myself has to take a bath
but something within me fights against it..
i keep gazing at the opened door of the bathroom...
almost ready to get off from this chair
and head to the shower
but my head says no way..
so i stay put...but still i keep gazing at the opened door...
so what i did...
while my eyes are still fixed on this tube...
...thinking about how to answer a certain interesting question...
...before i even noticed it..
i got up as fast as i could! stormed inside the shower room
and quickly turned the shower knob
The cool feeling of the water dripping all over me
felt so surprisingly refreshing
myself is pissed off but thankful all the same.
i needed that cold shower.
_________________________
*i apologize...i know this is crap..i know it's insane
maybe i'll rephrase this into a poem someday soon...maybe,
but you'll get your points from this too =)
2007-11-08 15:45:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
@garwy
Today I wear these chains, and am here! Tomorrow I shall be fetterless!
but where?
2007-11-08 16:03:08 · update #1
one of the reasons that one needs to read widely is to be sure that one never inadvertently rewrites something which has already been put better.
i take it that you are unfamiliar with e a poe's 'the imp of the perverse'.
2007-11-08 15:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by synopsis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once had a teacher who said, "don't be afraid of the obvious." True poets (as you are) use the obvious, the everyday to create art. Although this idea needs reworking, it can carry profound meaning: a conflicted and lonely soul trying to reach out through the ether to others by means of current technology and at the same time needing to nurture herself. You may have created a new concept for modern times.
2007-11-09 00:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have transcended the usual inane mediocrity and abstract word play - no preachy or empathy seeking dribble here. may need rephrasing, but it's not boring to read cuz you focus on real experiences... maybe you could build on that
and it's not weird since, "the unexamined life is not worth living."
2007-11-09 14:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by soFresh&Clean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like the beginning of a story. You can build it up. Sometimes short bursts of thought are like that.
2007-11-08 15:54:07 · answer #4 · answered by dude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weird. I have felt like that. I chalked it up to not wanting to nurture myself in any way, not wanting to care for my self. Because of my self- despise........................but I have some fierce pride in that, itself, in a perverse way...........I don't konw
2007-11-08 16:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not NUTS, all my friend say am crazy what i come out with. so you are just A.O.K!
2007-11-08 22:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by Can't Stop Smiling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no but it's crazy cool
2007-11-09 14:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAhaha thanks for the points.
2007-11-08 15:51:24 · answer #8 · answered by chrissyopal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋