today, im sick of everything.
all the answers that cant be found
and of the answers that we have.
nothing makes sense and i just want to be alone
just whither away in my dim room, in my home
the thoughts come rushing in
and i cant get out of them
my only music is silence
trying to make sense of things that make sense
since the day of i dont know when
had a gun searching for where my troubles begin
looking for comedy in scaring someone
always brings a laugh when their pacing heart is done
who wants to take me serious?
who wants to watch me amusing you die?
i could never hurt anyone
but i can bring a tear to your eye
yea i thought about it before
you say havent thought it through
im killing your gut your killing me more
im thinking about what you would do
the thought tastes just like peaches
and makes me feel just like cocain
your perfect medicine is waiting
a pill to make it all o.k.
writing it all gave me smile
ill stay in this moment for a while.
2007-11-08 16:35:59 · 5 answers · asked by this is my avatar 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Today, I'm sick of all this ****.
"This ****" being your poem.
It made me want to gag a mouse
And swig down a jeroboam.
2007-11-08 17:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it a lot (although the part w/ the gun worries me a bit). Honestly I think you could work on it a little bit though. Especially paragraph 5, it just sounds akword to me (although if you were reading it to me it would probably sound fine). But I like it, good job.
2007-11-08 16:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by BloodyRose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope trashy poetry is just a passing fad, and not a trend. This is pure crap. Makes me wonder why I bother.
2007-11-09 22:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound sick to me you should go see a doctor before it too late ~~
2007-11-08 17:20:04 · answer #4 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice thought when alone and speak from your heart.
2007-11-08 17:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by kugay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋