My 12 year old girl masturbates way too often. What should I do?

Question

about 3 months ago my 12 year old started masturbating. I noticed that she runs straight to her room upstairs after school and closes the door. If I move quietly toward her room I can hear her. We already had "the talk" about the birds and the bees.

I'm concerned cause it takes very little to set her off. We were watching "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" one weekend. We were laughing at the scene were they were shooting up the house when they start kissing. My daughter then excused herself and went to her room. I followed her a moment later and heard her tiny little moans. I've noticed that anything with the small bit of sexuality (like kissing and touching) and after awhile she's heading for her room. I try to keep an eye on what she watches. Her favorite is Degrassi. I've blocked all films above PG13 and TV14. I'm very open minded woman and know its normal. But she just seems to have a very little self control and give in to her urges too easily and quickly.

Answer 1

Well, let me tell you-You are a wonderful Mother for not beating her on the head several times with a Bible(The Bible never even says it is wrong, the thing that gets me...)

There is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is a great sign that your daughter is healthy, not to mention, normal. It's okay to block those things if you would rather not want her to watch them. Plus, would you rather a boy come over and do it for her? I would just let her be.

Answer 2

Anyone saying that 12 is really young to start masturbating is incredibly off base. I know people (who were NEVER molested in any way) who have masturbated since they were toddlers. I started at around 7 or 8. People develop at different stages, and 12 is definitely not early.

She's probably just excited about discovering her sexuality--it's something new and pleasurable to her, so it's understandable that she'd spend a lot of time doing it. If it is interfering with everyday activities and obligations, I'd say talk to her about it. But if not, I think talking about it would only embarrass her, and make her uncomfortable with her sexuality.

The newness of it will fade after a while, and she probably won't masturbate so often.

Answer 3

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RE:
My 12 year old girl masturbates way too often. What should I do?
about 3 months ago my 12 year old started masturbating. I noticed that she runs straight to her room upstairs after school and closes the door. If I move quietly toward her room I can hear her. We already had "the talk" about the birds and the bees.

I'm concerned cause it takes...

Answer 4

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Every preteen and teen feel older than they are. I understand about the puberty thing because I was 10. Something about puberty that people rule out for females but not for males is that it will cause you to have sexual thoughts since "females aren't supposed to think that way." Children masturbate and it's not talked about a lot but I have heard of it in my psych classes. Babies even masturbate in the womb. I'm not promoting it but discovery is an important part of adolescence. Think of yourself as young now because if you keep believing you are older than you feel you will convince yourself that you can engage in mature activities based on your own self assessment. Keep telling yourself you are young so you may enjoy it rather than live up to acting mature when you should be taking advantage of having the excuse to be a child.

Answer 5

12 Year Old Girl Masterbating

Answer 6

I was just like your daughter and just as young. I was very good at self satisfaction and that's probably why I did it so often. In my bed, in the bathroom, in the pool, while babysitting the list goes on. I am thankful that I learn-ed at an early age how to satisfy myself, it probably kept me a virgin a far lot longer than other wise. I was a straight A student, very respectful of adults, started working and helping out at 14, had lots of friends, both boys and girls and incidentally, I went to church regularly. Shes most likely a good girl, just has more testosterone(?) than most girls, like I did. If she is like me, she will never be intimidated by boys or men, and won't fall in love with the first looser she meets. She will have a happy satisfying sex life and won't have to depend on a man to make her happy. Nor will she settle for anyone that won't. Leave her alone to discover her body and be glad it's with her own hands and not someone elses!

Answer 7

Anyone who says take her to a psychiatrist, just don't. If you take her to a psychiatrist, she will most likely be embarrassed and go to boys at school or other girls, both of which would most likely tell her the opposite of the right thing to do. And just in case, I would recommend that you try to ask her in some way if she is being sexually abused. She could even think it's ok that the person does it. Hope this helped:)

Answer 8

Your absolutely normal every other child at your age wether male or female think about it or masturbate really young boys experiment with thier penises because it feels different. Your not different at allyo may be more mature but let your self grow up and have fun too. I got my perio when i was real young i would of been 9 turning 10 and i had no idea what was going on my bobs strting popping out i was gettig embarrassed about not shaving my legs and its all apart of growing up.

Answer 9

Jeez that is a good question. See this is obviously a crucial turning point in both of your lives. If you ignore it, you could be ignoring a cry for help (for example I was severely molested as a young child and knew way too much for my age and started masturbating at 12...couple times per wk) and was semi-sexually active by 13 (oral etc) and had sex at 16 and went on to abusive relationships etc)...that's the extreme case (and I broke the cycle and am happily married now). If you talk to her about it you may sever any chance of having an open relationship w/ her. So, I guess my best advice is to maybe bring it up hypothetically...if she doesn't know you know, perhaps bring it up to her about a "friend at work" who's daughter out of no where is masturbating a lot and seems very turned on quickly..ask her "is that something your friends do a lot, does it mean they're sexually active, or do you think it's a normal part of experimenting? She might catch on so I apologize in advance ;) But take note you should be somewhat glad she enjoys it and feels good getting pleasure...most of my friends (I'm 26 w/ 2 kids) have never had an orgasm...what kind of life is that! Good luck...and I guess if you don't get to the end of it think of it this way...better for her to please herself than some boy/girl right?

Answer 10

She's normal. Too young? nah we all mature at different rates. I was a late bloomer. I didn't start until 15. My mom caught me. She excused herself and later we had a chat about it. She told me it was normal and that she did it too. She answered all of my questions about sex. Later she got me a copy of Changing Bodies, Changing Lives and a vibrator. Her only rule was that I keep such activity to my "locked" room. And try to keep it to late night and early morning. Knowing that my mother masturbated as well made me feel like less of a freak. So if your going to talk to her about it. Let her know that you do it too. She might be too young for the vibrator. However I do recommend the book its really put together well.

I also think your a great mom. You seek the help and advice of others before running off half ******. However you decided to handle this I'm sure it will be well thought out and the best possible way to help your daughter. God Bless