When to say I Love You?

Question

I have been with my bf for 6 months. We recently had an arguement about a co-worker of his (you can read my other post). During the quiet argument I asked him "Were you in love with her...did you love her?" And his reply was "NO! I am in love with YOU!" This was the first the L word entered at all. I was very angry and just said "I don't need to hear that right now." I didn't want the first time he said this to be during an argument. I feel the same way but haven't said anything about it because I am afraid that he just said it in the heat of everything. I am 30 and have had bf's before and we have said it at different times..never took 6 months to say it but I now realize that I probably didn't mean it with the others. That's why I am so stressed about it now, I really mean it and just wonder if I should tell him...Thanks

I'm sorry for posting in marriage and divorce but the singles dating forum seems a little too young at times.

yes I am really 30 and it's not that I have "growing up to do" it's that unlike so many people now-a-days, I take SOME things very seriously and telling someone you love them is one of those things. Those words have been flung around so loosely and I value the idea...so I am pondering a little bit longer than some....
PS. I don't believe any of us stop growing up...that would be a mistake.

Answer 1

You two need to sit down and talk about it. Good luck though. Men have a terrible time expressing themselves. I'm sure he wouldn't have said it if he didn't feel it, you know? I don't know the guy, but I personally wouldn't blurt out the "l" word during an arguement unless I meant it.

Answer 2

Hey, u know when ur in love. U know when u love. U can separate all the "loves" of ur life. That's not to say u didn't love the others u were with at the time, but ur love for ur current one is different from all the others u've loved. Possibly a stronger bond too. IF u really feel this, then say it. But be patient, don't blurt it out. PRay about it, meditate a bit...clear ur mind and heart; and also, try and prepare urself for the fact that ur man might not say it back(because the heat of the moment does make u say things u may not mean at the time), but don't think he doesn't feel it. But these words are said to often and meant to little, so proceed with caution. Good luck.

Answer 3

When things regarding your arguement cool off, tell him how you feel! What's the worst that can happen? If he ditches you b/c he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, was he really worth having in the first place? It's not as though you're declaring your undying love after the first date. He told you that he loves you, and although it may have been in the heat of the moment (at least it wasn't in bed, I would have questioned that much more than this!), maybe that was just the trigger, or passionate moment if you will, that he needed to "let his feelings out." Anyway, I say just go for it! Good luck!

Answer 4

There should be no specific given time to say the "L" word. It should be said when it is truly meant. I don't understand why it is so important for women to hear it the first time... The fact that he said it, seemingly under duress is usually a good sign. People tend to tell the truth under duress. Either that or he told you to get out of a jam, but regardless of the circumstances, the "L" word shouldn't have to be said verbally. It's what and how he feels that counts. I'm sure you don't want to hear it if you knew it was a lie.

Answer 5

My first impression is are you really 30?

Not to offend, but the fact that this is a problem and/or a big deal by your age suggests to me that you still have some growing up to do.

Let go of the little details. Enjoy what you do have. That is the key to happiness in life.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I know that this is a girl thing and you wanted it to be magical during a twilight walk with the stars beginning to peak and the fireflys twinkling....but, that just isnt life. Maybe he could have chosen a more appropriate time or situation.
The fact is he is in love with you. Rejoice for you are loved!

Answer 7

Hi Scolby

I agree with Jackfaith....see how the arguement pans out. If you get back on track then you can let him know. I don't think now would be a good time. Just see how it goes.
Good luck.

Answer 8

He said it after 6 months my partner has to say it after 6 years

Answer 9

As often as you can, dont be ashamed of your love for someone or you will lose it.

Answer 10

See how comfort ur and tell him