.

Answer 5

Use reverse tactics on him. Don't be mean, just become distant and unconcerned. Don't call after him, don't look for him. Don't answer his calls when he's out. When he does come home, hardly even notice. Find something else to do. He is too sure about you. You need to put some mystery into the mix. He needs to wonder what you are doing and thinking. He knows where you are, right? Sitting at home waiting for his dumb a**. Find some where you want to go. Don't be home when he decides to stroll in. He will become real needy pretty quick if you are strong and do this right. He has you under his thumb right now, he knows you are insecure and needy and he is using it against you. Turn things around. Don't give in easily at all. It works.

Answer 6

This is how you should handle this situtation. When he tells you that he's to going out, don't ask him where he's going. Just say "OK HONEY". Do not call looking for him! Now if he calls to check in, act like you forgot that he was gone. Then let him know you're going back to bed. Once he realizes that you could care less if he was home or not is when he will stop constantly leaving. This process is a 2-3 week series of you not acting like a "needy-wife". Good luck!

Answer 7

Give him a taste of his own medicine. Don't be afraid. He is obviously up to no good. And who gives a s*** if he's "a man". He may be male, but he's not a man if he can't be honest with his wife and treat her with respect. Being a man doesn't mean its acceptable to do what you want without regret. Tell him you have to go get some tampons and then spend the night with your friends, or even just walking around Walmart. Leave him without a clue. Then see if he likes it. If it doesn't change, then I'd seriously think about leaving his sorry behind.

Answer 8

Your only helpless because you let your self feel that way! Why in the world would you put up with a double standard? Honestly I would be concerned because he sounds like the type that will also say that a man can cheat but a woman cant.( OF COURSE IT IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR ANYONE TO CHEAT) Remember you are the one that is in charge with how people treat you! Let him know that you don't have to put up with his little boy ways and he needs to get over his caveman mentality.

Answer 9

Do whatever you are going to do each day without regard for his schedule. Over time your life becomes more full. When he is around, he is likely to find that he has become extraneous. Whenever he is ready, you can include him in your plans as he becomes more considerate. It's eye-opening for most men to find that the women in their lives have lives of their own and need not pine away after them.

Answer 10

Sounds like a cheater to me. You have to step up to the plate and stop being mistreated. Two wrongs don't make it right. I would change the locks so when he came home he couldn't get in and think of possible divorce, because this does not sound good to me.